News from Jude Bijou and Attitude Reconstruction™


Experience More Joy, Love, and Peace in 2013!

Attitiude Reconstruction  

July 2013
AR Survey Reveals Stress
Binge Eating
Obama Photo
Taming Work Stress
Jude Bijou
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Attitude Reconstruction

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About Jude Bijou MFT


The daughter of pioneering behavioral child psychologist Sidney W. Bijou, Jude Bijou earned a BA from Reed College and an MA in psychology from Carleton University. She is a licensed marriage and family therapist in private practice in Santa Barbara CA, a teacher of communication through Santa Barbara City College Adult Education, and a longtime student of Indian Vedic philosophy. Her theory of Attitude Reconstruction™ evolved from years of working with clients to help them lead more happy, fulfilled lives. Her first book, Attitude Reconstruction: A Blueprint for Building a Better Life, has won numerous awards and is receiving rave reviews. Her new ebook is 33 Bad Attitudes and What You Can Do With Them

Testimonials from Happy Readers...

When I get up in the middle of the night because of fear - I shiver in the bathroom and then get in bed for a good night's sleep. Attitude Reconstruction works, and I recommend your book to all who will listen.  

Deb P.


Attitude Reconstruction is one of the most helpful books I have read. Jude's model helped me learn about my emotions in new and unusual ways. I recognize my old patterns quickly and have created some useful new habits to 'let go' and deal with my emotions.  

Shelby T. 



              I have a dear friend who will be off on a five week European adventure soon. When I saw her yesterday, her eyes were crossed and her vibe was "fried" as she relayed how stressful it was coordinating all the transportation schedules and accommodations. (Mercury is in retrograde until July 20th and I'm sure that isn't helping.) She's not alone in feeling stressed these days, so it's a good theme for this newsletter.
             My wigged-out friend, being familiar with Attitude Reconstruction, said that after several hours of evening trip planning, not surprisingly, she couldn't sleep. So rather than tossing and turning, she got out of bed and shivered and shook, and then quickly drifted off to dreamland. If you have sleeping issues, give it a try. It's amazing and free.

 But first some light news...

BIRDIE UPDATE -- The crows aren't hanging around  much these days but the orioles are still going through a giant sized jar of Smuckers grape jelly in four days. I am their faithful servant, refilling the feeder throughout the day. And when those beautiful birds come for a meal or to hang out in the 
tree branches, it's always a welcome treat.  



AR Survey Confirms - We're Stressed!


             One of my projects this week was to correlate the data of 1000 people who took the Attitude Reconstruction quick questionnaire on my website recently. (Click here if you want to take the survey.) The results show the magnitude of fear, aka, stress (such as too much to do, not enough time, and I feel the pressure) in our lives today.

Of the twelve core attitudes that promote and perpetuate sadness, anger, and fear, the strongest two are associated with fear. 71.4% of people surveyed said they were in the future or past "half the time," "often," or "most of the time." That's means that less than three out of ten of the people you are interacting with are actually present! 

58.6% said they were attempting to control "half of the time" or more. Yikes. We're preoccupied and trying to hold it together, and it's causing havoc in our quality of life. View all the survey data

Another thing that substantiates the dominance of fear in our lives is that these 1000 survey participants were given an opportunity to read 3 articles about how they could balance their strongest emotion. 328 looked at the fear article, 300 read the sadness article, and 206 read the anger article.

I also found that 59% of people surveyed said that "half the time," "often," or "most of the time" are making negative judgments about themselves. (This core attitude is associated with sadness rather than fear.) Just imagine, about six out of ten of all the people that you see on a given street, mall, or restaurant at any moment are also telling themselves they are somehow not okay!
           The survey results mirror the definition of stress. We're living in the future with too much to do and not enough time, trying to control to keep it all together, and getting down on ourselves for our inability to get it all done perfectly.


Here's the short list of what to do to dissolve "stress"

1.  Shiver. It works. While shivering only think and say
     "It's okay." or "Everything will be all right."
2.  Don't entertain thoughts about everything at once.
3.  Make a list of what needs to be done and attend to
     one thing at a time.
4.  Delegate where possible.
5.  Breathe. Take a few minutes here and there to step back
     and refresh yourself.
6. Keep interrupting the inner critic and offer yourself
     appreciations. I'm doing the best I can.

Do you have some suggestions for how I can overcome compulsive/binge overeating?


Usually our addictive behavior started when we were fairly young. We needed a way to comfort ourselves because we were feeling a ton of emotions and didn't know how to handle what was going on.

So regardless of whether it's binge eating, beer drinking, porning, or picking your fingernails, when the screaming urge to say yes to your "old friend" hits, there is an effective alternative. At those crucial choice points, instead of justifying why this time is an exception and denying the good intentions you had just this morning, pause for just a second and ask yourself "Do I need to cry, pound, or shiver?"

             Then do it. Emote. Take just a couple of minutes and express whichever emotion is most accessible. If you release the pent-up emotion in a physical and constructive way at those crucial choice moments, you'll be able to make a more conscious decision.  (read more) 


A couple of weeks ago a newsletter reader requested I tell the story about the photo of Obama reading Attitude Reconstruction so here goes...


On my last trip to DC, I was invited to tea at the White House. Apparently Michelle came across a mention of my book because she read one of my articles at She ordered the book and was so taken with Attitude Reconstruction that she told Barack it was required reading. Well, as they say, the rest is history. He was reading the book as we were ushered into the Oval Office and my brother snapped the photo!

Oh, wait. I forgot, that was a dream. But it's a statement of the goal - let's apply some of these simple principles across the nation to help shift the slide towards more chaos, apathy, and craziness, and help create a more rosy and fulfilling today and tomorrow.



Spur of the moment I'm heading to the 9th annual BlogHer Conference in Chicago next week with 5000 other souls! What will I learn? What will I find? Do you want more frequent Attitude Reconstruction comments and insights?


Gail Totally Tames Her Stress At Work!

Recently I had the pleasure of seeing Gail, a midlevel manager at a big tech company. She was so pleased with herself because she had successfully shifted her driving habits. She used to be perpetually upset on the road, ranting and going on the offense against all the incompetent and dangerous drivers. With a simple shift of awareness and attitude, she realized that she was not going to be able to change how people drive. They were the way they were, and her job was to drive safely and have a pleasant time getting from point A to B.

By this simple tweak from out there to herself, and from judgment to acceptance, she finally relaxed. Now, each time she is on the road she views herself as a defensive driver and assigns herself the task of gracefully figuring out how she can be safe in her car and have a fun ride.

Gail then started to talk about her work situation and confessed that she judged the people who weren't using the resources that her team had so diligently provided. She found she responded to their requests in less than loving ways. I made the suggestion that she make work like driving so it too could become stress free. Gail jumped on the bandwagon and said her new work goal was going to be to make every interaction and request pleasant. This meant that she would be kind and take a minute before responding and find something helpful to say.

In order to make every exchange fun, she would no longer think "Oh crap" but tell herself "Oh boy, this is exactly my job and I'm excited to figure out a good solution to this problem." In interacting with her bosses, staff, and while doing her job description, Gail's new motto became "Fun. Thank you."

I hope you enjoyed this newsletter and found it helpful. Your feedback is most welcome.

I'm wishing you much joy, love, and peace.
Cheers,   Jude