I heard an interesting theory a few days ago... "Egoism is the root of all conflict in the world." Intuitively that makes perfect sense. Conflict stems from the belief that one person or group possesses superior knowledge and that they have the right to impose their views on others. This righteousness sets the stage for a "you vs. me" mentality that leads to feelings of separateness. Differences are accentuated and vilified and we are ready and willing to fight for our way.  In the process our similarities, our humanness, and what we all share in common gets lost in the mix.

I received a special request to cover the topic of "Ego" in the newsletter. In order to find a jumping off point, I checked a wide variety of Internet dictionaries. I was surprised to find the distinctions between EGOISM, EGOTISM, and EGOTISTIC. This is what I found...

EGOISM is the habit of valuing everything only in reference to one's personal interest; selfishness, indifferent to the well-being of others.

EGOTISTIC is a person excessively conceited or absorbed in oneself; self-centered.

EGOTISM is excessive and objectionable reference to oneself in conversation or writing; conceit; boastfulness.

So first off, I can say that the person who requested this topic surely would not be considered having EGOTISM. She's a gal, who has found herself in the role of caretaker in her husband's later and declining years. I think she's grappling with feelings of guilt when she puts herself first. She's certainly not conceited or boastful, nor is she full of excessive references to herself.

Let's translate egotistic into the Attitude Reconstruction model. There are four core attitudes associated with the emotion of anger. First, is a tendency to focus outside yourself onto other people, things, and situations. Second, you don't accept these people, things and situations the way they are. Third, you judge the differences between yourself and others negatively, focusing on what you don't like. And fourth, you believe if others could just see things the way you do and agree (you being right and superior), then things would be hunky-dory. Attitude number four is completely self-centered, another word for egotistical.