It is a hazy Sunday and the sun is trying to break out of the fluffy gray and white clouds as the blue patches of sky are seen in the picturesque background. As my eyes shift lower, the happy green pines and the proud tall cypresses that have triumphantly grown on the hill facing my window draw my attention. Finally my focus rests on the spiked rows of bamboo which separate the window frame from the more colorful scenery of the outside world.  On the inside of my window, I find myself resting on a couch and in a state of mindful self-discovery.

As I come back to my physical limitations, the appreciation of nature and the joy of feeling connected with its beauties leave my thoughts and my attention goes back to my daily responsibilities. I remember my next article is due and that I have been thinking to write about the concept of "stretch." After all, every experience, including a daydream, needs limitations and a sense of knowing where to stop. We need to stretch situations to learn or gain more, but we also have to know when we have stretched it out enough before breaking boundaries. We grow up as we stretch physically, mentally, and emotionally but overstretching any of them will damage all growth.

Although from the outsider's perspective our life may look well-managed and flawless, the reality might be different. Many of us are controlling situation just because we try to hide the inner turmoil or avoid falling apart. In order to keep a well-balanced lifestyle we have no choice but to look into our inner self. Once we can realistically assess our shortcomings and strengths, then we will have the possibility of making needed adjustments towards a joyful life. Most times our weaknesses are mere imagined limitations that we have subconsciously acquired and grown accustomed to. When a person's fearfulness or sadness is a hindrance, the chances are that he or she has experienced certain barriers or obstacles in personal growth. Once growth is jeopardized, our emotional, mental, and physical balance gets affected and we end up on an overall problematic course. We feel misunderstood, unappreciated, betrayed, abandoned, weak, and hopeless.

 Even when a person acts courageously or shows an exhilarating attitude, regardless of the positive connotation, underlying imbalances may exist to be dealt with. The subconscious extroversive outbursts in seeking acceptance, attention and control, or introversive fears of rejection, shame, guilt, embarrassment, or abandonment may signify lack of emotional fulfillment. So, our humanistic goal is a continuous modulation and adjustment which not only includes stretching our limitations, but also creates a responsibility to be respectful, purposeful, and aware.

The virtues of RESPECT, PURPOSE, and AWARENESS (RPA) are at the core of any RESPONSIBILITY (RESPONSE-ABILITY). A responsible person is constantly growing and stretching out the domains of his or her healthy existence. He/she feels in charge and thrives for success, abundance, and fulfillment. The ability to act with a measured response to situations(RESPONSE-ABILITY) vs. the irritability to react with unpredictable reaction to situations (REACT-ACTIVITY) is the main distinction between success and failure. Flexibility or stretch-ability entails the responsibility to measure responses and requires accountability or continuous attention to RPA:

Respect: What you expect from others in terms of how you would like to be treated is a good way to measure appropriate respect. But, in fact you only receive the mirror image of what you show from yourself in terms of respect to others. If you are not happy with how you are being treated you may change the outcome by treating others differently. This is a huge stretch because we are often trapped in the thoughts and limitations of our past expectations, which might not have been reasonable or accurate. Our responsibility to our self is to realize what issues create reactive responses that do not allow for tolerance, understanding and compassion.

Purpose: Achievements cannot be made without a clear path towards a desired destination. If we are stuck in our comfort zone and lose motivation to reach beyond perceived limitations, we will end up jeopardizing our growth. That is why we need to stretch our beliefs and build our future based upon desirable goals. A person who does not have purpose ends up feeling depressed, disappointed, frustrated, and hopeless. A responsible person sets intentions and moves forward with purpose. In order to have a purpose in life we need...continue reading