LivingAfterWLS Weekly Digest
Compassion & Communicaton
Essential to your health management with WLS

November 21, 2013

In This Issue
October Theme
Conversations for the best outcome
Speak Not About My Weight
Benefits of Communication
Show me that you care.

Paper Thanksgiving Turkey
November Theme: 
Compassion & Communication in Weight Management
The Doctor-Patient Connection

"Medicine is an art whose magic and creative ability have long been recognized as residing in the interpersonal aspects of patient-physician relationship." 

~ J.A. Hall - 1981     


"For the first time in my life I came to believe that my obesity was not vulgar and grotesque: Obesity is a metabolic disorder influenced by genetics and environment, and for me there was a medical resolution.  My bariatric center became my safe haven and as far as I was concerned they were all rock stars.  Many of you have shared similar enlightening experiences."

~Kaye Bailey on the compassion and understanding shown by her bariatric team.


"Obesity is a chronic, debilitating and potentially fatal disease."
American College of Gastroenterology - 2008

Check out our special edition Digest: Obesity is a Medical Condition, Not a Moral Failure
Link Here

Refresher: Definitions
OBESITY: noun.
Obesity is a medical condition in which excess body fat has accumulated to the extent that it may have an adverse effect on health. It is defined by body mass index (BMI) and further evaluated in terms of fat distribution via the waist-hip ratio and total cardiovascular risk factors. BMI is closely related to both percentage body fat and total body fat.

Obesity - The specifics

~Any BMI ≥ 35 or 40 is
severe obesity

~A BMI of ≥ 35 and experiencing obesity-related health conditions or ≥40-44.9 is
morbid obesity

~A BMI of ≥ 45 or 50 is
super obesity

Learn your BMI at the Centers for Disease Control website: Link Below.
Exclusive Offer
LivingAfterWLS eBooks

Loyal Readers:
Just for you.....
50% Off eBooks 
Did you know that if you've previously purchased a print copy of one of our publications you can get the eBook for 50% off the listed price?
Drop us an email with the book title*, your email address and/or order number and/or approximate purchase date.
Once we verify your previous purchase a coupon will be emailed to you.  Our eBooks are listed at $10.95 but you, our loyal customer, may purchase the download for just $5.50. Have the support and information you need at your fingertips!
Email our customer service specialist Jenn at this address:
*This offer does not expire and applies to all previous purchases of LivingAfterWLS Print Publications.  Be sure to read the eReader platform requirements before placing order. 

Talking to achieve the best outcome: 
A doctor's communication and interpersonal skills encompass the ability to gather information in order to facilitate accurate diagnosis, counsel appropriately, give therapeutic instructions, and establish caring relationships with patients. These are the core clinical skills in the practice of medicine, with the ultimate goal of achieving the best outcome and patient satisfaction, which are essential for the effective delivery of health care. 
~ Jennifer Fong Ha, MBBS

Three Goals:
The three main goals of current doctor-patient communication are creating a good interpersonal relationship, facilitating exchange of information, and including patients in decision making. 
~ National Institutes of Health

Dynamic and Collaborative 
Collaborative communication is a reciprocal and dynamic relationship, involving the 2-way exchange of information. In an ideal world, doctors should collaborate with their patients to provide the best care because doctors tend to make decisions based on quick assessments, which may be biased. This requires the doctors to take time or set up opportunities to offer and discuss treatment choices to patients and share the responsibility and control with them. Successful information exchange ensures that concerns are elicited and explored and that explanations of treatment options are balanced and understood to allow for shared decision making. In this approach, the doctor facilitates discussion and negotiation with patients and the treatment options are evaluated and tailored to the context of the patients' situation and needs, rather than a standardized protocol. Care options need to be collaborative between doctor and patient, taking into account patient expectations, outcome preferences, level of risk acceptable, and any associated cost to maximize adherence and to assure the best outcome.
~National Institutes of Health

Join our mailing list

LivingAfterWLS Publications now on Amazon

The 5 Day Pouch Test Owner's Manual
by Kaye Bailey by

LivingAfterWLS, LLC
Perfect Paperback
Our Price: $22.95
Buy Now

Let's Connect on Social Media

Like us on Facebook

Follow us on Twitter

Find me on Pinterest

View our videos on YouTube

Visit our blog



LivingAfterWLS General Store

Warm Wishes!


