The priority sifter helps you get in touch with what's true for you and what to do about a specific situation. It integrates your heart and head and offers a unique perspective.

To use the "sifter" start by writing out a list of ideal qualities you'd like if you could have it all. They don't have to be in order of importance. Come up with at least 30 items. When you are finished with your qualities, in the "Rating#1" column, rate the person or situation on each quality, assigning a "1" if they/it has that quality, "0" is they don't, and "1/2" if they have it somewhat. When you are finished add up your total. Now divide that number by the number of ideal qualities you listed and you'll come up with a percentage. (You can use "Rating #2 and #3 to rate other loves, apartments, jobs, etc. to see where they stack up.)

                                The Priority Sifter
Determine what percent your require to honor yourself, and compare it to the percentage you just came up with. Remember in a school exam, 90% and above is an A, 80% a B, 70% a C, 60% a D, and below that an F.

Check your results with your intuition. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised that it confirms what you already know deep down. As a note, I'd be cautious about green lighting something that got a score in the 60s or lower.

The important thing about the "sifter" is that you realize that he, she, they, it, are just fine the way they are. This tool just offers perspective for you to see what is.

When the sifter makes clear the direction to take, repeat your conclusion out loud. For example, say "I'm going to commit to Tom" and express any emotions that arise.

Fully accept the qualities that he/she/it has that you don't like, such as "Tom smokes cigarettes. Tom is allergic to dogs, Tom doesn't like my taste in music." Keep your focus on your similarities. In the areas of differences, talk about them and together find workable solutions that honor you both.

If you find your subject does not meet your percentage, you can look at all those "1"s and realize they are what attract you to the person or situation. But keep in mind, they are not enough to override what is lacking. It might help you to do a ritual to mourn that which was good, cry, and say "Good-bye."

Hold tight to what the sifter and your intuition tell you. Remember the clarity you felt at that moment you made your firm decision. Don't waste time on doubts. Accept the reality, stop dwelling on the past, and move forward relishing the present moment and your new possibilities. 

 

Hey Jude! 

I'm afraid that if I do the priority sifter or ask my intuition, I won't like the answer.

Taking action and doing some hard things to get out of a stuck place, means relinquishing control over what you think you want. Frequently what you know within takes you out of your comfort zone and you feel fear as a result. Follow through and align your actions with what you've determined by taking the sifter and your intuition and you will be served over the long-haul. Stop selling yourself short. Sometimes it's hard to let go, but it's worth it in terms of your happiness.