News from Jude Bijou and Attitude Reconstruction™ Joy, Love, and Peace in 2016 
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April 2016 Accentuate the Positive
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View from Paradise
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 Attitude Reconstruction
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Kind words from a reader:
OMG you are my favorite read!! Jude this is wonderful.
-- Linda
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Dearest Friends,
Happy Spring! I trust the flowers are starting to bloom where you live and your allergies are not! It's so nice to have the longer days. I'm pleased to announce my next one day communication class will be held on May 7 here in Santa Barbara. Here are the details... Come join me for a painless way to improve your relationships and feel more confident to speak up effectively. This month the topic is about how to look for the good so you can feel more joy, love, and peace. Take for example, the following cartoon... 
Interesting Articles
These three articles caught my attention this month.
The first is an article about food tasters. Haven't you always wondered what it would be like to taste ice cream for a living? The second reports on a published study that indicates that parents shouldn't put on a happy face when they are really feeling sadness, anger, and fear because "when they are not being true to themselves, that actually prevents them from experiencing closeness with their children." They also found that faking emotions weakens the quality of the bond they feel! The third you can either listen to or read. It's a fascinating account of regular folks who are good at predicting future world events.
Captivating Videos 
Here are some neat videos. The first is one is a birdie bathing in its owner's hands. Next, is a link to six Ted talks that might knock your socks off or at least expand your mind and entertain you. One, given by Amy Cuddy, is the second most viewed Ted talk of all time. It's on "power posing" and Amy's advice is "before you even put one foot on the floor, stretch your body as wide as possible." (Think of a dog or cat stretching upon waking.) 
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Focus on the Bright Side
Look at the news on television, magazines, newspapers, and the Internet. Are you aware of how easy it is to feel scared, apathetic, negative, disgusted or incredulous with what's happening these days, especially in politics and big business? In general, do you find fault in everything? Dwell on what's wrong? Focus on the half-empty glass? Complain about things you don't like, repeat stories about how others did you wrong, or zoom in on worst-case scenarios?
The price you pay for your pessimistic attitude is draining your life of the miraculousness of being alive. And it's draining everyone else around you as well. Have you become a wet blanket, failing to acknowledge what's working or punishing others when they say or do things you don't like? If so you are unknowingly or knowingly creating alienation and insecurity in those around you. You are not spreading joy, love, or peace
You can believe you don't have a choice in how you interpret the current state of affairs. But let me offer an alternative. Our world and the people in it are the way they are, not the way we think they should be. And sad but true mostly their behavior is out of our control. What is in our control is how we feel, think, and react to what we observe.
You do have a choice. You can frame situations as positive opportunities or negative roadblocks. So what do you choose? If you bitch and moan, that's the reality you create for yourself. If you choose to look at the bright side, being grateful for all that you have and seeing the positive things in your life - people, creature comforts, food to eat and shelter - then you will not get bogged down in depression, frustration, and anxiety.
Realistically speaking, there is quite a low probability that you or your child will be the victim of a terror attack. Fretting about it won't reduce the threat.
A positive attitude doesn't mean you stick your head in the sand. It means you care about the quality of your mental and emotional state and choose to focus on the positive. From this stance you still can do what you can to make your environment the best it can be. You can act from a state of wholeness rather than reacting from the skewed perception brought on by your sadness, anger, or fear-fuel negative attitude.
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How to Change Your Outlook
"What a relief! I thought you were someone from the IRS."
* When you want to complain about something, just stop! Revert to silence or look hard until you find the silver lining and voice that. It's a practice, but a fun one. Look at it as a game. You can get good at it.
* If you can't find anything good to say or your down in the dumps, physically release your anger in a constructive manner by going some place safe and pounding pillows, stomping around, or yelling nonsense words.
* Overlook what you don't like and focus on finding constructive solutions to obstacles. Accentuate the positive.
* Voice appreciations daily - Give at least two appreciations a day to those in your daily life. You can appreciate characteristics people possess or actions they perform.
* Offer praise for jobs well done, or at least highlight parts of tasks that were accomplished. Remember the formula for successful child (or adult) rearing is giving 20 pieces of praise for every 2 pieces of "feedback."
* Mentally find something positive about everyone you encounter or every situation you find yourself in.
* Persist with voicing the good regardless of whether others do the same.
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The Upside to Holding a Positive Attitude
When you focus on what's working, on what's good, you spark feelings of love and moments of connection in yourself and others. Not only that, you'll feel better. And the benefits don't stop there. You'll find that you'll naturally speak and act more kindly.
This shift will make you more attractive for others to be around, and you'll look better too. You'll find life easier and enjoy accomplishing what ever is presented. In addition you'll feel more gratitude and that feels good. Most importantly, you'll like yourself more and relish your best friend, your constant companion, your mind.
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SleepRecently I heard Adrianna Huffington, author of The Sleep Revolution, interviewed about the insidious problem many folks have -- not getting enough sleep. Her "wake up" call came nine years ago when she collapsed at her desk and broke her cheekbone. According to experts there are clear symptoms of people who chronically are sleep deprived, among which are poor decision making, paranoia, depression, anxiety, aggressiveness, mood-swings, and prone to making mistakes. According to Ms. Huffington, Donald Trump, who brags of only sleeping four hours a night possesses a good many of these traits. What can you do if you don't get enough sleep besides going to bed earlier and gearing down a half hour before lying down? Put aside your fantasy of how macho you are to run on so little sleep and opt to feel clearer and refreshed.
If you protest that you can't sleep, then try this simple solution. Before bed and anytime you're awake for more that twenty minutes in the middle of the night, climb out of bed and shiver like crazy - all up and down your spine and out your limbs for a good minute. Do it hard and with abandon. Why? Because not sleeping indicates the emotion of fear is in charge of your body.
Rid yourself of the agitation by releasing it physically. Get up, head to the bathroom or some place where you won't disrupt others who are already in dreamland, and repeat this nonprescription solution. Since the body and mind are intimately connected, if you deal with the physical, your mind will automatically quiet. I know this sounds simplistic but it works. While shivering, park your thoughts on "Everything's okay." "I just need to shiver." "I'll handle all this in the morning. Now is the time for sleep."
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Hey Jude!
What's the 100 most popular names of Chinese restaurants?
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Thanks for reading this newsletter. If you have any feedback, suggestions about a newsletter theme, or general comments, I enjoy hearing from you, so write me at: [email protected]
Cheers,
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