The Funeral Consumers Alliance (FCA) is a non-profit organization which was started to advocate for consumers and assist them in knowing their death-care and end-of-life funeral and memorial options.  Rodger Ericson is on the FCA national Board of Trustees and is active in their Austin affiliate called Austin Memorial and Burial Information Society (AMBIS). Go to funerals.org  for more information. 

"What Are My Options?"     

 Most people are confused about what they can and can't do when a loved one dies. While the American funeral industry usually pushes what it calls a "traditional funeral" - embalming, fancy casket, open-casket wake, funeral ceremony, procession, and graveside service - this type of funeral is a relatively recent commercial invention rarely practiced outside the U.S. and Canada. Do not be swayed by funeral home salesmanship, or exhortations to "do what's traditional."

 The typical American funeral has no roots in Christianity, Judaism, Islam, or any other religion. In Israel and the Islamic Middle East, for example, burial in a shroud without a coffin is still the predominant burial method, as it has been for thousands of years. If a typical American funeral brings you comfort and you can afford it, then, by all means, arrange one. But every family should know it has the right to care for its dead in any way the family sees fit within the law. Here are some types of funerals families around the country have told us about:

•  One family didn't want a public viewing of the body, but they did want a place where friends and family could gather. For them, a funeral home was the most convenient choice. They chose a closed casket visitation and welcomed family and friends to the calling hours at the funeral home. They were especially pleased to find a funeral home willing to help them have food and drinks brought in for a more comfortable gathering. Afterward, they brought the casket to church for a traditional Mass.
•  One woman in her 90s had lived in a nursing home for many years. When she died, she had few friends left to attend a conventional funeral. Her daughters decided to cremate her body and place her ashes in a cookie jar, as a tribute to her legendary baking skills. They held a memorial service at the nursing home - complete with Mom's bake-off ribbons - where her housemates remembered her with laughter and tears.
•  Beth lost her 7-year-old daughter in a car accident. Because she had cared for Alison in every way a mother could, Beth couldn't bear to give her daughter's body to a funeral home. Beth dressed Alison at home, and laid her in her bed with her favorite stuffed animals. She invited Alison's friends, siblings, and schoolmates to come to the home to say goodbye to the little girl in a very private setting. Alison's friends spent time with her in her own bedroom, and talked with their parents about the mystery and pain of her death. As difficult as it was, Beth says Alison's brothers and sisters came to terms with her death in a natural, family-centered way that no commercial funeral could have provided.

    The FCA does not direct how you "should" conduct last rights or rituals, instead they want to encourage  families to determine what is best for them and supports those who wish to find a less expensive way to memorialize their loved ones.  Remember, the amount you spend is in no way proportional to the amount of your love. Spend $200 (as I did) or $10,000 (as I was quoted for the same functions) it is your choice.  What is meaningful and dignified for you?  Let that be your guide, together with your faith's convictions and values.                                                                                                     

-- Rodger Ericson