By David I. Bernstein, Ph.D.

How do we teach our children to give, and to give generously, to worthy causes?

For most of us, as parents and grandparents, we teach by example, and by instruction. We talk about those values most important to us, and we model the behavior for our kids.

While this is true in so many areas of life, it may not be true in philanthropy.

In many families, including my own as a child, parental giving was something that the father and mother did on their own. While they talked about tzedaka to us as children, and we sometimes saw them give to a beggar on the street, most of their giving was done in consultation with themselves, and the check was written out of our sight. Perhaps it was an extension of the privacy of their finances; perhaps it was their modesty. It was only in cleaning up their apartment after their demise that we saw the extent of their giving.

I realize that we have done the same with our children - most of our giving has taken place out of the sight of our children. We do not often speak about the causes to which we donate money; when they have learned of our charitable donations, it has often been by chance. More