LivingAfterWLS Newsletter Archive

5 Day Pouch Test July Bulletin
Secret to successful WLS

Special Edition Digest
Must Read:
Obesity Reclassified.
"Obesity is a medical condition, not a moral failure."

5 Day Pouch Test June Bulletin

Don't Blame the Equipment

Cooking with Kaye
July 25, 2013
Refreshing Beverages

Cooking with Kaye
June 18, 2013

The Tricky Salad Plate

Weekly Digest July 23, 2013
Diet Soda is Making us Sick

Weekly Digest: June 10, 2103
Summer Living After WLS:
The Heat is ON!

Weekly Digest: June 1, 2013
Summer LivingAfterWLS:
Make this Your Best Year Ever


I hope this message finds you well and excited about pursuing a healthier way of life with weight loss surgery. Thank you for taking time to join me here: I know your Inbox is as full as mine with many things asking for your time and attention. 
This Weekly Bulletin presents some interesting new research: There is a disconnect between physicians and patients when it comes to discussing obesity and weight management. Not surprised, are you? I think any of us sitting on the exam table feeling vulnerable in that tie-in-the-back dressing gown would prefer not to discuss our weight problem with the doctor. But research also shows that an honest non-judgmental dialog between doctor and patient goes a long way in our desire to take action to fight obesity. In fact, effective doctor-patient communication is central to building a therapeutic doctor-patient relationship, which is the heart and art of medicine. Our featured article, "Understanding and Resolving the Patient-Physician Disconnect" expounds on this belief.
In the left sidebar you will find brief quotes and inspiration from many experts on improving our health-care relationships. And don't miss our closing article, "Just show me you care" - Isn't that all we really want in our relationship with the doctor? 

Next week is Thanksgiving here in the United States. Between the feasting, the gatherings, the shopping, and the parades and football I hope to find time to reflect on the many blessings I've enjoyed this year. And I count my LivingAfterWLS friends and neighbors at the top of the list. Thank you for all you have given me. May you enjoy a blessed holiday rejoice with gratitude in your heart.  Please watch your Inbox the next few days for our special Cooking with Kaye Thanksgiving Recipes and a special edition 5 Day Pouch Test Bulletin which will empower you to thrive this holiday season without guilt or weight gain! Yea!
In preparation for Thanksgiving last week was National Clean Your Refrigerator Day (An occasion started by Maytag so the legend goes.) Learn more about the "holiday" and get some great tips on refrigerator cleanliness and upkeep in the LivingAfterWLS Blog: Is your refrigerator giving you the stink eye?
I hope you find this digest useful in your ongoing efforts for improved health with weight loss surgery. Today is a brand new opportunity to make improvements to our health  and wellness.  You have the power to make this your healthiest year ever - Let's do it together!


"I believe in you.
You deserve to be healthy.
 You deserve to be kind to yourself.
You deserve to achieve your greatest level of success with weight loss surgery when you harness your inner resources."
--Kaye Bailey 

Copyright Consideration:
You are our valued reader. We respect your rights and privacy by never sharing your information with a third party. Please respect our creative rights by honoring copyright laws and prevent plagiarism.

Super Value: Save $21 

LivingAfterWLS Bookworm Bundle  

Tools to Empower Your Success!


LivingAfterWLS Bookworm Bundle. Bundle includes: 5 Day Pouch Test Owner's Manual 2nd Edition (2012); Day 6: Beyond 5DPT (2009); Cooking with Kaye-Methods to Meals (2012). Over 250 recipes; 600 pages of effective empowerment supporting your healthy weight management.
Suggested Publisher Price: $82.95 - Purchased separately $72.95
Bundle Price: $61.95 - (Save $21.00)

Quick Buy


Promo Code: FALL2013 takes $3* off your order!!

