Would you like a mid-life crisis or a "manopause"?
In Daniel Levinson's book, The Seasons of a Man's Life, he suggested that men go through a "midlife-transition" that causes a lot of angst. This was the late 1970s and his book was quickly followed by Gail Sheehy's book Passages where she developed Levinson's work and spoke about men having a "mid-life crisis." It was a forgone conclusion that we'd all suddenly want to buy a red convertible, have affairs and start re-living our youth.
Modern research suggests that most men do not have a "crisis" at mid-life. What we do experience is a transition from the "first half of life" to "the second half of life." This is a time when a man wants to have a more meaningful life and feel more alive. This mid-life transition is similar to, and as significant as, the transition from being a boy to being a man. The challenge is that we don't have a lot of guidance on how to make this transition well.
Consider that just over 100 years ago a man's life expectancy was 48 years. We are seeing an unprecedented number of men live into old age. We don't have a map for the territory.
On top of this "midlife transition," medical experts are now suggesting that men start "manopause" as early as 30 years of age. This "manopause"' is characterized by a loss of testosterone leading to moodiness and lots of other symptoms. This gradual loss of vitality can have a big impact on a man and how he views his life.
We all want to flourish in this second half of life. The skills we developed in the first half of life won't support us in second half. We know that this transition provides an opportunity to do some inner work.
At Illuman, we support men who want to do their inner work and deepen their spirituality. A lot of men at mid-life are seeking to establish, re-build, or deepen their relationship with God. Some men decide to commit to participate in our "Journey of Illumination" program (read more here).
Whether you are new to the spiritual journey or a veteran, here are practices that will support you no matter where you are at in your journey:
- Consider working with a spiritual director. You can learn more by visiting: http://sdiworld.org
- Develop a journaling habit to record your thoughts. Google "keeping a spiritual journal" for suggestions on how to keep a journal.
- Develop some sort of a contemplative practice (for example: meditation, walking meditation, lectio divina, yoga, Tai Chi)
- Connect with other men from Illuman who can support you on the journey.
This final recommendation is the most difficult. Men sometimes fear each other and find it difficult to discuss what's really stirring in their lives. Men often see other men as their competitor and want to quickly "fix" problems before they are fully understood. This is why at Illuman we work hard to create a safe space to discuss what really matters. To learn more about events in your region, please view our Events.
UPCOMING MEN'S RITES OF PASSAGE:
Please pray for the success of the upcoming Rites of Passage and consider inviting a man to attend:
Scotland: July 24th - 28th at Perth. To learn more please contact Dave Bingham at dave@mrop.org.uk
California: August 7th - 11th at Camp Tamarack, Central CA. To learn more please contact Steve Conroy at convener@norcalmales.org. If you are an initiated man and would like to attend the Returning Initiated Men event at this MROP please contact Don Bergis at don@regentwm.com or (408) 315.0664
Australia: August 20th - 24th at Somerset Dam, Brisbane. To learn more please contact Center for Men Australia at +6133761120
New York/New Jersey/Connecticut: September 18th - 22nd at Madisonburg, PA.. To learn more please contact Jim Hession at jhessionvcmail@ouboces.org
The Tri-State Region and Central Pennsylvania: September 18-22 at Krislund. Questions may be directed to Central PA Convener, Paul Meister, (814) 777-8112, meisterman747@gmail.com. For more information and to register click here.
