Four Stages of Marriage
What Does Love Have To Do With Marriage
"May he kiss me with the kisses of his mouth. For your love is better than wine." Song of Solomon 1: 2
If you were to ask men how they fell in love with the person in whom they married, at least a great part, or, all of the reason, would be because they felt an attraction to them. This attraction stirs something within us that gives us a feeling of "Wow". It is this attraction that propels us to meet, get to know one another, fall in love, and then marry. Love can be described in many ways. It is an excoriating emotional presence that tells us we not only like the person, but we can't bare the thought of not being with them every moment for the rest of our life. We are convinced they are the perfect mate for us for all time. Love is, first of all, a strong emotional feeling.
With a willingness to sacrifice ourselves, love moves us so that we want to do all we can to make the other person happy. She is the most special person in our life. We want to provide for her, to protect her, and bring her along our side as our love mate and let the whole world see we are one. Our feelings and emotions drive us to hold her, caress her, and to fulfill our deepest passion with her.
The Song of Solomon is a beautiful picture of a man and a woman in love. In the first couple of chapters they express to one another their deep feelings for each other. It is a true expression of the picture they have implanted in their heart for their new found love.
On the day of their wedding, Solomon rejoices because his heart is filled with gladness that his love is now his bride. Each is later tormented when the duties and responsibilities of work separates them. They long to be reunited at the end of the day. She becomes his greatest desire and like a seal over his heart. She has become in his eyes as one who finds peace.
This writing of Solomon, expressing his deepest feelings, can be the words of many of us as we dated our wives and later united with them in marriage. It is not something out of the ordinary meant only for Biblical characters. It is, I submit, how all of us felt during those beginning stages in our life together.
There is an old song made popular back in the fifties by Frank Sinatra entitled, "Love and Marriage". The first verse goes something like this; Love and marriage, love and marriage, go together like a horse and carriage. This I tell you brother, you can't have one without the other. Try, Try, Try to separate them, it's an illusion. Try, try, try, and you will only come to this conclusion. Love and marriage, love and marriage, go together like a horse and carriage. This I tell you brother, you can't have one without the other.
Sounds kind of corny today, but the analogy is still true. A carriage is just a piece of some materials until the horse is hooked up. The same is true for the horse, it is just a beautiful animal out in the pasture. But when it is harnessed to the carriage, they both are made complete and their beauty shines bright as they trot through the world together. Love and marriage do go together. Love can be wasted if it is not expressed in union with another. And marriage is a disaster waiting to happen if there is no love.
Love is a beautiful thing between two people. It is a word we desperately grave to hear from someone we love. Love is something we long to express to someone who has our seal over their heart. And yet, it is the most mystifying of feelings we can have. It can completely take over and control everything we do. The absence of love can drive us to deep depression. It can propel us to the height of the heavens as we gaze at the moon and stars with the one we love wrapped in our arms.
And yet after all this, why is it that some few years later, many say they just don't "feel" anything any more. The spark is gone and our feelings tell us we no longer love the once love of our dreams. Is it that love can be more than a feeling? If so, then why do we depend on feelings so much?