*$29 minimum purchase please   


More Bargain Bundles at LivingAfterWLS General Store 

hushHush Now!
Speak not about my weight  

Understanding & Resolving the Physician-Patient Disconnect

by Kaye Bailey

In your struggle with obesity have you spoken with your general care physician about your weight and how to manage lifestyle and diet to lose weight and decrease your health risks associated with obesity?  Most of us have never had "the talk" with our primary care doctor.


A new study of 1,500 people sheds light on the doctor-patient communication breakdown when it comes to discussing body weight as a health issue.  Doctors are reporting they counsel their overweight and obese patients about diet and exercise. But patients in the survey tell a different story: nearly half say they've never discussed their weight, body mass index (BMI), diet, or exercise with their physician.


Researchers from the Obesity Action Coalition (OAC), The Obesity Society (TOS) and pharmaceutical company Eisai wanted to have a better understanding of the communication regarding weight management between physicians and patients. In a survey of patients they talked to 1,009 adults in the "patients" group.  A separate survey of 501 physicians was conducted by the same coalition. The survey asked all participants the same questions.


The survey results revealed that all physicians said they counsel their overweight and obese patients about diet and exercise. However, only 56% of overweight or obese patients reported having ever discussed weight with their doctor, and only 4 in 10 of these patients said they have been told to lose weight. In further detail, 92% of doctors said they talk about body mass index (BMI) with their overweight and obese patients, but 67% of patients said they rarely or never have that discussion.


This really isn't breaking news to those of us who struggle with obesity. Right now, as you read this, you are likely remembering a painful and uncomfortable encounter with a health care professional regarding your weight. I remember like it was yesterday an appointment with my general care doctor in 1997. As I exited the health consultation with my doctor he handed me a written "prescription" to speak to a nutritionist about my weight.  We had not discussed my weight in that appointment nor in prior appointments. I was humiliated as I read the prescription while my doctor disappeared down the hall without a word.  You can be confident that prescription immediately went to the trash and my association with that doctor was over. Here he was my caregiver and he made me feel my obesity was so vulgar and grotesque that even speaking about was unthinkable.  "My God!" I wondered, "does he think my fat is contagious?"


While the topic of obesity may be uncomfortable for a patient or a doctor to discuss, the fact is, weight management is crucial to good health, longevity, and reducing the risk of other diseases. 


We must talk to our doctors about this health issue.  Research shows time and again that open doctor-patient communication is valuable in all aspects of health management.  In 2010 the National Institutes of Health (NIH) reported, "Patients reporting good communication with their doctor are more likely to be satisfied with their care, and especially to share pertinent information for accurate diagnosis of their problems, follow advice, and adhere to the prescribed treatment."


Joe Nadglowski, CEO and president of Obesity Action Coalition (OAC), says that with obesity rates continuing to rise across the US, the relationship between physician and patient is "critically important" in the evaluation and treatment of patients who are overweight or obese.   "We need to educate patients to have the conversation about their weight and ask the right questions so they leave the doctor's office feeling empowered to take steps toward managing their weight. We also need to encourage physicians to facilitate the weight discussion with their patients, as it is often a difficult topic to discuss."


Experts suggest patients take the initiative for open and honest communication with their doctors about weight management.  Many WLS patients seek the care of a bariatric surgeon independently, without a referral from their general care physician. Like so many of you, I found my WLS team provided kindness, compassion, support, and professionalism in helping me make critical lifesaving choices including weight management with bariatric surgery. For the first time in my life I came to believe that my obesity was not vulgar and grotesque: Obesity is a metabolic disorder influenced by genetics and environment for which there was a medical resolution.  My bariatric center became my safe haven and as far as I was concerned they were all rock stars.  Many of you have shared similar stories.


