News from Jude Bijou and Attitude Reconstruction™


Experience More Joy, Love, and Peace in 2013!

Attitiude Reconstruction  

October 2013

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Happiness is Trending
7 Ways to Get Happier
Are You Coming up Short?
Jude Bijou
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About Jude Bijou MFT


The daughter of pioneering behavioral child psychologist Sidney W. Bijou, Jude Bijou earned a BA from Reed College and an MA in psychology from Carleton University. She is a licensed marriage and family therapist in private practice in Santa Barbara CA, a teacher of communication through Santa Barbara City College Adult Education, and a longtime student of Indian Vedic philosophy. Her theory of Attitude Reconstruction™ evolved from years of working with clients to help them lead more happy, fulfilled lives. Her first book, Attitude Reconstruction: A Blueprint for Building a Better Life, has won numerous awards and is receiving rave reviews. Her new ebook is 33 Bad Attitudes and What You Can Do With Them.
Love letter about Attitude Reconstruction

I am so impressed with Attitude Reconstruction. It is obvious this author put her heart and soul into this amazing work. What I love the most about this book is how practical and applicable it is. Anyone could benefit greatly from the suggestions and ideas in this book. I've had some revelations from reading this. I completely understand some things that I didn't before. I saw myself in some of her descriptions of attitudes and behaviors and how they come to be, and I found that to be a real eye opener. Another great attribute of this book is how very thorough it is and I loved the authors friendly, upbeat style of writing. This book not only covers the range of emotions and behaviors and how to best deal with them, but also addictive habits, getting "unstuck" and some really helpful information on goals and accomplishing them with ease, it truly covers it all. Attitude Reconstruction is an impressive reference tool that includes an amazing Blueprint that quickly helps to identify negative attitudes and their opposites. My favorite part though is the Quick Charts to Remodel 33 Attitudes which gives you the tools to quickly move out of your negative emotional state, and get back to the Ultimate Attitudes of Joy, Love and Peace. Thank you to the author for writing such an outstanding book!

 KB (Arizona) 

Greetings Friends


Imagine spending 20 years to find the right name for something. That's how long I spent seeking a title for my book. I considered every possibility and collected suggestions from a ton of creative and wacky people. During that time, the word "happiness" never rang my bell, mostly because it seems like a vanilla catch-all phrase. So I played with using the words joy, love, and peace because they name three of our six emotions, and emotions are 
are the basis of Attitude Reconstruction.   

In the end, I decided against putting happiness or joy, love, and peace in the title because it seems too holiday-ish, too new age, and words that people seem to dismiss as pie-in-the-sky notions.


Long story short, the popularity of the word happiness persists and as a matter of fact is on an upswing if anything. There are of course, "happy meals" from McDonalds, happiness the promise of drinking a Coke, and happiness in countless book names and article titles.


I must digress because I suggest you watch this fabulous Coke video. They spend a ton of cash and really put out a bundle of great ads, with humans as well as polar bears.

               click here 

As you will see in this newsletter, I can and have been talking "happiness" as well as the next person. However, I make an important distinction between happiness and joy, love, and peace. I think happiness is a general term that indicates that you feel good. Joy, love, and peace are emotions -- pure physical measurable sensations you experience in your body. According to Attitude Reconstruction there are simple things you can do to reliably produce these three emotions and create more of what you're truly seeking -- happiness.


In this newsletter I'm going to give you Attitude Reconstruction's take on

First, there is a great article in Inc. Magazine that Minda Zetlin wrote after interviewing me.                


Also, there is an article by yours truly in MindBodyGreen, a great site that covers a variety of neat topics. GovernmentExecutive featured an article as well. (They especially need some tips during this stressful time.)

And soon to appear in US News and World Report is an article about how to be happier in the work place.

In addition to these articles, here are 7 simple and effective things that you can do to increase joy, love, and peace, aka happiness. Pick one and give it a whirl!




1. Do things to keep in touch with who you truly are.

What can you do? Write down two things you appreciate about yourself every day for a week and at the end of the week, read your list out loud. Stop beating yourself up. Identify the demeaning chatter you repeatedly tell yourself, and interrupt it whenever you hear yourself thinking it. Substitute a contradiction that affirms who you are, such as I'm whole and complete or I'm doing the best I can.


2.    Do things for others.

Give without wanting or expecting anything in return. Offer to assist a work mate who has too much to do. Cook a meal for a friend or acquaintance who just had surgery. Help a friend carry a heavy load. Give strangers or loved ones an appreciation. 


3.  Do something you love or do a new activity.

If singing, dancing, playing music, painting, surfing, or yoga bring you joy, do that. Or learn a new skill. Join an exercise class, learn to cook, pick up a musical instrument and take some lessons. Mastering some new endeavor feels really good. 


4.  Do reach out to a friend.

Think of a fun activity and make a date to do something you both enjoy. Go to a museum. Go on a hike. Fix a meal. Plan and take a road trip together. 


5.  Do things for the planet and universe.

Volunteer to help out a non-profit organization with a mission you believe in. Assist in executing a fund-raiser. Or spend some time writing or voicing all the things you are grateful for. Go to an area recovering from a natural disaster and help out. 


6.  Do things for your environment.

Connect to where you live. Participate in a beach or community clean up. Garden. Recycle your old electronics. Get rid of unused items in your closet and give them to an organization in need. 


7.   Do express your love or appreciation to a loved one.

Whether it's a parent, child, relative, or friend, write a card, call on the phone, or send a text conveying to them what you appreciate about them. Write a poem. Give a small token or some flowers.


                                    Watercolor by Tom Hoerber





Check out some Attitude Reconstruction articles on a variety of topics 

Check out some recent Attitude Reconstruction podcasts and radio interviews 


Hey Jude:

I compare myself to my husband's ex-wife, who died a few years ago of breast cancer, and what a wonderful life they had together. I find myself measuring whether or not I come up short, and judging myself for those differences.  


There are two main points I'd like to make about this familiar issue.


The first important point is stop measuring yourself. When two people come together in a relationship, each brings different things. One may bring some tangible things, such as money, status, knowledge of art, love of dancing, music, or travel and one may bring some intangibles, such as stability, a sense of adventure, or a great perspective of the world. You need to focus on getting clear about all of the positive things you bring to the relationship and do them today, rather than measuring yourself as coming up short because you can't provide what someone else might have in the past.


The second thing is that you, like most of us, you are suffering from a case of mistaken identity. If you realize that you are not what you have, do, think, etc. you can start to identify with your unchanging pure essence which is

PERFECT no matter what!  Who we are is loving awareness/pure being, not how much money we make, friends we have, experiences we've had, or our race, religion, education, or occupation.


A great truth I am using these days is by way of Ram Dass who instructs people to meditate on "I am loving awareness" (in addition to other fundamental truths).


Repeat this or whatever truth contradicts your old thinking and tell yourself 100,000 times, "I am whole and complete no matter what." or "I am not what I do. I am perfect no matter what."


Depending on your trashy self-talk, when the judging starts to play, you might relentlessly repeat to yourself, "If I knew then what I know now, I would have done it differently." and/or "Life is for learning. We all make mistakes." or "I did the best I could at the time."  



          Mykonos, Greece 

We all want to be happier. In over 30 years of counseling others, no one has ever told me they want to feel worse. Select a truth to roll around in your brain so it becomes unequivocally true. Knowing who you truly are will offer an anchor to hold on to when you get blown astray and "forget."

Let me know what was helpful for you. I enjoy hearing your comments.


Wishing you abundant joy, love, and peace.