News from Jude Bijou and Attitude Reconstruction™      


Joy, Love, and Peace in 2015

Attitiude Reconstruction  


December  2015                                                Giving

Three trees -- one of joy, one of love, and one of peace!

Jude Bijou
Jude Bijou MA MFT is a respected psychotherapist, professional educator, and workshop leader. Her multi award- winning book is a practical and spiritual handbook to help you create the life you desire.  
Mark your calendar! Jude's giving a 2 day workshop on Attitude Reconstruction February 26-27, 2016 in lovely Santa Barbara.
You'll have the opportunity to focus on a pesky, destructive habit of yours, and learn all about the 5 tools to make the changes you desire. 
Also, I will be giving a full two-day workshop on Attitude Reconstruction in beautiful Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada on October 22 - 23 2016. It's called Attitude Reconstruction: Build Joy, Love, and Peace. Sign up before December 18 for a 10% discount to say nothing of the amazing conversion rate from US to Canadian dollars. 
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A sweet note from a class participant:

Thank you for the wonderful communication class. I read the first 15 pages of your book, Attitude Reconstruction, cried, and then I got down to work. 

Check out the helpful content on the Attitude Reconstruction Website


"Thank you dear. I suppose five gallons of gas is a thoughtful gift."

"This year I'm going to give everyone kittens!"

"I had a wonderful time. I just wish you were Oprah giving away cars."

"Mark. How fabulous. I don't have a smoke detector."


Hello Friends, 

        I trust you had a heartfelt Thanksgiving. I certainly did -- having treated myself to a trip to Prescott Arizona where I stayed warm in the chill by spending time with a dear friend and soaking in the beauty of the area.
        It's obvious, unless you've been living under a rock, that the holiday season is upon us. The idea is to thrive and enjoy during this time rather than just survive. I suggest you give yourself two great gifts for the next weeks - a lack of stress and actually celebrating the true spirit of this time of year. This newsletter will provide you with a fail-safe strategy to accomplish this goal.

        But first... I just received the exciting news that Keys to a Good Life, a book that includes a collection of articles, including one by yours truly, is now available for purchase through Amazon, Barnes and Noble, etc. etc.. It's the perfect way to find wisdom to unlock your power within.


Interesting Articles

This fascinating article about the journey a plastic bottle takes at the recycle center reminds us that "the cleaner a plastic bottle is, the more likely it will be marked for reincarnation as something new." In New York, 50% of what is recycled ends up in a landfill. I bet the same is true for the bottles you toss, so clean 'em first.

Here is a lovely article about the two-decade friendship between Tina Fey and Amy Poehler. They will be costarring in a new movie, Sisters, coming soon to a theater near you. 
Warm Video of the Season

Malekai, a nine year old superstar, sings, cries, and nails it during a competition. Guaranteed to warm your heart.
  Setting the Stage for a Holiday Full of Cheer

       Rather than checking names off a list, maxing out your credit cards, and rushing from one event or store to another, give yourself the opportunity to do something different this year while there is still time. Plan ahead!

        Start now with the planning but first acknowledge any emotions you have about the holidays. Maybe you've lost a loved one in the past year. Maybe you're financially pinched. Maybe you've already agreed to host the relatives you find most annoying. Take a few minutes to have that good cry, shiver out the fear, or pound out any anger.

       Then you can get over the pitfalls and install the reality in your head  - this is a wonderful occasion to commit to generating oodles of joy, love, and peace. One of my favorite truths to keep repeating is "I love you." This offsets all my petty thinking. It's so versatile. I can be walking down the street and apply it to all that I pass. I can think it while I'm writing my holiday cards. I can use it anytime.

        Another good reminder is that it's the season to give selflessly. This means you can increase the amount of love you feel by giving without expectations, without the need for reciprocation, and without needing the gesture to be appreciated. Selfless giving is opposite the anger core attitude of self-centeredness, where we believe that the world revolves around us and we feel separate and isolated from others. Giving without a selfish motive generates love because genuine giving is one of the four core attitudes associated with the emotion of love. It just makes us feel good.

                              "Read the card! Read the card!" 
Loving Ways to Truly Give

Good gift giving takes some forethought. Get out your planner and designate when you'll partake in every aspect of the holidays so you don't work yourself into a last minute frenzy. Here are some tips about ways you can make your holiday giving truly memorable:

1. When writing your cards, reflect on something you appreciate about the person and express that.

2. Make a list of who you want to give a gift to. Then one at a time put yourself in their shoes and decide what would be meaningful for him or her.

3. Ask yourself "How can I impact others in a positive way?" Maybe find a cause to volunteer to help, such as visiting a hospital, serving dinner at a shelter, or collecting toys for those less fortunate. Volunteering is an easy way to put your concerns about your life on the back burner and get perspective about the larger picture and the joy of the season.

4. Consider giving something homemade like they did in the "old days." Bake something, write a poem, make a video, put together some photos, give gift certificates for future outings or chores you'll do, or get crafty and make something.

5. Give gratitudes, appreciations, or kind words about how you feel about your friendship or the person's actions, attitudes, or personality.

6. The idea is to stay present so you bask in the spirit of the season. Focus on the activity of the moment, open your heart, and enjoy the love.

"Why, this is fit for me."

Hey Jude!

You talk about how it's so important what we think and say when we are expressing our emotions physically. Can you elaborate on this?
When crying, pounding, or shivering it is essential not to voice any victim or blaming statements, such as "I'm unlovable" or "He's such a jerk." These kinds of sentiments only increase your sadness, anger, or fear. It's best to keep your thinking constructive by naming what you are feeling, such as "I feel so angry, angry, angry" "It's okay. It's only an emotion;" make primal sounds; or think the reality, "That's what he did. I've got to accept the fact that he did that, because he did!"

You can also use your thoughts to conjure up specific unresolved upsets, such as feeling how unfair a situation was when dealing with childhood memories. With the specific situation in mind, you can repeatedly shout or think "No" if you didn't or couldn't speak up at the time, or "Yes" if you need to accept what seems unacceptable.

You'll find the negative emotion will rapidly flee your body, to be replaced by its opposite -- joy, love, or peace! 

Thanks for reading this newsletter. If you have any feedback, suggestions about a newsletter theme, or general comments, I enjoy hearing from you, so write me at:

I'm wishing you much love and a happy Holiday full of giving and receiving!