The nirvana and profound peace we find at our weight loss surgery centers cannot last forever - at some point we will return to our general care doctor. Leaving the compassion and warmth of the bariatric center to return to an awkward meeting with my everyday doctor left me cold.  According to the NIH, "The three main goals of current doctor-patient communication are creating a good interpersonal relationship, facilitating exchange of information, and including patients in decision making." The burden of these goals falls upon the doctor because as patients we are under his care and authority. However, we can enter the doctor's office prepared to ask questions that we deem important.  Write down your questions to prompt the conversation. Set emotions and old wounds aside and listen with an open and thoughtful mind. Avoid filtering topics that are uncomfortable or embarrassing. Be brave: this is your life and health at stake.


Some researchers believe discussions of obesity and weight loss will become easier in the near future. "In this last year alone, we've seen tremendous strides made in the way society talks and thinks about obesity. There's been recognition of obesity as a disease and advances in medicine to help those struggling with obesity. However, the conversations happening in the exam room have yet to catch up," says Francesca Dea, executive director of The Obesity Society (TOS).
Whether the root cause here is a lack of understanding, different personalities, the psychology of having these uncomfortable conversations or a combination of factors, the goal is to improve physician-patient conversations to engender shared interest and investment in the overall improvement of health.


Further Reading:   I am Me: I Am Not My Disease


Now available everywhere in eBooks!

    LivingAfterWLS is pleased to announce that our publications by Kaye Bailey are available in eBook format for your portable reading and reference pleasure. Check them out in the LivingAfterWLS General Store. Or with one of our eReader Partners: Amazon Kindle; Barnes & Noble Nook; Kobo ; iTunes Store, Google Play and Primedia eLaunch Bookstore.  eBooks are an excellent option for our readers outside of the United States!

Amazon Kindle  ~  Barnes & Noble Nook  ~  Kobo

 iTunesGoogle Play  ~
Primedia eLaunch

*Prices may vary by store, please find the perfect option for your enjoyment.


Shop the LivingAfterWLS General Store for eBooks!

Benefits of Effective
Doctor-Patient Communication

Published Spring 2010 "The Ochsner Journal" by Jennifer Fong Ha, MBBS and Nancy Longnecker, PHD.

Please Note:
Effective doctor-patient communication is a central clinical function, and the resultant communication is the heart and art of medicine and a central component in the delivery of health care. The three main goals of current doctor-patient communication are creating a good interpersonal relationship, facilitating exchange of information, and including patients in decision making. Effective doctor-patient communication is determined by the doctors' "bedside manner," which patients' judge as a major indicator of their doctors' general competence.

Good doctor-patient communication has the potential to help regulate patients' emotions, facilitate comprehension of medical information, and allow for better identification of patients' needs, perceptions, and expectations. Patients reporting good communication with their doctor are more likely to be satisfied with their care, and especially to share pertinent information for accurate diagnosis of their problems, follow advice, and adhere to the prescribed treatment. Patients' agreement with the doctor about the nature of the treatment and need for follow-up is strongly associated with their recovery.

Studies have shown correlations between a sense of control and the ability to tolerate pain, recovery from illness, decreased tumor growth, and daily functioning. Enhanced psychological adjustments and better mental health have also been reported. Some studies have observed a decrease in length of hospital stay and therefore the cost of individual medical visits and fewer referrals.

A more patient-centered encounter results in better patient as well as doctor satisfaction. Satisfied patients are less likely to lodge formal complaints or initiate malpractice complaints. Satisfied patients are advantageous for doctors in terms of greater job satisfaction, less work-related stress, and reduced burnout.

Be prepared for a conversation with your doctor. Prior to your appointment please complete our LivingAfterWLS Personal Self-Assessment so your have a clear vision of where you have come from, what you have accomplished, where you want to go.

