Are You Interested in Becoming a Wise Man?
The hero comes back from this mysterious adventure with the power to bestow boons on his fellow man.
Joseph Campbell, The Hero With a Thousand Faces
I think we can all agree that boys need heroes - role models from whom they can learn how to do great things. Heroes are people (men and women) who inspire and motivate us to stretch beyond what we think is possible. So what happens to us when we grow up? Do we still need heroes? Do we still need people who can inspire and motivate us?
In the years we've been doing this Men's Work, it has become apparent that the world needs more wise men - true elders who support us on our spiritual journey. These wise elders walk with men (and women) who are navigating life's complexity, challenges and multiple transitions. Illuman is in the business of supporting men in growing their wisdom and becoming wise elders.
It's also important to note that every man is called to become a wise elder. This is not something reserved for those who aspire to political office and community or religious leadership. No, all men are called to walk the wisdom journey, for themselves and for others.
So how do we get there?
The first step is to realize that we are programmed to make certain changes in our lives. We grow from child into adult. Then, at some point in our adult lives, we stop looking at the outer world to determine how we should be and what we should do. At this point, we begin to create a life based on who we truly are - who God wants us to be. All men do this, in a great variety of kinds of ways, with greater or lesser degrees of success. It's not clean, it's not quick, and it certainly isn't easy...but it is the call.
To grow as a wise man, it appears we have three straightforward tasks:
- Go inside: to find out who we are
- Go up: to God to discern who God wants us to be
- Go out: to begin creating the life God is calling us into; we do this in community with others
When we look at these three tasks, it is clear that we need support. We have to find wise elders who can help us navigate these critical tasks. We are all unique expressions of God's love in the world, so there is no one single path. Therefore it's important that we connect with the stories and experiences of the wise men we know. They can serve as guides for us in discovering our own wisdom. They can help us find our path to where God dwells. They can walk with us along the spiritual path because this is one they have walked themselves. These elders can lead us in our Journey of Illumanation.
Elders are wise men that are doing their spiritual work. They are deeply connected to what is most important for them. They are alive - connecting easily with other men. The elder keeps his life in balance; he takes the broad view where there are no extremes of response. The wise elder holds no grudges, is not judgmental, and it's clear that he loves all of God's creation deeply. He is concerned with not just nourishing his own journey but being instrumental in nourishing the journeys of others. The elder knows himself and his right place in the world. The wise elder knows that he is a beloved son of God and seeks to project that onto all of his relationships.
We are all invited to become this wise man, to grown in our elderhood. You can certainly do this journey on your own - but would you climb a mountain without a guide? And so it is with this journey; it is easier if you find at least one guide who knows the way and is familiar with the twists and turns of the path.
It is one of the missions of Illuman to support you as you grow into your wise elderhood. Here are some suggestions about what you can do to grow as an Elder.
1. Find a Guide or "Soul Brother." This can be a spiritual director or a man who you know who is doing his spiritual work.
2. Create your own "Soul Brother" Group. You just need 2-3 men to join you. You can meet in person or speak by phone. You simply talk about where God is showing up in your lives and what you are struggling with.
Use some simple guidelines for your group like the following:
a. Recall that you are in God's presence
b. Practice contemplative listening
c. Don't try to fix each other
d. Speak with intention
e. Practice conscious self-monitoring
f. Ask for what you need
g. Offer what you can
h. Observe the "Las Vegas rule" (strict confidentiality)
3. Join an Illuman small group. Illuman has a variety of regional chapters. Please visit the Regional Contacts page on our website to reach a man in your region who can help you join a small group. (Please note that small groups may not be available in all regions.) You can visit our regional contacts page by clicking here.
