Readers Write
Essay 7/18/14: Survival of the Fattest
Mel Blumenthal, Plano, TX:
It's as if we -- you and I -- lived parallel lives. I certainly do understand the survival of the fittest comparison. Your essays are brilliant, though I doubt that they would be much appreciated in this climate, by which I do not mean the heat.
Barbara Albers, Las Cruces, NM:
I loved your essay. Painful as it might be, I so remember the "fat days" and longed for the leans ones just to feel what???? Something other than left out. Nice to tiptoe through the tulips and growing up. Thank you.
Fr. Thomas Jackson, Tyler, TX:
Wonderful. Thanks for some painful/glorious memories.
Roger J. Hudak, Bethlehem, PA:
I enjoy your essays and agree with you on occasion. I taught high school for 32 years in a high school in Pennsylvania. Our ninth grade English Honors section was required to read Golding's Lord of the Flies that you mentioned in your essay. It was a chance for me to help my scholars fully explore the world of symbolism, allegory, and adapt the story to their own preparations for life. The message of the book is that we must realize our enemy is within. And there is hope -- sort of. Had the boys not been rescued, mankind would die out (no girls). Yet a warship rescued them. That says it all. My kids loved this book and through it, I was able to have the most satisfying experience as a teacher when you can see the lights in their eyes go on and the aha! moment came upon them. Understanding that heart of darkness within each of us gives us a ray of hope in a very scary world.
Michael Howard, Palm Springs, CA:
Dale Carnegie's business practice ideas indicate that doing unto others as you would like them to do for you has positive results all around. There are no guarantees; some people you treat well may treat you very poorly.
Megan Walters, London W8 7NG, GB:
If it is true what they say, "What doesn't kill one, makes one strong," then you must be strong in ways that you would not be had you not gone through the experiences you recount. Your Sunday school teacher probably would have understood more than you credit her for. Many, many of us find ourselves put down and out by boors as you describe, people who think they are the centre of everything, which they are not. Thank you for sharing your memories. They are teachable.
John Bennison, Walnut Creek, CA:
It seems to me self-survival, even self-promotion, does not always have to come at the expense of another. And one does not necessarily have to surrender one's self in order to advance another's best interest. Rather than a relationship based on a principle of scarcity and self-deprivation, I suspect the deeper wisdom of the likes of Violet Aemisegger, Hillel or even the Galilean sage (e.g. the poor young rich man who went away deflated) aimed higher with the notion of ironic abundance. Presumably, the more you give, the more you get. And conversely, the more you get, the more you have the opportunity that comes with the capacity to give. In the end, the Golden Rule is meant to be a balanced equation, not a bartered exchange. Unfortunately, human nature being what it is, we seem all too willing to let simple greed get the better of us, and upset the balance.
Fred Fenton, Concord, CA:
I, too, was a fat boy, and still struggle with my weight. However, I took a different approach to bullies. I let them know that messing with me would cost them something, perhaps a broken tooth. This was my father's philosophy, a fight to the death, or extinction, approach to life. I survived but without dating until I graduated from an all-boys school and was on my way to college. I suppose mine was just a different form of adaptive behavior in which the Golden Rule played no part. President Obama is criticized for not making foreign powers fear our military intervention. He has been trying to keep us from another disastrous war. Is that the best approach, or should we be risking war by sending missiles instead of ground troops to show we cannot be ignored? I think Hillary Clinton's Smart Power approach is best. It relies on defense, diplomacy, and development. In other words, love when you can, fight when you must, and don't let the ridicule of the scornful stop you from being the best person or nation you can be.
Tracey Martin, Southfield, MI:
Interesting interpretation. Parallels Dawkins' "selfish gene." The notion that all human behavior is centered on, grounded in, self interest. Even "altruism." Otherwise, we do not, indeed, survive.
Thomas Stephenson, Philadelphia, PA: Yours must have been an interesting childhood and even more interesting teen years. You probably speak for a lot of us who went through the pain and strain of those times. I know I fought back, and got my a_ _ kicked every time. I think you outfoxed your tormentors, which makes you smarter than they ever were. Good going.
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