Forgiving yourself

Recently I had an opportunity to practice forgiveness - of myself. If we're out of balance and make a mistake, it's easy to start feeling bad about ourselves. Our minds start to continually replay what we did that we regretted and produce an icky, creepy feeling inside. When this happens, there are a couple of things to do:

1.     Shiver when you think about it, and say "I forgive myself."

2.     Interrupt sinking in thoughts about what you did. Don't keep ruminating about what happened. Firmly but lovingly interrupt the chatter and forcefully tell yourself (at least eleven times) "I forgive myself." Or remember "We all make mistakes." Or that "This feeling will pass. This situation is temporary."

3.     Express any sadness, anger, or fear physically and constructively when you start to think about the "terrible" thing you did or said. Pound a pillow, stomp around, or have a cry. Shiver some more.

4.     When you get a bit of distance, look within and determine whether there is anything you need to do or say to rectify the situation or if you need to just let it go. If you need to say or do something, get clear on what it is, and then just do it.

5.     Sometimes there is nothing. In that case, look for the lesson learned, and know that we all make mistakes and we're still whole and complete. Your mantra: "I forgive myself. We all make mistakes."

5 Ways to Stop Being So Self-Critical  

Are you considering buying pajama jeans because your womanly curves yell at you in the mirror? Do you park your Camry a block away because all the other housewives drive Escalades? Got a barrage of brutal self-talk to ready-aim-fire every time you interview for a new job or go on yet another date?

Being too self-critical is epidemic in our society. It's almost a national pastime to beat ourselves up over real and imagined imperfections. We became unwitting devotees watching our parents and teachers direct their anger towards us with negative judgments and demeaning labels instead of channeling emotions in appropriate ways. Being receptive little students, we pledged allegiance to those unkind messages and internalized commitments to keep them alive. Today we know the words by heart and speak them inside without even thinking.

Whenever we criticize ourselves, we compound the issue. We turn one problem into two -- there's the social blunder, a poor financial decision or disapproving glance in the mirror -- and the demeaning self-loathing that follows.

Are you more than ready to silence the tyrant? Then try these five effective strategies to stop being self-critical when you make a mistake so you can show yourself more love:

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