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A Message From Children's Medical Office
Like all of you, everyone at Children's Medical Office was shocked and horrified following the awful school shooting in Newtown, CT. The first and most important thing we can say is that our hearts go out to all of those who lost loved ones in the attack, and to those who are offering them comfort and support at this incredibly difficult time. As both medical providers and parents ourselves, we join the whole country in grieving this senseless loss of life. If you have small children, you might be wondering how to help them deal with the news of this event. The truth is that there is no absolutely right answer that will work perfectly for every child. It will depend a great deal on how old your child is, and what their temperament is like. With that said, here are a few suggestions:
1) As far as you are able to do so, limit your children's exposure to coverage of the events. Radio and television coverage will probably be extensive over the coming days, and it may be best to keep these information sources turned off when your children are around. As a country, we often get very focused on 24-hour coverage of tragic events like these. This is going to be far more than a small child can handle. Switch the station or turn the TV off altogether when your kids are around.
2) On a related note, your children will take a lot of cues from you. The more upset you are, the more upset your children are likely to become. If you are anxious, they may become anxious. As much as it's possible, keep on an even keel if you find yourself discussing this with your children.
3) It is hard to know how successful we can be at shielding small children from information about events like these. Despite your best efforts, you may find your children come to you with questions. We recommend being direct, but age-appropriate. You can say that something bad happened and that it has made people very sad. If they know that children were involved, we would recommend honest acknowledgment of that fact. But the details should be limited, particularly for younger or very sensitive children.
4) Your children will very likely be seeking reassurance from you about their own safety. While we wouldn't recommend a blanket statement that nothing bad will ever happen to them, neither would be recommend a totally "honest" statement that the chances of something bad happening to them are very low. Children are not sophisticated enough to understand probabilities and odds. If they ask you if they are safe, we would recommend a simple "Yes."
We hope this is helpful. If you find that your child has become very distressed by this news, we would be happy to help you find supports for him or her. One final note -- you may find us asking more directly about gun ownership at your child's well checks. Asking these questions is a recommended part of anticipatory guidance at pediatric visits, but is often overlooked. The events of the past week serve as a tragic reminder that it's important to be vigilant no matter where you live, that no community can afford to be complacent. Working to keep our patients safe and healthy is our highest obligation, and asking these questions is an important part of that.
We wish you and your loved ones well in this sad time.
Sincerely,
The medical staff of Children's Medical Office of North Andover
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