John S. Gordon - Business and Personal Coach

"You have the greatness and the power.  I just help you turn on the switch."

MARVELOUS MONDAYS

 

July 28, 2014 - Issue 288

 

Passive-Aggressive

 

This is the third in a series on Assertiveness & Aggressiveness  

 

 
Dear ,

 

Welcome to Issue 288.  The mission of "Marvelous Mondays" is to offer an inspirational thought, a practical exercise, some humor, or a simple tip to jump-start your week and to enhance your life, business, outlook or relationships. 

 

Please feel free to forward "Marvelous Mondays" to others who will enjoy it.   

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PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE 

  1. I am defining passive aggressive ("PA") as a pattern of behavior of a person who responds to someone's request, statement, position, or criticism in way that may not be honest. The behavior can be either verbal or nonverbal.
  2. A PA person often feels powerless and wants to gain power by using PA as a strategy.
  3. PA can sometimes be a defensive technique by someone who is uncomfortable in expressing disagreement or anger out of fear of becoming uncontrollably aggressive, or fear of putting the relationship at risk. So It feels safer to remain quiet for the time being.
  4. Most of us from time to time will express some PA behavior and that's normal. It only becomes a PA personality style if it becomes a pattern in a personal or work relationship.

EXAMPLES OF PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE BODY LANGUAGE

  1. Sulking
  2. Arms folded
  3. Tears or crying
  4. Scowl or angry face

POSSIBLE PA SITUATIONS

  1. Chronic tardiness because the person didn't want to go to the meeting or to the event.
  2. Crying or tearing up when not getting your way.
  3. Being late in turning in an assignment or performing a task because you didn't like the task. This procrastination is a form of PA.

CONSEQUENCES OF PA

  1. The person listening to the passive aggressive person may feel confused, frustrated or manipulated.

  2. Negative feelings and atmosphere are created.

  3. Resentment can build up and then later explode.

  4. The main issue may be avoided.

  5. Loss of the opportunity to express your feelings.

  6. Trust can be lost.

 

EXERCISE
  1. Do you remember a time when someone used PA in dealing with you?
  2. Observe someone you know who is passive aggressive and how they use it this week.
  3. Is there ever a time when PA is positive?
  4. How would you define PA?

I am trained to coach individuals to deal with their own passive aggressiveness or the passive aggressiveness of others and to acquire positive assertive skills. I will be happy to discuss this with you and how it can improve your personal and work relationships. Just call me soon at 816-213-0125.

 

 

 



 

 



JOHN'S BIO
John has owned several businesses and is an attorney who has practiced in the business and estate  areas.  In addition, he coaches business owners, executives, entrepreneurs, professionals, speech makers and presenters.  He also coaches persons who are determined to accelerate their careers and leadership skills or who are considering a career move or retirement.  John uses coaching as a tool in his leadership and business results based consulting.  He is also a life coach.

                   **John is currently accepting a few new coaching clients.**