The Third Stage - Understanding Why We Love Our Wives

"A wife of noble character is her husband's crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones." Proverbs 12: 4

We have found in the fifth chapter of Ephesians that God has given to the man an awesome role. With that leadership role, comes an even greater responsibility. To be the leader in anything or any organization is not an easy thing. When we come to realize and accept our role and responsibility in these situations, we can sometimes be overwhelmed at the magnitude of the task. Think about times when you have been the owner or manager of a business, the chairman of a very important committee or organization. In most all these occurrences, we find ourselves calling on others who have walked this road for advise, or we spend countless hours and money in training for the role. Can we say the same about our role in the family?

Verse 25 of Ephesians gave us a no alternative that we men are to love our wives. Now  we are given the reason why, and in that, we are also given the task that explains everything preceding this verse. Verse 26 states - " to make her holy, cleansing her by washing with water through the word."  In other words, our role as husbands is to lead our wives into being holy. This is our purpose and we accomplish it through a Christ like love for her. When Christ gave himself up for the church, He prepared a path for us to follow in order to lead our wives into a holy relationship with the Father.

In loving the church, notice that Jesus placed himself second to the church. When the church was really difficult to love, and the "feelings had wained, He continued on in His commitment and vow to love anyway. The thing we should do when we get in this situation is to do what Jesus told the people in Ephesus. Jesus accuses them of loosing their first love. He then tells them to repent and go back to the things they did at first. Maybe we should go back to those days of the honeymoon and do the things we did that sparked our romance. 

Notice, also, how we are to approach this responsibility - "cleansing her by the washing of water". There are no rough detergents, no ice cold water of criticism, or hot burning water of condemnation, but with the coolness and warmth of natural water from God's word. When God's word is applied, it brings a refreshing and satisfaction that only water can bring to a thirsty soul. 

This places a tremendous responsibility on us men. In every situation, someone has to be the leader. Someone has to be the responsible person. Two people cannot jointly have the same responsibility and authority. God has given that final authority to the husband. But do not overlook or be misguided in the role. The role requires the ultimate love, the ultimate sacrifice and the ultimate accountability to reach the ultimate purpose. 

Verse 27 states - "and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless."  

I don't know about you, but I wish God had left that part out. Loving like Jesus is tough enough, but having to present her, well, that is really a hugh responsibility. But wait a minute, just think of how proud we would be if we really did the job. Also, think of how proud God would be. What a moment standing before God and hear those words - "well done good and faithful servant. You have been faithful with a few things, I will put you in charge of many things." Matthew 25:21

Would it not be great if we husbands loved our wives as Christ loved the church? Would it not be great if we realized that in all the responsibilities as leader of the home, our greatest responsibility was to spiritually lead our wives into being the person God wanted her to be. I heard someone say recently that the time we should love our wives the least is the day we marry. Happiness is the day we marry, but joy is when we fall in love with the woman we married.