John S. Gordon - Business and Personal Coach

"You have the greatness and the power.  I just help you turn on the switch."

MARVELOUS MONDAYS

 

July 14, 2014 - Issue 286

 

Assertiveness

 

This is the first in a series on Assertiveness & Aggressiveness
Dear ,

 

Welcome to Issue 286.  The mission of "Marvelous Mondays" is to offer an inspirational thought, a practical exercise, some humor, or a simple tip to jump-start your week and to enhance your life, business, outlook or relationships. 

 

Please feel free to forward "Marvelous Mondays" to others who will enjoy it.   

Did you miss a previous issue?  Click here to view an Archive.   

 

 

DEFINITION OF ASSERTIVENESS

I am defining assertiveness as expressing your rights or position in a clear, firm, and confident manner.  Another way of saying this is to speak up with confidence.  Assertiveness is a positive attribute.  Assertiveness is not dominating or intimidating.  It is a method of stating your position so that both people in a conversation can experience a win-win feeling.  Assertiveness enables both people to feel like they've been heard.

 

NON-VERBAL SIGNS OF ASSERTIVENESS

Some non-verbal signs of assertiveness are being calm and poised, using a tone of voice that is pleasant, and delivering the message without any facial expressions of anger or confusion.

 

 

AN EXAMPLE OF AN ASSERTIVE STATEMENT *

The following is the statement of a woman who was the only female sitting on the various committees of her company.  The woman wanted to participate and wanted more recognition as a valuable member.  Here's how she handled it.

 

"I have been listening to this discussion carefully and have noted that in the past 20 minutes only 3 people have spoken and they have spoken mainly to each other.  

 

"I would like to contribute, but I have a difficult time doing this because there seems to be no appropriate time to interrupt.  This is a very frustrating situation for me.

 

"It would help me if whoever is speaking would speak to everyone by looking at each of us and by pausing several seconds after making a point.  This way we can ask a question or we can help to clarify a point without interrupting.  Do you agree?"

 

 *This example is taken from Asserting Yourself by Sharron & Gordon Bower.

 

EXERCISE

 

This week I invite you to do the following exercise:

  1. Remember a time when you were assertive rather than passive and how that benefited you?

     

  2.  In your workplace are there co-workers you admire for their assertiveness?

     

  3. In the next week be aware of opportunities where you can be assertive.

     

     

I am experienced in training individuals and teams to communicate more effectively through assertiveness.  I will be happy to discuss this with you.  Please call me at 816-213-0125.


JOHN'S BIO
John has owned several businesses and is an attorney who has practiced in the business and estate  areas.  In addition, he coaches business owners, executives, entrepreneurs, professionals, speech makers and presenters.  He also coaches persons who are determined to accelerate their careers and leadership skills or who are considering a career move or retirement.  John uses coaching as a tool in his leadership and business results based consulting.  He is also a life coach.

                   **John is currently accepting a few new coaching clients.**