"My mom was crumbled on the mosaic floor, in the corner of the living room next to the ficus plant, as blood was gushing out of her nose. My knees were hardly able to hold the weight of my frail frame and I was ceaselessly trembling. I was five years old, witnessing another one of my father's raging assaults on my mom." As a little girl Mary had seen many of these scenes. She was forty-five when she became my client while she was going through a divorce.

"My brother lost his legs in a car accident about fifteen years ago. I was reading a book in the backseat of my dad's car when I heard the screeching sound of the brakes and suddenly a truck rammed in from the right front seat. I woke up in a hospital all bandaged up and soon realized what had happened." Ever since age eight Joseph had not been able to sleep well and nightmares haunted him, ceasing only after he sought support.

"My heart races, my breathing gets difficult, and my throat feels constricted anytime that I attempt to drive on a freeway. It feels like I am going to have a heart attack behind the wheel and cause a horrific accident."  During 1994's Los Angeles earthquake Hillary was driving on the freeway and since then she has been suffering from panic attacks. She was hoping that I could help overcome her fears.

All three experiences have one thing in common: FEAR. 

Traumas are the complicated results of experiencing fearful situations and cause dysfunctions in the physical, behavioral, emotional, and social areas of life. Obviously the natural and instinctive survival mechanism has supported us for millions of years. As evolutionary beings we have utilized the sensations of fear as a point of reference to protect ourselves; however, in most situations we do not require the drastic measures taken for safety after being traumatized. It is just the fear of annihilation and death that feeds such dysfunctions:

Physical

Physical complaints of general aches and pain, such as headaches and stomachaches are common among the traumatized victims. They may also have irritable and irregular bowel habits, cold sores, or eating disorders. Anxiety, short attention span, and inability to concentrate along with symptoms of fatigue and constant tiredness often result in more tension. These debilitating effects of defending against internalized fears can increase the tendency to partake in high risk activities with self-destructive results such as addiction. Nightmares, unhealthy sleep patterns, hyper/hypo activity in sexual drive, and illnesses of immune system are also common outcomes.

Emotional

Having conflicting emotional feelings towards family and friends, such as distrust and loyalty, can often coexist in a traumatized person. While feeling angry and disappointed this person can also feel sorry and sad at the same time, which creates disturbing or incongruent affect. They often develop anxiety while fearing that they may be harmed or betrayed and as a result spiral in to self-doubt and self-blame.  At times feelings of shame and low self-esteem can turn in to being depressed and powerless, or result in acting out with aggression and hostility. The consequential confusion can further lead to states of social isolation or explosive temper and eventually contribute to entering rocky relationships. The eruptive emotional turbulence in a fearful person leaves no chance for security and success. Even a perfectionist person's success is often built on fears of defeat or loss and will end them in misery.

Behavioral

Behavioral problems such as regressing into child-like attitudes, detachment from reality, exhibiting out of control and disruptive actions, intimidating reactions, or secretive and manipulating conducts are products of fear-based behaviors. Survival and self-protection at all costs can be understood as acceptable behavior, even in intimate relationships. Distrust and disloyalty, or dependence and clinginess become the sources of acting as either an abuser or the abused. Lying, dishonesty, and deceitfulness can be defense mechanism to avoid confrontation or seeking excessive attention. Fear of failure also leads to numbing behaviors such as substance abuse and promiscuity. Denial and running away from problems or aggression and hostility are the defective coping skills of fearful people.

Social

Since fear triggers the foundations of safety and security then the normal sense of peace and calmness is constantly questioned in all settings of life. The consistent discomfort and irritating sensations experienced in the past unsafe environment, which is often initiated in childhood traumas, become ...