The Dolphin

 

Your Monthly Magazine from Living Happy Center

 Spring 2015   

April - May - June

 

Carole Kane, Editor-in-Chief

Living Happy Center Writers Group:

 

Frank Clark, Nancy Goshorn, Maryann Hall,  

Helene Herman, Dr. Brad Holway, 

Dave Kane, Rev. Victor Langhorne, Dr. Arthur Lewin, 

John Pitsios, Dimitra Savvidou, Tom Stanton 

 

www.livinghappycenter.com  

 

 

 

in this issue
 

Dear Friends,

 

carole 72

 

  

Welcome to the Spring 2015 issue of The Dolphin, where we showcase longer articles and stories from our writers -  wonderful stories you'll love! 

 

This month we offer you a taste of everything!  A beautiful poem; some gardening tips; a conversation about family caregivers; a beekeeper's journey to success; a paradoxical question about the universe; a book review about a fictional world-wide catastrophe; two men preparing to restore a boat;  and a piece of a story about a golden retriever, meditation, and family. 

 

If you'd like to comment on any of our stories, just click here:  comments  

We'd Love to hear from you!    

 - - Carole - -

   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Poetry Corner 

~ ~ May Night ~ ~
 
The spring is fresh and fearless 
And every leaf is new, 
The world is brimmed with moonlight, 
The lilac brimmed with dew.

    
Here in the moving shadows 
I catch my breath and sing -- 
My heart is fresh and fearless 
And over-brimmed with spring.  
 - - Sara Teasdale - - 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 


All About Gardening
 
Master Gardener
(me) 

By Tom Stanton

 

Some years ago, freshly arrived in Derwood, Maryland from New Jersey, I generally viewed greenery as something to be mowed. However, after acquiring a house and several,  profusely illustrated and colorful, gardening books, I decided to garden.

 

The books lied to me of course. Some New York advertising flack, who had never seen so much as a terrarium, tricked me. I was an innocent.  I had mental pictures of herb gardens, flowering trees, an arbor, and a vegetable garden which, the books stated, would "supply all of the fresh vegetables for a family of four as well as a surplus for all of my neighbors", and all on a third of an acre.

 Landscaping

My gardening started with a review of what was growing in front of my house: a silver maple and six euonymus bushes, all compliments of the builder. It was obvious that the gardening book people would not approve of these landscaping specimens. They were not full, graceful, or ferny. Furthermore a neighbor told me that silver maples were brittle and dropped branches in storms, and euonymus bushes were subject to wax scale.

 

So one Saturday, I went off to the local garden outlet for a shovel. Three hours and $75.56 later, I returned with a shovel, rake, hoe, three trowels, fertilizer and a dandelion knife. I couldn't resist the dandelion knife. The package read "just slip it into the ground give it a twist, out comes Mr. Dandelion".

 

I managed to dig out the euonymus bushes, but noticed my hands developing blisters. I put little bandages on the blisters and then decided to move the bushes to the back of the yard as a "grouping for a point of visual interest", as recommended in the gardening books. I figured no one would see the wax scale out there and the "grouping" would help fill up the yard, a barren former pasture.

 

I dragged the bushes to the back and started digging holes. After the bandages and a layer of skin peeled off, I recognized that the red clay of Maryland had the consistency of concrete when dry (also when wet). This meant that my dandelion knife wouldn't work. Frankly, I doubt that anyone has slipped anything into Derwood soil without attaching it to a jack hammer. So back I went to the garden supply store for a pick, gloves, straw hat, water hose, and a pair of clippers (to use on my planned apple orchard), for only $97.39.

 

The details of the bush planting, the expense, the finding of what seemed to be a stone quarry layered into the clay, and the variety and number of insects that I attracted, are among things best forgotten. But, the bushes were planted, and I was on my way to becoming a gardener. I've never gotten around to moving the maple. It is now taller than the house and drops branches during every storm.

 

Tom Stanton is a Master Gardener

(among lots of other things).

  In future issues he'll tell us about

The Roto Tiller, Vegetables, Trees, Ground Cover, and Pest Control.

Prepare yourself! 

 

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 


Thy Brother's Keeper  
A Tribute to Caregivers
 
 
Victor Langhorne, Carole Kane,
 Brad Holway


 

By Various Living Happy Writers
  

Many people today find themselves in the role of caregiver to a loved one. This is a difficult assignment, both physically and mentally, and somewhere in the middle of it all, most caregivers feel very alone; "it's hard to see the forest for the trees", as they say.

 

Recently, Brad Holway shared his essay with several of the Living Happy writers who also were/are caregivers, and a beautiful e-mail discussion resulted. This conversation, from caregivers who have emerged from the "forest", will give those who are still "in the forest" lots of hope and positive reflection.  Here's what they said: 

 

Brad Holway

An Unexpected Step on the Road of Life

When we are young, we imagine our future and the road that lies ahead. We picture the prime of life, our middle years and the twilight that awaits if we live so long. There is one step we never imagine; that is the step of being a caregiver to a family member. It may happen at an early age; for most of us, it happens in our mature years when our own strength and stamina is on the wane. It has happened to me and to many friends, some of whom are contributors to Living Happy/Dolphin.

