News from Jude Bijou and Attitude Reconstruction™

Experience More Joy, Love, and Peace in 2013!

Attitiude Reconstruction

December 2013

IN THIS ISSUE

How to Increase Love in Your Life

3 Videos that Inspire

Dealing with Annoying People Lovingly

Anger Attitudes and Loving Solutions

Jude Bijou

++++++++++++++++++

New blog posted every Tuesday and Friday!

+++++++++++++++++++++

Buy the Book

Attitude Reconstruction

Buy eBook

33 Bad Attitudes and What You Can Do With Them

$2.99

Inspiration & Tips

              UPCOMING CLASS
JANUARY 25, 2014 -- SATURDAY
                9:30am -- 430pm
310 West Pueblo Santa Barbara CA
                      Room 3
                Cost is $30.00

An appreciation about Attitude Reconstruction

I was checking out at Costco and a gal came up to me and said she had been a client years ago, kissed me on the cheek and said how much I had helped her create the wonderful life she was now living.

An appreciation about the Book

I am amazed at how much I am learning from your book... That may sound funny, but having been in the personal growth field for 30 years both learning and teaching, I thought I knew all this stuff, LOL."

-- Marie

About Attitude Reconstruction

Attitude Reconstruction offers both practical tools for happiness and a unified theory of human behavior. Integrating our emotions, feelings, thoughts, speech, and actions, Jude Bijou has discovered twelve core attitudes which create and perpetuate sadness, anger, and fear. She also uncovered twelve opposite core attitudes which are associated with the emotions of joy, love, and peace.

Jude gives frequent radio interviews, writes articles for online and print media, pens a twice weekly blog, and sends out a monthly newsletter. She writes and talks on a broad variety of topics, from business to relationships, and from personal growth to child rearing practices.

Jude Bijou MA MFT is a respected psychotherapist, professional educator, and workshop leader. Her multi-award winning book is a practical and spiritual handbook to help you create the life you desire.

Purchase
Attitude Reconstruction: A Blueprint for Building a Better

at Amazon or on Jude's website, as a paperback or ebook.

www.attitudereconstruction.com.

Appreciation about Attitude Reconstruction

I was checking out at Costco and a gal came up to me, said she had been a client years ago, kissed me on the cheek, and said how much I had helped her create the wonderful life she was now living.

Appreciation about the Book

-- Marie

Season's Greetings Friends

This month's newsletter revolves around love and how to generate more of it in your life. My suggestion for having a wonderful holiday season is to keep remembering what it's really about. And that is experiencing and spreading joy, love, and peace. If we keep our eyes on the goal, then we can choose not get too caught up in buying the gifts, eating the candy, drinking the booze, or being the naysayer.

But first... A mid-sized bird I'd never seen before perched itself on my fountain a couple of days ago. There it was, repeatedly dipping the left side of its head onto the cool, wet surface. Over and over. (It reminded me of Linda Ronstadt, whom I heard say in the hot summer days in Tucson Arizona, she would go down to the basement and press her face on the concrete floor to cool down.)

But I think it's more like splashing your face when you get dirt in your eye. Maybe it had an eye infection. Maybe it was bit by a bug. Maybe it had a fetish or tic. I'll never know, but I'm guessing I was witnessing that birdie doing some natural self-healing.

How to Increase Love in your LIfe

You've heard the trite expression "love is an inside job." I have to believe it, because given the same situation, every person will have a different experience. For the ones with full hearts, their experience will be glorious. For the ones who are impatient, holding a grudge or feeling bad about themselves, love will be colored by those flavors. The key is to remember we are indeed masters of our own destinies and have choice at every moment. Whether we chose to give into our woundings or come from our highest knowing is up to us.
Do you ever wonder what traits truly loving folks have in common? According to Attitude Reconstruction they have four. First, they speak and

act aligned with their heart. Second, they genuinely accept other people, things, and situations. Third, they are not judgmental but show compassion and empathy to all. And last, they are not selfish but give to others without a personal motive except to show others they care and offer help. In addition, loving people are positive and strive to find solutions to differences that best honor everyone concerned.

