News from Jude Bijou and Attitude Reconstruction™


More Joy, Love, and Peace in 2014 please!

Attitiude Reconstruction  

January 2014

About Peace
Four Tips to Increase Peace
Shivering Video
Mapping Emotions in Our Body
Hey Jude!
Jude Bijou

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        KIND WORDS

A radio host's appreciation of Jude as a guest:

"FABULOUS radio show last night. I really enjoyed Jude, she's wonderful and her book is terrific. The listener response has been extremely positive...  I appreciate Jude sharing her time with me and my listening audience to make last evening's show a great success!"

Click to hear our interview  

A newsletter reader's Insight


Hi Jude, I just wanted to say how much I enjoy your newsletters.  You always have a lot of gems in them.  A lot of tools already mapped out and EASY to use. 


A couple of months back, I really had an aha moment when you wrote, "Whenever we criticize ourselves, we compound the issue. We turn one problem into two."


That was like OMG.


Then I read there's the social blunder, a poor financial decision or a disapproving glance in the mirror (Yes, I'm guilty!!!!) and the demeaning self-loathing that follows.


I said to myself, "Whoa----I need tools!!!"


Then sure enough, you said "identify your self-loathing statement and find what contradicts it. From your list of Reliable Truths, I picked: I'm doing the best I can  We all make mistakes. Life is for learning.


And repeating these phrases really works to readjust my attitude.


About Attitude Reconstruction

Attitude Reconstruction offers both practical tools for happiness and a unified theory of human behavior. Integrating our emotions, feelings, thoughts, speech, and actions, Jude Bijou has discovered twelve core attitudes which create and perpetuate sadness, anger, and fear. She also uncovered twelve opposite core attitudes which are associated with the emotions of  joy, love, and peace.

Jude gives frequent radio interviews, writes articles for online and print media, pens a twice weekly blog, and sends out a monthly newsletter.  She writes and talks on a broad variety of topics, from business to relationships, and from personal growth to child rearing practices.

Jude Bijou MA MFT is a respected psychotherapist, professional educator, and workshop leader. Her multi-award winning book is a practical and spiritual handbook to help you create the life you desire.   


Happy 2014 Friends!


       This month's theme is not how to keep those New Year's resolutions you made a couple of weeks back. Maybe next month. This month the topic is
PEACE, the third emotion that we all strive for. What does peace really mean? It means we are out of our heads and fully in the present, enjoying and participating in what's happening right now. 
       If peace seems like a foreign concept, it's time to chop away on your fear-based attitudes. Rather than give in to worry, overwhelm, anxiety, and a negative running mental commentary, read on. 

        But before we delve into the topic of peace, in other news, 2014 is starting with a splash. Both "Jude Bijou" and "Attitude Reconstruction" got added to Wikipedia! Click to check out Jude in Wikipedia and Attitude Reconstruction in Wikipedia.


                                                   About Peace    

When we experience peace we relish the present moment and see life in terms of specifics. We feel safe, trusting, and connected to the planet. It's as simple as that. 


Four Tips to Create Peace


Since "peace" is the opposite of "fear" it makes sense that if you deal with the fear, peace will be nearby.   


People whose most dominant emotion is fear are easy to recognize. In general, we are the "speedy ones," focused on time and money. We feel that there's never enough. We tend to be worriers - scattered, confused, overwhelmed, dramatic, panicky, or controlling. If you ask us, we will tell you that peace is something that's elusive.  


Here are four ways to easily decrease fear and increase peace, according to Attitude Reconstruction.  


1. Shiver the fear out of your body rather than tightening up. 

Emotions are just pure physical sensation in your body. So allow yourself to physiologically express the fear you feel rather than tightening up. When I feel nervous, jumpy, agitated, or my mind is racing a million miles an hour, I let my body do what's natural. I vigorously shiver, shudder, and shake all over, like a dog at the veterinarian. Though it can seem weird, silly, or contrived at first to jiggle, shiver, tremble, and let my knees knock, I almost immediately feel more relaxed, centered, and able to focus. When I can't sleep at night, need to return a scary telephone call, or make a presentation, I duck into the bathroom, shiver for just a minute or two, and remind myself: "It's okay to feel scared. I just need to shiver." The result is almost miraculous. This one simple activity restores  calm and brings me back to the present. Give it a try!


2. Interrupt thoughts about the future and past, and avoid over-generalizations.

To keep things manageable and in perspective, keep bringing yourself back to the present. And be specific about the concerns at hand, rather than generalizing about your whole life, your relationship history, your character, the world, and so on. The words "always" and "never" fuel fear. Likewise, bringing other unresolved issues into the specific topic you're grappling with is like putting gasoline on the barbecue. It makes reaching a satisfactory resolution nearly impossible. I highly recommend that, over and over, you tell yourself reassuring things. Many times a day, repeat whichever of these phrases will be most supportive: "Everything will be all right. Everything is all right. One thing at a time. Everything is unfolding in its own time. I'll handle the future in the future. Be here now. Stay specific."


3. Break big projects into a series of simple little pieces, and attend to one thing at a time.
The key to managing fear and life's tasks is to take the time daily to get organized. For each task you need to accomplish, start by articulating your goal. With that in mind, break the goal into a series of little doable steps. Make each step small enough so you know you can do it. If you keep an ongoing list of exactly what needs to be done by when, you can evaluate what's most important and essential for today. I put my to-do list in an obvious place by the computer so I can see it. Then I just do what's next, and offer myself copious praise for each small victory.


4. In terms of lifestyle choices, strive to establish a regular, more relaxing routine.
Get more sleep. Don't miss meals. Cut down on the coffee and energy drinks. Stay out of cold, damp, and drafty places. Reduce the amount of stimulation you expose yourself to. You'll feel better if you spend time engaging in less frightening or anxiety-producing activities, situations, movies, or games, and more time doing relaxing things, such as gentle walks, watching sunsets, and listening to calming music.


By following just a few of these simple suggestions - take little baby steps and shiver whenever agitation comes knocking. I'm certain you'll soon find that you enjoy whatever your day brings, and you're able participate with more humor, ease, and equanimity.

            Mapping Emotions and Feelings in the Body

I found this fascinating article recently! Researchers in Finland did a study and came up with infrared body mapping, based on where people reported the sensation of an emotion. Here's a visual of the results.


To read an article about this study, click here.


Hey Jude,

What should I do when I am afraid and panicking?

The best thing to do is to shiver out the fear like crazy and reassure yourself by repeatedly and diligently saying something along the lines of:

Everything will be all right. Everything is all right. I can handle this.

When you calm down, take a few deep breaths, identify what the trigger is/was, and attend to that.


Hey Jude,

You say that all our problems stem from unexpressed sadness, anger, or fear. What are the basic steps to recognize those emotions and turn them into joy, love, and peace?


To figure out what emotion you are feeling follow these 4 steps:


1. Determine what physical sensation you are feeling in your body. 


       Heavy and slow = Sadness   

Hot and wanting to strike out = Anger

Cold and agitated = Fear   


2. Do something to move the energy out of your body physically, such as crying, stomping or pounding something inanimate, or shivering all up and down your spine and out your limbs.


3.  Now, from this new perspective, look within and ask yourself what you need to do to take action and move forward.


4.  Take that action!  


Wishing you abundant joy, love, and peace throughout the coming year.