Download the free worksheet here: LivingAfterWLS Self-Assessment


5 Day Pouch Test Owner's Manual
Customer Favorite

5DPT Manual 2nd Edition
The complete 5 Day Pouch Test plan including inspiration, instructions, and recipes in Kay  e Bailey's classic empowering style. 180-page easy to read paperback with hints, tips and encouragement that enables you to take charge of your weight loss surgery tool. 2nd Edition includes new guidelines from the FDA, USDA, and the ASMBS. 16 new 5DPT recipes; more FAQ's; more inspiration from Kaye. Improved format. Same great plan shared with Kaye's encouragement and enthusiasm. Same low first edition price $22.95. Get back on track with Kaye! You Can Do This!

View Table of Contents

SALE! $22.95

Add 5DPT Manual to Cart

Learn more about the new second edition:

An Interview with Kaye Bailey


careJust show me that you care. Gerber Daisy


"The patient will never care how much you know, until they know how much you care."

(Terry Canale in his American Academy of Orthopaedic Surgeons Vice Presidential Address)


Doctor-patient communication is a major component of the process of health care. Doctors are in a unique position of respect and power. Hippocrates suggested that doctors may influence patients' health. Effective doctor-patient communication can be a source of motivation, incentive, reassurance, and support. A good doctor-patient relationship can increase job satisfaction and reinforce patients' self-confidence, motivation, and positive view of their health status, which may influence their health outcomes.


Most complaints about doctors are related to issues of communication, not clinical competency. Patients want doctors who can skillfully diagnose and treat their sicknesses as well as communicate with them effectively.

Doctors with better communication and interpersonal skills are able to detect problems earlier, can prevent medical crises and expensive intervention, and provide better support to their patients. This may lead to higher-quality outcomes and better satisfaction, lower costs of care, greater patient understanding of health issues, and better adherence to the treatment process.29,32 There is currently a greater expectation of collaborative decision making, with physicians and patients participating as partners to achieve the agreed upon goals and the attainment of quality of life.

Previously Announced:
Neighborhood Closure

We announced in September our LivingAfterWLS is now closed. In case you missed it here is the announcement:

It is with mixed emotions that LivingAfterWLS has decided to close the gates on our  LivingAfterWLS Neighborhood online support community. This "safe haven circle of friends" has served WLS patients from around the world since 2006. Our decision to close the Neighborhood is business based. It is an epic undertaking to host an online community of this size: both time consuming and costly. Technology is changing so rapidly it takes a full tech staff to keep pace with the changes. Meanwhile our membership activity was decreasing due to the allure of larger social networks beyond the Neighborhood. We simply could not sustain the technological or economic burden the Neighborhood had become. So we sadly watch the sun set on a truly remarkable place in cyberspace and special moment in time.

But as the sun sets, a new dawn harkens. With our Neighborhood duties relieved, we will now focus on the important work at hand: Curating and presenting quality up-to-date information and skills to support your on-going weight loss and weight management efforts with surgery. Our free email publications have been an audience favorite since 2005. You can expect to see them arrive more regularly brimming with original content, great recipes, fun ideas, and inspiration for the WLS journey. I am working on a new print publication or two, and we are producing our first bookzine (book-magazine) in electronic format: LivingAfterWLS Holidays. Look for it early November.

I offer a deep word of gratitude for all the Foundation Members, Ambassadors, Fun Friday Hostesses, Neighbors and Friends who made the Neighborhood possible. An online community is only as good as its members. Our members made the Neighborhood extraordinary.

Don't expect for me to disappear. Like so many of you I'll participate in social media: sharing, connecting, learning, and living together. The Neighborhood was a terrific ride. In many ways I'll miss it immensely, but I know it is time to say goodbye.



Serving the WLS Community Since 2006

Don't trust your weight loss surgery life to anyplace else.
Spam-Free  ~  Privacy Protected  
Nurturing Empowerment  

Thank you for being a loyal Neighbor of LivingAfterWLS. We are proud to serve you in your weight loss surgery journey.

Kaye Bailey
LivingAfterWLS, LLC

The health content in the LivingAfterWLS website is intended to inform, not prescribe, and is not meant to be a substitute for the advice and care of a qualified health-care professional.


LivingAfterWLS, LLC
Kaye Bailey, Founder
Evanston, Wyoming 82931