The Next Generation - Who Are We Men Anyway?

For he established a testimony in Jacob, and appointed a law in Israel, which he commanded our fathers, that they should make them known to their children. That the generation to come might know them, even the children which should be born, who should arise and declare them to their children. Psalm 78: 5,6

Do you know who you are? I'm not talking about what your name is or where you may live. When you look at your drivers license and see your name and your picture in bold letters, who do you see? Do you ever find yourself staring at some man in the mirror looking back at you and suddenly you pause wondering - who is this guy? Before we can consider how or what we are going to attempt to pass on to the next generation, I believe we first need to discover in unmistakable terms who we are - not only as an individual, but also as men.     

I had the pleasure recently of being in a dinner meeting with Major General Douglas Carver who was head of the Chaplains Division of the US Army. As we set after dinner, General Carver shared with us the great concern of how suicide was rapidly growing with men in the military. It was alarming and heart breaking to hear how strong, masculine, real men were taking their own lives. Several years ago, I was sitting in my office when our plumbing contractor stormed in the office threatening to whip my butt if I did not pay him his final payment on a job that moment. I could tell he had been drinking heavily and was completely out of control. But after some time, I was able to calm him down. I then  relayed to him that his folks had not finished the job, but if he would bring his crew and meet me on the job the next morning, I would bring the check. We did meet and I gave him his check when those few things were completed. With him in a much calmer mood, we sat in my car while I tried to get into his heart as to what was causing him to act so rashly. He left my car that day without my understanding as to what was going on in his head and heart. Two weeks later I received a visit by one of his men telling me that his boss, my plumber, had shot and killed himself the day before.

Of all the suicides in the United States, 80 % are committed by men. As we go about our responsibilities each day in the marketplace, we pass by countless men who appear to be doing fine. Yet, one of these men we pass may very well be like my plumber. Too many men are living lives looking into the mirror each morning wondering who they are. Can they make it through the day with all their problems? Will someone discover who they really are - their hidden life? Whether it's the hardships we may be going through, or the real man we see in the mirror each morning, we all want to hide under cover the false man starring at us in the mirror.  We leave out each morning with the tendency to make sure we present a good picture of who we are to everyone around us. Our opinion of ourselves is based on what these people think of us.

General Carver related to us that evening that almost all men live a life of fear, regrets, and most of all - loneliness. Hidden underneath that positive, confident man we may meet every day is a man longing to know who he really is. Society has told him to be a real man he must have their description of manhood. Real men don't cry. Real men suck it up when hard times come never to display any weakness. Real men drive SUV's, pick up trucks, or BMW's. We are pressured to believe that real manhood is determined by the success we achieve and the abundance of material possessions we accumulate. Many men define themselves by the kind of work they are in. In fact, that question is one of the first asked about a man - what does he do? The worst of all is that manhood and faith do not go together. 

Unfortunately, many young boys grow up never being told by their father what really constitutes real manhood. Young boys grow into young men never knowing if they have fulfilled the true definition of a man. Many times it may be because we fathers have never settled the question ourselves. If we men do not take the responsibility to pass on to our sons what it means to be a man, then someone else will. And many times that will be a distorted view from distorted people.