Sleep facts and the secret to getting a good night sleep

We all know it's important to get a good night's sleep. Being well rested is vital to our productivity and value at work. Missing even an hour can have a clear effect on our ability to focus.  

Prescription sleeping pills are supposed to be for short time use but often people ignore the warnings. Researchers found people who over used prescription sleeping aids were nearly five times as likely to die over a 2½ year period than non users. Other side effects include sleep-eating, sleep-driving, and especially next day grogginess. 

Most of the Americans who regularly take sleeping pills are educated females over 50, according to the National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey (source).

5% of over 50 females indicate they used them, compared to 3.1%  men. Authors of this research speculate it's because women are often juggling two full time jobs - work and family.

Use of sleeping pills apparently also increases with age, as 7% of people over 80 reported using them.

In total, about 59 million sleeping pills were prescribed in 2012. That's a staggering amount of people and drugs (and a staggering amount of money going to the pharmaceutical companies who produce them).

THE BEST THING TO DO WHEN YOU CAN'T SLEEP

But there's a better way. Here are suggestions for getting that great night's sleep you need in order to be productive and happy. 

1. Shake and Shiver.

Not being able to sleep is related to having too many unexpressed emotions, especially fear. We experience fear as feeling overwhelmed, anxious, confused, or stressed. Once we realize that fear is a pure physical sensation and deal with it on a physical level, we can move that energy right out of our bodies, allowing ourselves and our mind and spirit to calm down.

Think about it: What does a dog do when it's scared? It shivers, quivers and trembles. And children: if they're scared they tremble, if they're cold, they shiver. It's the same when we deal with a traumatic event or bad news. Our hands become shaky and we shudder uncontrollably. Our stomach clenches up, or we feel paralyzed. The stress and fear we experience is triggering our primitive survival instincts, and our body is reacting naturally.

We need to allow our bodies to do what is natural. I know most people resist this idea. We like to "keep it together." Or maybe the idea of shaking away the fear seems too simple. But in my 30-plus years as a psychotherapist, seeing tons of clients, I've found that this cure really works. So give it a try.

Ridiculous as it sounds, peel yourself out of bed (or do it before getting into bed), get up, and shiver, quiver, tremble and shudder. It takes less than two minutes. Shudder up your spine, out your arms and hands, down your legs, and around your neck. Do it hard, fast, and with abandon. Really get into it. Feeling inhibited? Make sounds--squeal, whine. Think, "It's okay. I just feel scared. Everything will be all right."

Want to see how to "shiver" your fears away before bedtime? Watch a one-minute video here. Give it a wholehearted try. Much to your amazement, you'll find your body and mind will finally relax. I'll bet you drift right off to a good night of sleep.

OTHER SUGGESTIONS TO GET SOME SLEEP

Here are 5 more suggestions for improving your ability to sleep:

2. Shut It Down.

At least a half an hour before bedtime, stop all your focused stimulating activity. Shut down those computers. Turn off the television news and scary shows.  

3. Lighten Up.  

Don't have a big meal or a large amount of food less than two hours before you go to bed. A piece of fruit or a glass of milk is alright, but that's it. Keep it light.

4. Write It Out. 

Prone to lying awake, mulling over tasks for the days and weeks ahead? Write it down and get it out. A half an hour before bedtime, make a to-do list. That way, it's down on paper and out of your head, and you won't be preoccupied with it. Then put it aside, and instead of counting sheep, repeat over and over: "I'll do what I can, and the rest is out of my hands. Now is the time for sleep."

5. Make It Sweet.

Create your own pre-bedtime ritual, something sweet and relaxing. Make a list of 11 things you appreciated about the day, or listen to calming music. Take a warm bath or sit in a Jacuzzi. Or, get out the kinks with simple, easy stretches. You'll feel soothed, and ready for delicious, revitalizing sleep.

6. Strive for Balance. 

Exercising regularly keeps your body functioning well. So make sure you're making time to move during the day. And learn to handle what's on your plate in a timely manner so you can arrive at a balance between under activity and overwork, and feel both content in your social life and fulfilled in your work life. 

Hey Jude,

My partner and I often have our ugliest, least productive arguments when one of us is tired. How can I stop us from going over the cliff?

Emotionally charged conversations are demanding, so you need the best conditions to handle them successfully.