The Second Stage - The Honeymoon Is Over 

"Houses and land are inherited from parents, But a prudent wife is from the Lord." 

Proverbs 19:14

Why does a honeymoon have to end? For most of us, the honeymoon was a brief period where we spent our first few days living together in an artificial world. It is a time where we continue to carry over some personalities that we made a diligent effort to present to our love before we were married. In other words, maybe it was not totally who we really were. We have only tried to present the good side, with a little exaggeration thrown in. I have placed the first stage of marriage in a five year span. It usually takes about three to five years for all the artificial world of our lives to fade away and the real people show up to live in the real world - and together.      

I consider this second stage in marriage as a new foundation added on to the original foundation we built in starting our marriage. Like the first foundation, this foundation for the second stage is vital to the success of getting through the next stage. It is one of the most critical, if not the most critical stages, we go through in our lives together. This second stage sets the foundation for what will come in the future. 

Why do I say this? Well, it is because life is changing and we need to be able to meet these challenging changes with the foundation of Godly love and the understanding of what God has purposed for each of us in our marriage. Marriage is a wonderful thing. It is the only situation where two people are joined together physically, emotionally, sexually and spiritually. And all this was designed and created by God for us. God created the world(Genesis 1:1), man( Genesis 2:7), the marketplace(Genesis2:15), and then God created marriage between a man and a woman(Genesis 2:26). When we look at the earth and all it's beauty, we naturally think of God . When we see a new baby being born, we marvel at the miracle of God. Yet, when we go to work each day, rarely does anyone think of God as it's creator. Unfortunately, we enter marriage in much the same way. Oh, we use God in the ceremony, but do we really think of our marriage as something designed, planned and created by God. When we buy that engagement ring and get on our knee to propose to the woman we love, do we realize we are entering into a union purposed by God?   

It is only with this foundation that we can enter this world of marriage, as wonderful as it is, and yet, as challenging as it will be in each stage we go through. The second stage is met with recognizing and accepting the challenges that it brings. Discovering the real person we married is one of those challenges. My friend, Charles Page, and I use to marvel at how God had given us our wives, We both thought we were to dumb and blind to pick out the perfect mate. Yet, that is exactly what God had given us. I am impressed with the fact that God personally gets involved with preparing our mate for each of us. That does not mean that we are perfect in personalities, temperaments, interest, and  perspectives on things. It is those differences that make up the perfect couple.

It takes time and patience to understand these differences and to accept them as something good. Many times we can resent these difference - wishing our mate was more interested in the things that interest us.We want them to view things in the same light as we do. If we are not careful, we can use these differences as a opportunity to find faults and the more we place them in this category, the more we create an attitude that separates our lives emotionally and physically. We have to remember God brought her to us, but did not guarantee us she would be perfect. If she had been, she would have never picked us as her husband. 

But these differences can be a tremendous asset if we use them the right way. Our wives can present a different point of view in a matter. She has different gifts and opinions, and can get things done that we cannot. Believe it or not, God made her different for a purpose. It is only when we view and use these differences in a positive way, that our marriage can be all that we want it to be. And this five year stage in our marriage is where the house is built on the foundation. It will either be something beautiful, or it will crumble as the years go by.