Katerina Evans

Arundel Lodge NEWS:

Katerina Evans: I think that often women have to deal with cultural stereotypes--women take care of others before they take care of themselves; strong and silent, we can do it all. And even though I agree that women are very strong, I think this can also lead to having a hard time with the idea of self-care. That's why I choose to focus on this issue a lot in the women's group I lead at the Lodge.

LaShandra Oliver: Do you get overwhelmed by the demands put on you by your friends, family, spouse, or society? Have you ever felt too fat? Too skinny? Not good enough? Have you ever felt judged by others, even people you thought you could trust? Now, imagine conquering all of that when you've only developed maladaptive coping techniques or while also battling severe depression, anxiety, or schizophrenia. Women are seen as too aggressive if we stand up for ourselves, but we're labeled weak if we show emotion or vulnerability. Even worse, I feel like problems like depression or anxiety get overlooked or dismissed because people feel like it's just part a woman's existence to be emotional or that we have to put others above ourselves. That can make it difficult to ever want to come out and talk about your problems and seek treatment for yourself.

Ana Maria Phillips: For Latina women in particular, the most important issue is the limited access to mental health care due to very few bilingual providers and lack of insurance. The overwhelming majority of Latinas who come to the clinic are depressed and anxious, trauma survivors. Some have marital and family issues. Most often, it is the woman who makes the initial contact about services for the family or an adolescent.

Margaret O'Brien: I find that Persons Served at the Lodge learn more from each other and gain more information in a gender-mixed group. It's also about showing the men how women think and vice versa. We all have so much to share with each other that gender isn't a big factor.

Arundel Lodge NEWS: 

What are some ways that Arundel Lodge addresses the needs of women? 

Katerina: We have groups specifically for women. The group I work with meets weekly and we discuss topics chosen by the women in the group or from issues that come up. Again and again, we come back to the importance of taking care of ourselves. Sometimes it's easier to do this when we realize that this actually helps us take better care of others. 

Ana Maria Phillips

Ana Maria: I have run three different women's trauma groups and am currently running a Hope and Cope women's group. Hope and Cope has discussed self-esteem issues and messages from the media that impact how we see ourselves. Group members were aware that messages were unrealistic. Some worried about how these messages affect their daughters or granddaughters. Some members have been sexually abused and they are upset by young women in the media feeling the need to be overtly sexual to be noticed.  

Katerina: When talking with the women in the group, some of the positive impacts have been "learning to relax, getting to spend time in a relaxing atmosphere, and having a chance to help each other and teach others as we do projects together, having positive activities to fill our time with." One of the women said, "I feel like I can communicate with other people without having a big stress on my shoulders. You get to know everybody in the group and we work together and learn from each other." The women also noted that mental health problems can often be related to not taking time for themselves, a topic we often discuss.

I love working with the women in the women's group. We try to create a sense of the old quilting bees, or women's groups where they worked on a project together and at the same time, they talked--it was a mix of ages and experiences, and everyone was valued and contributed to whatever it was they were making. There's something very powerful about creating together. The women reminded me of some of the projects they have enjoyed--we've made a quilt, painted rocks, made thankfulness trees and family trees, made flowers to decorate the Lodge, and just recently, we made two blankets that we will donate to the Linus Project.

Elizabeth Hooper works on a blanket for the Linus Project.

Some other participants from the women's group shared their thoughts about how the group benefits their wellness:

Kelly Chubb: Women's group is good for me. I get to know more women better, women who are different than me. But taking care of ourselves is still hard.

Nikki Dorsey: 

Sheryl Perez: It's my responsibility to know what I want, what I need. The group gives me a challenge; I get to let people know how I feel and how I think.

Arundel Lodge NEWS: 

When you work with individuals in therapy or coaching, are there any issues particular to women? Are there any ways of supporting women you've found to be effective?

Katerina: One issue I often see in therapy is that women feel taking care of themselves is selfish. I see therapy basically as learning to truly take care of yourself, so this can be a barrier to wellness. Learning to balance taking care of yourself and others is a real challenge. 

LaShandra Oliver

LaShandra: I think keeping quiet and maintaining stability is a big theme I've seen with female clients. They don't want to rock the boat by speaking up for themselves or make someone else unhappy. They don't want to burden anyone, but often that means they have no one to turn to and bottle up their feelings. I think body issues are more common too, and self-mutilation by means of cutting.

Arundel Lodge NEWS: 

Would you like to make a statement about yourself and how you support your own wellness?  

Margaret: Ongoing Mindfulness and DBT groups for the last four years, meditation and yoga practices, Chakra threading, and many other modalities have become the focus of my life. I have discovered spirituality for the first time in my life, and everything revolves around this. I am now proud to be on staff at ALI as a WRAP Facilitator, Peer Support Specialist, MHA. Assisting others to find their own wellness path rewards me infinitely.

LaShandra: In preparation for my new position, I saw my own therapist this past summer. It was a great experience for me because I could go through the process from the other side. We talked about my relationship with colleagues, my employees, friends/boyfriend. I learned about myself and feel like I'm more at peace with myself and the people around me. I still struggle with allowing myself time for self-care on a regular basis. I'm my own worst critic, so it's not always easy to give myself credit for all the work I do and then I feel guilty for taking time to relax on the couch and watch TV. That being said, now that I'm a therapist and I know my job is more emotionally draining, I make much more of a conscious effort to just take better care of myself physically, mentally, emotionally.

Katerina: I try to practice what I preach, so being in the groups helps me too. It reminds me of all the different things I can do for myself to improve my own mental health. I have learned that when I'm not taking good care of myself, I'm just not able to be as present for others in my work. I practice mindfulness as much as possible; working in even just a few minutes of breathing and quiet space really helps me. I also make art a lot. Over the years, I've realized that making art is a way for me to check in with myself. One of the goals I've set for myself this year is to spend some time in nature every month. So far, I've been able to go to a small beach on the weekends to collect driftwood with my kids. This has dual purpose--I get to spend time with them collecting treasures, and we are using the wood in the studio to create sculptures for the upcoming show in May.  

Arundel Lodge NEWS: 

In talking with staff and Persons Served at the Lodge, it is clear that women are healthier and happier when they take time to meet their own needs. Whether a woman is an employee, a family member, or a Person Served, she doesn't have to feel selfish about making positive choices for her own wellness.