News from Jude Bijou and Attitude Reconstruction™ Joy, Love, and Peace in 2016 
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September 2016 Enough Already
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 Attitude Reconstruction
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Here's an uplifting note from the Senior Editor of a Parents Newsletter upon reading and posting my article on how to communicate with your child.
"This is wonderful! I have to be honest, it really helped me communicate with my 8 year old this morning. I find that when I use better words she's more responsive -- it's tough sometimes thinking about what you say but it really makes a difference when you do!"
You can read the full article here.
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"Every day I ask myself: Am I embezzling enough for retirement?"
"I feel that if I wait long enough Oprah will give me something."
"Guess I've got enough crap to last until I die."
"Well, enough about us--Let's talk about them."
"I can't wait until I'm old enough to dress myself."
 "You folks drunk enough yet?"
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Hello friends,
Happy fall! Here in Santa Barbara the weather has turned slightly as it's getting chillier at night. Are we in for an Indian summer? Will the months ahead be full of rain? The answers are, "We'll see!" That's one of my favorite expressions.
"We'll see" means as much as we'd love to predict, judge, or control future outcomes our best tactic is to take a step back and watch what is unfolding with dispassion and a sunny disposition. From this perspective our best strategy is to make lemonade out of the proverbial lemons.
This month I thought I'd tackle the topic of "not enough." It is an attitude that I often hear my clients express, and I know it's rampant in our society. By continually complaining and evaluating ourselves, others, and time with a "not enough" lens, we inspire restlessness and dissatisfaction. So hopefully if this is one of your bad attitudes, you'll find some insight and direction.
You'll see that I've included a wide variety of cartoons about this topic. There were just so many right-on ones, I had a hard time choosing.
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I want to remind you about the upcoming two day workshop in Vancouver NEXT MONTH -- on October 22-23. Treat yourself and shed some of those long-held bad attitudes in a non-confrontational and safe environment. See the link on the left column of this newsletter for details.
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First some interesting articles and fun videos
Articles
I stumbled upon a fun website called BoredPanda. It's got an array of novel articles. Here is one guy's diary of his first week working at Target.
Another interesting article describes the hottest
currency in prison! Take a guess before reading.
Two Videos Guaranteed to Get You Smiling
The first video is of Michael Phelps and Jimmy Fallon playing the raw egg game.
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Not Enough
Do you feel like you're never enough? That there's never enough time? Money? Friends? Great opportunities? Recognition? Do you believe if you had or did something else -- got married, earned more, looked more beautiful, danced better, or had more time -- you'd finally relax and feel okay? Do you believe more is better? Are you rarely satisfied? Do you feel deprived, unworthy, or anxious no matter how hard you try or what you do? Do you secretly measure everything against an invisible standard and come up lacking?
If you answer "yes" to any of these questions, you are not alone. The price you pay being stuck in "not enough" thinking is that you are engaged in a never-ending struggle, reaching for more to appease restlessness and affirm your self-worth. Your tendency to constantly measure what comes your way leaves you feeling unfulfilled, insufficient, or dissatisfied.
A "not enough" attitude is something we develop by comparing ourselves to what we see around us. It is triggered by the messages we receive from our caretakers, family members, peers, and the media. We are by nature outwardly focused and consequently tend to judge ourselves and our lives. It's easy to lose sight of the reality that what we have is what we have. We need to find a way to be satisfied with that.
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The Cost of a "Not Enough" Attitude
"Not enough" thinking seeps into three distinct areas: how we view ourselves; other people and situations; and time. Thinking about ourselves we chant, "I'm not good enough," or "I'm not doing enough." Thinking about people and things we recite, "What's coming my way isn't enough," or "You're not enough." And when thinking about time, our familiar refrain is, "There's never enough time."
Having this scarcity mindset, keeps us wanting. To change and move out of this bad attitude we must do some inner work. Depending on our particular "not enough" stuff, we must focus on what enriches us, see the good in others and situations, and learn to enjoy what we possess right now.
* If you're not enough: Shift your focus to accept who you are, what you have, or what you've been given right now.
* If the outside world isn't enough: Accept and appreciate people, things, situations, and time the way they are.
* If time should be different: Relax and accept this moment and find the positive in the present.
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How To Change "Not Enough" Thinking
Being that "not enough" thinking is so insidious, it's going to take a full frontal assault to neutralize its power. That means rigorously identifying and interrupting your constant labeling when it arises. A good place to start is to write down your particular spin on "not enough."
Once you have identified your destructive thinking in these three areas, choose statements from below, that correspond with your "not enough" stuff. You might need a phrase for each focus -- yourself, others and the world, and time. Now you will have a complete list of truths to combat all your "not enough" thinking.
For a focus on yourself
* My presence is enough.
* I am good enough.
* I've done enough.
* My life is enough.
* I am fully satisfied with myself.
For a focus on other people and situations
* This is enough.
* I have enough.
* My friends are enough.
For a focus on time
* Enjoy the moment.
* I have enough time.
* There is enough time.
Write down the ones that apply to you.
Now you're ready to change your old thinking. When in the course of life, you find yourself in your old "not enough" thinking, immediately replace it with your new thought.
A necessary powerful tool to accelerate this process is to select one statement and repeat it over and over. Do this like a meditation, focusing on the words and ignoring all of the interrupting thoughts that seek to sabotage you. I suggest you set a timer and repeat your phrase out loud in two minute blocks, or longer. The ideal is five two minute blocks at a time. Repeat this exercise at least twice a day.
Making the transition to having enough, being enough, and doing enough may take a while. With each interruption of the old and repetition of the new, you'll feel the sweet taste of success. Victory will be yours!
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The Benefits of Finding Enough
The biggest bonus in your endeavor is that you will experience much more contentment. Your attention shifts to appreciating what is already here and who you already are.
This doesn't mean you don't speak up when you disagree with something you see, you just do it without an attitude.
You feel more empowered because you become fully satisfied with yourself and more accepting of what you and others say and do - recognizing we're all unique human beings doing our best. And finally, you are able to enjoy life and marvel at your abundance.
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Thanks for reading this newsletter. If you have any feedback, suggestions about a newsletter theme, or general comments, I enjoy hearing from you, so write me at: [email protected]
With love,
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