News from Jude Bijou and Attitude Reconstruction™      


Joy, Love, and Peace in 2016

Attitiude Reconstruction  


January 2016                                        The Priority Sifter

                                                                                                Photo -- Shaun Heffernan

Mark your calendar! Jude's giving a 2 day workshop on Attitude Reconstruction February 26-27, 2016 in lovely Santa Barbara.
You'll have the opportunity to focus on a pesky, destructive habit of yours, and learn all about the 5 tools to make the changes you desire.

Jude Bijou
Jude Bijou MA MFT is a respected psychotherapist, professional educator, and workshop leader. Her multi award- winning book is a practical and spiritual handbook to help you create the life you desire.  
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I will also be giving a full two-day workshop on Attitude Reconstruction in beautiful Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada on October 22 - 23 2016. It's called Attitude Reconstruction: Build Joy, Love, and Peace. Sign up It's an amazing conversion rate from US to Canadian dollars.       
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and take the free survey to identify what's standing between you and more joy, love, and peace.

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Consider purchasing
Keys to a Good Life, a book that includes a collection of articles, including one by yours truly. It is now available for purchase through Amazon, Barnes and Noble, etc. and is the perfect way to find wisdom to unlock your power within.


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Attitude Reconstruction

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Sweet notes from readers:

"Always enjoy your newsletters! Love that you include humor! and love that you give people tools for moving their emotions through their bodies." 

The following email was in response to last month's topic on list making to make your holidays a bit more sane. I think it's a very grand way to look at it.

"Thanks Jude for the newsletter. It always helps to center me when I read your book and the newsletter. One thing that has helped me deal with 'to do lists' is to relabel them as 'to love lists.' It reminds me of why I am doing the task (to express love), how to do it (with love), who I am doing it for (for the sake of love). It makes the day a lot more harmonious.

Check out the helpful content on the Attitude Reconstruction Website


A few chuckles from talented cartoonist Scott Metzger. For more, check out his website. You can purchase his greeting cards at


Before we tackle this topic...

Hello Friends,

I wish you a stellar coming year. May, like Serena, we all be rewarded for all of our hard work and efforts. Serena was recently named 2015 Sports Illustrated person of the year. She was only the third female individual ever honored and the first black woman. Congratulations Serena!

I have a heartwarming and heartbreaking Attitude Reconstruction story all rolled into one. I recently received this handwritten letter from an inmate in a Texas prison. This polite gentleman has been incarcerated since the "immature" age of 17 for robbery and murder. He is now approaching his 48th birthday. He received my book, Attitude Reconstruction, through a donation I made to an organization that distributes books to prisons. He wrote... "I am truly inspired by your book and I would deeply appreciate any books you can send to me."

While I don't think any of us reading this can fathom the reality of 30 years of incarceration, I am touched and once again thankful that he's found some inspiration from my writing. And as I write this, I have prepared a box of paperback books to mail him. 

This story is a reminder of how fortunate I am to have been given the life I have.  
Interesting Articles 

Do you wear the same clothes most every day? Do you wonder why folks like Steve Jobs, Mark Zuckerberg, or Einstein wore the same thing virtually every day? Well, now you can find out the reason why. 

And do you wonder why it seems like women's apparel cost more than men's? A study compared 800 products and found that women's items are priced higher 42% of the time!

The last article that intrigued me had to do with much beloved Coca-Cola. It traced what happens to your body one hour after drinking a coke. Gulp. The author of the article concludes that "based on estimates, 1.6 billion servings of Coke are consumed all around the world daily. It is time to think about how much Coke has affected health worldwide."

Funny Pet Videos

First there was an amazing youtube video of two dogs dining at a restaurant. Then some folks at a shelter in Utah had the idea to do one better and film an animal holiday gathering.
And then there is the talking dog. In one video a dog and his master are having a conversation about adding a cat to the family. In the other, they are chatting about bacon.


When You Can't Make Up Your Mind

Whether you're endlessly agonizing over an issue, be it to break up with your partner, take a new job, move to a new town, rent an apartment, or quit seeing your chiropractor, it's a tough place to hang out. Maybe this, maybe that. You're incapable of making up your mind and feel confused, stuck, indecisive, or ambivalent.

It's easy to get down on yourself for not being clear. Maybe you stay in untenable situations long beyond what's sensible. Your quandary occupies you and compromises your ability to enjoy the present moment.

There are several tactics to get clear. You can consult your pendulum, ask everyone everyone you meet for their opinion, do nothing, or write a list of pros and cons.
When none of these strategies work, you can do something: sift your priorities. The priority sifter brings a unique perspective to any situation.

The Priority Sifter
The priority sifter helps you get in touch with what's true for you and what to do about a specific situation. It integrates your heart and head and offers a unique perspective.

To use the "sifter" start by writing out a list of ideal qualities you'd like if you could have it all. They don't have to be in order of importance. Come up with at least 30 items. When you are finished with your qualities, in the "Rating#1" column, rate the person or situation on each quality, assigning a "1" if they/it has that quality, "0" is they don't, and "1/2" if they have it somewhat. When you are finished add up your total. Now divide that number by the number of ideal qualities you listed and you'll come up with a percentage. (You can use "Rating #2 and #3 to rate other loves, apartments, jobs, etc. to see where they stack up.)

                                The Priority Sifter

Determine what percent your require to honor yourself, and compare it to the percentage you just came up with. Remember in a school exam, 90% and above is an A, 80% a B, 70% a C, 60% a D, and below that an F.

Check your results with your intuition. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised that it confirms what you already know deep down. As a note, I'd be cautious about green lighting something that got a score in the 60s or lower.

The important thing about the "sifter" is that you realize that he, she, they, it, are just fine the way they are. This tool just offers perspective for you to see what is.

Hold Tight and Reap the Rewards

When the sifter makes clear the direction to take, repeat your conclusion out loud. For example, say "I'm going to commit to Tom" and express any emotions that arise.

Fully accept the qualities that he/she/it has that you don't like, such as "Tom smokes cigarettes. Tom is allergic to dogs, Tom doesn't like my taste in music." Keep your focus on your similarities. In the areas of differences, talk about them and together find workable solutions that honor you both.

If you find your subject does not meet your percentage, you can look at all those "1"s and realize they are what attract you to the person or situation. But keep in mind, they are not enough to override what is lacking. It might help you to do a ritual to mourn that which was good, cry, and say "Good-bye."

Hold tight to what the sifter and your intuition tell you. Remember the clarity you felt at that moment you made your firm decision. Don't waste time on doubts. Accept the reality, stop dwelling on the past, and move forward relishing the present moment and your new possibilities. 

Hey Jude! 

I'm afraid that if I do the priority sifter or ask my intuition, I won't like the answer.

Taking action and doing some hard things to get out of a stuck place, means relinquishing control over what you think you want. Frequently what you know within takes you out of your comfort zone and you feel fear as a result. Follow through and align your actions with what you've determined by taking the sifter and your intuition and you will be served over the long-haul. Stop selling yourself short. Sometimes it's hard to let go, but it's worth it in terms of your happiness. 
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