January 2017
In This Issue
Surviving Friendly Criticism
You are Not Alone; Online Small Groups for Pastor's Wives
Fully Alive in the New Year
Because Of I Am, We Are Noticed
Surviving Friendly Criticism
      
Ever been on an emotional leby
 by Stacey G. Benson

"Not only that --  count yourselves blessed every time people put you down or throw you out or speak lies about you to discredit me.  What it means is that the truth is too close for comfort and they are uncomfortable.  You can be glad when that happens -- give a cheer, even! -- for though they don't like it, I do!  And all heaven applauds.  And know that you are in good company.  My prophets and witnesses have always gotten into this kind of trouble." ~ Matthew 5:11-12 (The Message)

Ever been on an emotional ledge?  I have.  Right now I'm not there, but my friend is.  She is in need.  She has plenty to eat, enough clothes to wear, and a nice house to live in.  She has a wonderful husband and great kids.  She has an exciting job and parents who love and support her.  So what could someone with all of this really need?  She needs a thick skin.

You see, she and her husband are living dangerously.  They are following God's call and finding that it can get pretty lonely.  They have devoted their lives to see as many people as possible become Christ-followers. However, instead of being encouraged by those in the church whom they have loved, they are being shunned and criticized - hit by friendly fire.

My friend wonders why she should ever invest in people again if they'll only turn on her in the end...
By Heather Wilson

The first time I logged on to join an online small group of Pastor's wives through Leading and Loving It I was nervous. I thought I'd be the only one insecure about my role. I was so intimidated. But I knew I needed support. Our family had just moved away from family and friends in Seattle for my husband to begin a new Pastoral position in Western Illinois.  Though we felt confidence and unity in Gods calling, I was terribly lonely.

Robin greeted me warmly online from her home in New Jersey. She proceeded to lead the group through introductions and a scripture focus. We prayed for each other, and the ministries and families represented in our group of gals from various parts of the country. I was profoundly grateful to connect with a group of ladies that understood the nuances of ministry life! I was not alone.

Today I have the delight of leading a ConnectLive small group through Leading and Loving It specifically for Pastor's wives in the midst of, or anticipating major ministry transition. 13 beautifully different Pastor's wives from 9 states, 7 denominations, and ranging in ages from 23 to 58 join me once a month online for an hour of mutual Biblical encouragement and prayer. We stay in touch via text, email and Facebook in between our gatherings. I love the authentic nature in which we can share the joys and struggles of ministry life with each other!  In our group there is no expectation for perfection, and there is no subject off limits; we talk about how to encourage our husbands, how to handle both external and self-imposed expectations, and how to help our kids work through hurt in the church. Together we lean into the idea that we have influence that can be stewarded to lift high the name of Jesus and strengthen our church family. Simply put, we encourage one another to hang on to Jesus in the midst of the crazy! 
by Melinda Mattson

I love the crisp new calendar smell, the uncountable options for the unfilled pages. There's something exciting about the way it feels to have my face in the wind of a new year to inspire me to consider what could be.
We throw open our doors to God and discover at the same moment that he has already thrown open his door to us. We find ourselves standing where we always hoped we might stand-out in the wide open spaces of God's grace and glory, standing tall and shouting our praise. (Romans 5:1b-2)
This paraphrase sums up a dream I have for the new year which trumps the rest: to be fully alive in the wide-open spaces of God's grace and glory shouting my praise.

Doesn't that outdo consistent meal planning and thinner thighs? Give me some wide-open space to reflect His glory and I'll call it a banner year.

The first time I heard St. Irenaeus's statement "The glory of God is a (wo)man fully alive," it changed my life. I never considered the idea of my coming fully alive as the best reflection of God's glory. I knew He was for me, but to understand how my living fully was tied to His glory was more than I could have hoped. His affections for me were even greater than I imagined.

For the first time, I understood how my longing to savor and fully enjoy all of life isn't a selfish aim, but is in fact what brings glory to God.
Because Of I Am, We Are Noticed
by Stephanie Shouse

For years I've struggled between the issues of feeling unnoticed and feeling too noticed... know what I mean? "Pastor's wife" is a position that gets a lot of personal attention: people notice what you wear to church, what you say on social media, what you do during the worship service.

This life of leadership has often been described as a fishbowl, and yet feeling UN-noticed is also an issue for many of us. If we're not published authors or sought-after speakers, we feel unnoticed. If we serve in a small church, a rural community, or a forgotten mission field, we feel unnoticed. If our husband is asked to speak at an event and we're only introduced as "his (nameless) lovely wife," we feel unnoticed.
Have you ever felt unnoticed?

Even by God?

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