What Does Love Have To Do With Marriage - Love's Acceptance

"All beautiful you are, my darling; there is no flaw in you." Song of Solomon 4: 7

Do you suppose this statement by Solomon is actually true? Was everything about her really beautiful? Was she actually perfect, without any flaws? Whether or not she was actually perfect, she was in the mind of Solomon. So much of our success in our relationship with our wife can depend on the attitude we take concerning her. For Solomon, I believe he took the approach to concentrate on loving her for the beauty and perfection he saw in her. His affections, his admiration for the love of his life, would not allow him to focus on anything in a negative or critical way. The things that were not perfect in her body or character, he was able to see as something good. 

Solomon demonstrates for us the perfect picture of how we should think and act in our relationship with our wives. No one is perfect, not even one of Solomon's hundreds of wives. Yet, all too often after the romantic dust has settled in our marriage, we find ourselves digging a hole with the things we don't like about the once perfect love of our life. If this happens, we soon can find ourselves in the position that somewhere along the line, our work, her work, or taking care of the kids has overtaken each others time and emotions. We begin to feel that we no longer have any feelings for our wife, We live in a world where critical and passive attitudes have taken over. These situations have been faced by virtually every married couple. I almost think that someone wrote these down and passed them out, so that we would feel we had a legitimate reason for our feelings and actions. But in truth, these are real situations. We come to the end of stage two in our marriage, tired and bored. Some of you reading this will say to yourself, that is me. 

Well if you did, I want you to consider a few things. Boredom comes in a marriage because we don't try hard enough to get out of the boredom. We need to find something in which both of us have an interest and we can do it without the kids. We must remember that she is the main and most important person in the family. If the relationship between the husband and wife is broken, then the family is also broken. 

All too often, work, children, sports, and our own self-centeredness comes between our primary purpose to love our wives. And that love is demonstrated by giving full attention and priority to our helpmate and lover in our attitude and actions. Without that, we are living in a house standing on sinking sand

Every couple needs to establish a regular date night, and every so often, a date weekend. These are times just for the two of you. Occasions like this not only build the marriage, but it also builds the family. Our children begin to see how much Mom and Dad love one another. Some of my greatest memories are the times Jeanie and I dropped the kids off with the grandparents and took that private night at our favorite restaurant or the weekend at the beach. The key is to be exciting, have some fun and stretch your imagination a little. For me, those horse rides through the woods with a picnic lunch and a blanket filled the bill.  

I believe Solomon was not only able to find something positive in her short comings, but he also learned to appreciate her strong points. Whether or not you find yourself in one of these negative lifestyles, take a moment and write down everything you like and love about your wife. If a negative comes into mind, learn how to change this negative into a positive, Keep this list, so that you can come back to review and add to it. This may sound a little ridiculous, but it may surprise you at the wounds that are healed and the wonderful things about her that are brought to mind. You may even find yourself with those old romantic feelings sneaking their way back into your heart. 

Those who escape the trap of being tired and bored, made the decision long ago to resist all these negative arrows being shot at the marriage. They can see far enough into the future and have just enough faith in Jesus to believe that it would be a shame to give up in those unhappy moments and to miss out on the joy that is ahead in the remaining years. They also realize that their attitudes and actions not only have consequences on them personally, but also on some innocent children. These children are looking to their parents as a role model for their future.