Most of us already possess some of these loving attitudes to some degree. If you recognize some qualities that you are lacking and are yearning for them, you don't have to make a complete transformation before tomorrow. Just take a little step each day and you will notice the difference.

Here are six easy ways to increase feelings of love:

1. Eleven times a day (or more) repeat: "People and situations are the way they are, not the way I want them to be."

Your expectations and lack of acceptance of other people, things, and situations are what is keeping you feeling angry. Instead, over and over, remind yourself that people and things are the way they are. Only then will you be able to respond to whatever opportunity is presenting itself from a centered place. You don't have to agree. Just accept that that's what is true for them.

2. Stop focusing on what's lacking in others, and what they are or aren't doing.

Look within to determine what would be most loving or best for the greater good. Decline an offer for an extra job. Hold your tongue. Go home earlier. Say something nice. Ask yourself: "What's true for me about this? What would be most loving?" Line up to do that.

3. Give more.

The act of giving contradicts the tendency to be selfish or self-centered - a stance that goes hand in hand with unexpressed anger. Ask: "How can I help? What can I do?" Offer a helping hand. Offer gifts. These acts of kindness will kindle your heart.

4. Voice to yourself and others appreciations, praise, and gratitudes.

Look for the good in people and attend to the half full of any situation. Write out appreciations, especially about people you are having difficulty with. Religiously interrupt your trashy thinking and replace it with something positive.

5. Find a way to move your anger physically and constructively, so that no one or no thing of value is damaged.

Without voicing any blaming or swearing, pound clay or bread dough. Throw rocks. Yank out weeds with abandon. Stomp around. Push against a wall or doorjamb. Lie on your back on your bed and flail your arms and legs. Exercise. Do something somewhere safe, where you can let go and express the energy hard, fast, and with abandon. If you express your anger energy physically and constructively, you'll be too tired to fight! End your healthy meltdown by reminding yourself, "People are the way they are, not the way I want them to be."

6. Minimize hot foods (yep), hot sun, hot topics, hot exercise, hot activities, and violent movies, games, and books.

Choose activities that are cooling, climates that are cooler, foods that aren't spicy, and avoid stimulants, such as alcohol, nicotine, caffeine and energy drinks.

Do a little every day, and you'll feel more love and feel more connected to others. As well, others will be much more attracted to you.

These three videos are worthy of a gander.

This first video about soldiers returning home is guaranteed to increase feelings of love. Grab your hankie!

In case you missed it in last month's newsletter, this video of Jake Andraka which appeared on a 60 Minutes segment recently vividly demonstrates unbridled joy.

Here's a demonstration of how to deal with your anger because anger is the opposite of love. To experience copious waves of love, pound out your anger energy. Here's a short little video of how it's done. Boy does it feel good. In couples psychotherapy sessions in my office, when both people get rid of some of their anger physically and constructively, they can easily get in touch with their love and can together solve almost any problem quite elegantly.

Hey Jude,

How can I handle annoying people during holiday gatherings so I feel the love?

Around the holidays, I often hear clients voice versions of these common complaints: "My mother-in-law will try to take over the kitchen," or "My know-it-all sister always has a better way to do things," or "My relatives ask pointed questions about my job/relationship/finances." Sound familiar?

Here are seven ways to handle people who are rude, critical,

controlling, nosy, or insensitive during holiday gatherings so you and all can experience more love.

Check out some Attitude Reconstruction articles on a variety of topics

Check out some recent Attitude Reconstruction podcasts and radio interviews

In part three of the book Attitude Reconstruction, I list these 11 anger attitudes and offers simple solutions to transform them so you can experience more love. Here they are in a nutshell.

Anger Attitudes Solutions

1. Blaming	Come back to yourself.
2. Frustrated	Accept what is.
3. Resigned	Abandon unfounded hopes.
4. Pessimistic	Accentuate the positive.
5. Judgmental	See unity beyond differences.
6. Defensive	Apologize.
7. Betrayed	Forgive others.
8. Ungrateful	Offer "gratitudes."
9. Opinionated	Empathize.
10. Egotistic	Give selflessly.
11. Meanspirited	Deal with injustices and violations.

Wishing you abundant joy, love, and peace every day this holiday season.

Cheers,
Jude