The brain is an incredible instrument. It can retain information and memories far exceeding the most complex and expensive computer, yet, none of us uses it to it's full capacity. Even Einstein said he only used 20% of his full brain capacity, so goodness knows what miniscule amount I use!
So what we can forget is that just because we have had certain thoughts about areas of our life (such as weight and associated eating habits), we can change them if they don't help us.
Think of all the times you have started a sentence with the words "I can't...." Think how you felt when you said those words - vulnerable, exasperated, helpless??? Now try the same sentence but change "I can't...." to "I probably could if I chose to.....". That simple change to the way you think about something opens the door in your brain to allow you to make a change. "I can't...." keeps that door firmly closed and however much you want to change, you've already set yourself up to fail - a bit like a self fulfilling prophecy.
Here's some typical "I can't..." phrases that my clients use when they first come to see me to find out about how the LighterLife Programmes work:
"I can't lose weight - I've tried everything. Nothing works for me"
"I can't possibly stick to total abstinence. I just know I couldn't"
"I'm going on holiday in three months so I can't start any Programme now, it would mean I couldn't eat and drink on!"
"Socialising is all about food and drink - everyone knows that"
"I know what I'm like - I can't change"
"I can't afford it"
As you read these statements, notice how you feel. Do you feel uplifted, optimistic, joyful, positive? Very unlikely. More likely
you feel frustrated, belligerent, frightened, hopeless etc etc. Not a great way to feel.
Now try changing these statements to:
"I haven't yet found a weight loss Programme that can really help me to both lose weight and understand how to keep it off - perhaps this is the one?"
"I haven't tried total abstinence before. I know of a lot of people who have and had great results. I could try, couldn't I?"
"There's a whole three months to go until my holiday, I could lose at least three stones in that time - great, let's get going"
"Socialising isn't all about food and drink, that's just a part of it. It's mainly about friends, family, conversation, catch ups etc etc - the people are far more important that the food and drink"
"I know what I used to be like, that doesn't mean I can't be different in the future - if I choose to be"
"The Programme is going to give me everything I need, I won't need to buy any other food or drink, so, I wonder how much I actually spend on food and drink in a week now? I'll keep a log of every penny I spend, not just on the supermarket shop but on the snacks, takeaways, meals/drinks out for one week and see what it does come to. If it works out more than £7.99 a day (which is what the LighterLife Programmes start at) then I could actually be saving money as well as losing weight!"
Now look at how you feel? Hopeful, optimistic, motivated? Big difference and all you've done is think differently. Interesting isn't it?
Now try it for yourself. Over the next few days, every time you find yourself starting sentences with negative thoughts such as "I can't...." or "I'm hopeless..." or "Its' impossible....." Stop, take a deep breath to give yourself some thinking time and to calm yourself and then view the same situation using different thoughts such as "I could, if I chose to..." or "I've got lots of skills, how can I use them to tackle this problem" or "What's the best way I know to deal with this problem, or, do I know anyone in a similar situation who dealt with the problem successfully? How did they do it?".
The key thing to remember though is that you need to keep changing these thoughts until they become your new habit. Unfortunately, just saying them once won't make them override the negative thoughts you are used to having - think about it, you have spent years and years learning them so they are not going to go away overnight, but, in time your brain will start to adapt to a new more optimistic, proactive, mood boosting way of thinking and that will become your new way.
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Heidi from Market Harborough did!
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If weight and eating habits are the problem that take up too many of your thoughts then why not come and meet me and we can chat about how I may be able to help you? Give me a call on 01509 234433 or email me at debbie.ford@lighterlifecounsellor.com or text on 07860 017700 (text only, this is not a mobile phone no.) and I'd be delighted to meet you and tell you more about the Programmes we offer in a relaxed environment with absolutely no "hard sell" involved.
If you are looking to return to one of the Programmes then contact me for full details of options I can offer you.
I look forward to seeing you.
Best wishes,
Debbie Ford
Counsellor for Loughborough and surrounding areas
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