Readers Write
Essay 4/4/14: Nobody Else's Business
Cathy Petrolje, Zeeland, MI:
Could not let this essay of yours go unanswered, I believe that the Bible is the one and only true way. I believe that Christ died for my sins and yours, and will sometime be with him in eternity. My belief is that marriage is only between a man and a woman. If a woman should be able to have an abortion than maybe they should think twice about what they are doing and use preventive measures when engaging in sexual relations. With all your knowledge you could be doing so much out there in bringing the lost souls and others to the Christian faith, without faith we would be nowhere in this world. Sometimes in your essays you just use big words instead of speaking to everyone.
Laren S. Jones, Mooresville, NC:
I could not agree with you more! The only reason to object to gay/lesbian marriage is to separate them from society and deny them the benefits of marriage that heterosexuals share. I should think that including gays and lesbians into a stable union would be a plus and not a negative. To include gays and lesbians in the institution of legal marriage would wipe some of the stigma and shame that many associate them with. I do not regard being gay as a choice, but Mother Nature's way of slowing down the birth rate in the World. The Fundamentalists quoting the Bible is archaic in this day and age. The Bible was written by man and in its many translations has had words changed that effect the entire meaning of any given sentence. I believe that the Bible was meant to be a handbook, not a reason to be exclusionary. Gays and lesbians cannot help who they are and should not be chastised and excluded from the few benefits that heterosexual marriage between a man and a woman offer. The sanctity of marriage allows spouses to be at the hospital bedside of their loved one, but does not allow the same for the partners of gays and lesbians, no matter the fact that they may have been together for more years than most marriages have lasted! Really? Commitment is commitment and who are we to exclude those who are different than we are? Haven't we, as a group, learned anything from the past?
Peter Lawson, Valley Ford, CA: "Maybe those who oppose abortion or even birth control unknowingly harbor those same fears. Just wondering." Maybe so. And maybe it is a deep-seated anxiety on the part of dominant men that their hegemony will be eroded, or ended, when they can't control the sexual/reproductive process. Or to put it more graphically, do dominant men ever let their women get on top? I love your stuff. Keep stirring things up.
Susan Brownlee, Stamford, CT:
Nobody else's business is right! What a dumb country we live in with people trying to manage our personal bodies and affairs. That shouldn't have to be made clear, but you did and for that I thank you.
Doris Boruff Peterson, Omaha, NE:
Have just purchased your What A Friend They Had In Jesus: The Theological Visions of Nineteenth-and Twentieth-Century Hymn Writers" from Polebridge Press and am so grateful to you, for although I have believed precisely what you wrote, I have never heard or read anyone mention any of it. I look forward to your weekly essays. Thank you for speaking out.
Joel Pugh, Dallas, TX:
Good Teaching. Keep it up! Sadly, the Methodist Church in Pennsylvania and here in Texas still teaches discrimination based on a rule that they put into their Book of Discipline in 1972. In 1973, the New England Journal of Medicine and the American Psychiatric Association acknowledged that their previous teaching that Homosexuality was a "disease" was in fact, wrong. Unfortunately, many people with bad teaching before that date just cannot cope with science and struggle to embrace bad teaching. I guess most of the pain in this world is a result of bad teaching.
Roberta Hawley, Lexington, KY:
I hope you don't mind that I sent a copy of today's essay "Nobody Else's Business" to the scourge of the Blue Grass State, Sen. Mitch McConnell. He's always in our business and should cut it out. Yours is a bright light shining. Let it shine.
Florence Kohler, Cincinnati, OH:
You may be right about gay marriage, though I can't imagine anyone I know wanting it. But you are wrong, wrong, wrong about abortion. That is never right. And it is of public concern, just as murder is.
Frankie Nolan, Boulder, CO:
You may not know it, but you have quite a following here. People still remember your speech at the Humanist Institute several years ago. I sent your essay on to several people and told them to subscribe for themselves. Thank you for your clear thinking and sparkling prose.
Blayney Colmore, La Jolla, CA: Funny that so-called conservatives would object to gay marriage. Marriage must be among the most conservative instruments devised by humankind. Conservatives with consistent views might celebrate victory over the once rampant fears of promiscuity openly gay people aroused (one wonders how much unconscious longing may be what motivates that). I am loathe to admit that I do understand the abortion controversy, though I am not persuaded of the integrity of all those who oppose it. Should you believe that a two-celled fetus is a full human -- an opinion that seems far-fetched to me -- then you would oppose abortion (along with war). And I think smoking outside one's home can be regulated since second-hand smoke has been shown to cause harm. But gay marriage? Conservatives should declare victory.
Brian McHugh, Silver City, NM:
[You wrote: "Maybe those who oppose abortion or even birth control unknowingly harbor those same fears. Just wondering."] Maybe Jesus, unmarried, was saying something about heterosexual marriage. Just wondering. Maybe those who oppose abortion or even birth control unknowingly harbor those same fears. Just wondering.
Cynthia Chase, Laurel, MD: The problem as I see it is that something that was hidden has come out in the open, making many -- who really knew about gayness all along --very uncomfortable. Gays and lesbians are claiming a place at the table, with pride and dignity.
John Bennison, Walnut Creek, CA:
All the contorted arguments to defend so-called "traditional" marriage could be considered downright silly, if it wasn't so sad. The problem - and the distinction that is so often missed -- isn't that it's nobody else's business, but that human sexuality is everybody's business. We may look different, act different, believe different things, but we are all sexual beings to the core. That's why sexual discrimination is altogether different from other forms of discrimination. I say, if we have to reduce the term "marriage" to nothing more than the sexual union of two persons of the opposite sex, then let the sexual bigots have it. Human beings will inalterably seek oneness however possible. What the advocates of same-sex unions seek -- beyond equal legal rights now accorded others -- is what everyone wants; namely, acceptance. And there's the rub.
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