Communication affects every aspect of our lives, from the ways we interact with others to the way we understand ourselves. Rarely do I encounter someone whose parents were good communicators. So it's no wonder we lack the skills to communicate effectively, especially when emotions are flying around.

Last Saturday I taught my Communication Class here in Santa Barbara through the City College Adult Ed. This class is always super well-received because I keep lecture time to a minimum, allowing maximum opportunity for participants to apply the principles with each other. Only by practicing the rules in a non-threatening manner can people truly start to own these simple-but-not-easy concepts.

At the end of this last class, each person expressed the most salient thing they learned. Overwhelmingly, it was to speak about oneself, your "I," rather than focusing on others and "youing." (Sticking to your "I" is the first Communication Rule.) Other concepts that rang true were: the importance of listening without giving advice (Rule#4), staying specific and only addressing one topic at a time (Rule #2 and a favorite of mine), matadoring the "yous" that come your way, and when speaking up, to repeat their "I" about a specific at least three times with love before abandoning ship.

In other kind of news, I recently attended a healing event in Los Angeles with Dr. Isaam Nemeh. Among other things, I was given a huge gift of a new reliable truth "HAVE FAITH!" Dr. Nemeh talked about the importance of faith, and that faith is belief without seeing. That definition is so great. I am pleased with this new mantra "HAVE FAITH!" It's the perfect phrase to revert to when my mind starts to chatter about what I should do in the future and doubts arise what I did in the past. It's much better to hold an attitude of faith than to get derailed by my worst case scenarios. Give it a try!

Thanks to all who entered the drawing for the ten free Attitude Reconstruction laminated blueprints. I loved packing each one up in a tidy tube with a custom sticker. I'm delighted they'll have new homes and be helpful to others, because that's my mission this time on the planet. When I think about my job of spreading the practical wisdom of Attitude Reconstruction, it feels like I hit the lottery. I get the same feeling when I'm interviewed on the radio because I get to share something so intuitively correct and valuable with the audience, whether they live in Canada, Miami, New York, Montana, or Washington state.

How can I tell the difference between intuition and perspective?

Intuition comes from within. It's what you know when you're quiet and still. It's an inner knowing, whether it's about what to eat for dinner, where to stay when traveling, or whether it's time apologize for a mistake you made. Perspective comes from using your mind to provide a bigger picture of what is happening. Broadening your perspective helps you get out of your "me me me" thinking but if you want total confidence in a decision, you'll need to run it by your inner traffic light to be sure you get a green, rather than a red or yellow one. You do know. You just have to pause and listen. Then comes the tricky part: holding on to and acting on what you know when you're clear, rather than succumbing to the "maybe this, maybe that" doubts that arise.