 

It happened to me in 2012, as my nonagenarian mother's health was failing. I was prepared for it on one level but not prepared on some others. The caregiver phase is trying and draining, both mentally and physically. It is filled with intense emotions, poignant and bittersweet, as we watch the decline of a person who has been part of our lives for as long as we can remember. We try to share memories as the person's lucidity fades; we try to do the best in the face of our own stress, exhaustion and frustration.

 

It is painful. Some of us will escape it; others will not. Those who experience it should seek closure with the dying or disabled person, if possible. Despite the stress and emotional roller-coaster, one should view the caretaker phase as a learning experience, an opportunity to reflect on life itself.

 

Gerald Barnes

Yes, taking care of one's senior citizen parent is/can be "an unexpected step on the road of life".   I, too, was a caregiver for my mother for several years prior to her passing. It was painful. It was stressful. Yet, in the end, I was delivered into a joy, serenity, and peace that I can only describe as a gift from the divine. Words to describe these feelings aren't adequate.   

 

This human experience, while at times magnificent, is also a journey of immense, opposing emotions. We all experience the highs and lows of life. I never imagined I would be taking care of my strong-willed, spiritual and devoted Christian mother.

 

During her care I got the sense that this was one of my life's assignments. As she clung to life, it turned out that the effort, heartbreak, pain and much joy of caring for her assisted in my healing of long buried pains. I got the sense that the universe was assisting me. In the end I realized it wasn't I who was taking care of her. She devoted her last four years to taking care of me.

 

I have lived long enough, and experienced enough, to know in my inner being that life is indeed a spiritual journey. We are blessed when we seek and find our life mission and purpose for being.

 

I was able to release my mother with a knowing that her life was good and that she had served "to the end".   Knowing that she left this life loved and well cared for, and that I was chosen to facilitate this, is perhaps the most important achievement of my life. I'm proud to have been chosen for this task and grateful that it was done in honor, dignity and love.

 

Victor Langhorne

What an unexpected thread of contemporary human society Brad's story evoked. It seems each of us who has been a primary caregiver for an aging or dying relative has a unique response.  

 

I am presently in this role for my 93-year-old cousin/mother.  I brought her into my home permanently this past December.  Caring for her is a life altering, creative experience.   I appreciate the challenge of communicating my love and appreciation for her and of expressing my individuality.

 

I wonder what my children and grandchild are taking away from what they see.  

The events of life are beyond my control.  However, by reinterpreting the events of my life with a positive spin, I believe that I have a beneficial impact.  

 

Carole Kane

My caregiving experience with a very ill loved one has made me truly appreciate my own health and strength. Now, looking back, I feel it was an honor to share his final months with him, even though it was a difficult and wrenching experience.

 

Anthony Ferreira

Each word precisely on target for those of us who have been through this.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  

The Bee Whisperer:  Carolina Honeybees Farm




By Deb Peluso

Charlotte Anderson did not come from a long line of beekeepers. Her curiosity about bees was piqued when she was a child, but it wasn't until years later, when she observed her father-in-law tending his small beekeeping hive, that she began to revisit the idea of having her own hives.  Anderson was fascinated by the process of procuring honey and loved eating fresh, bite-sized nuggets of honeycomb.

 

At the time, Anderson, who earned a B.A. in Education from Clemson University, had a full plate between teaching, gardening, and raising award-winning chickens and horses.  But she couldn't shake her desire to have her own honeybee hives.

 

In her late forties, Anderson's passion to work with bees could no longer be ignored. "I was gonna have to have some bee hives. My life was not going to be complete if I did not get to try it," she said. But it was a long journey from fledgling beekeeper to 2012's South Carolina Beekeeper of the year - an accomplishment not common for women.

 

Charlotte Anderson and her Dad
Photo by  Deb Peluso

Establishing her farm, Carolina Honeybees, with only two hives, she continued studying and connecting with fellow beekeepers around the country. Upon reaching a 25-hive farm, Anderson soon realized she wasn't able to give all her attention to so many hives. She decided that if she focused her attention on fewer hives, she may be able to improve her output with fewer hives. "I decided I was going to cut my hive numbers back to maybe 12. I thought I could be a better bee keeper with 10 or 12. Then my bees wouldn't suffer and I'd probably get about as much honey as I would with the 25."

 

Anderson genuinely loves her bees. "I would like to have a day no bees would die. I know that can't happen but it would be good to have a day no bee would die."  

 

Anderson entered the beekeeping world at a time when things were changing for the honeybee industry. A honeybee parasite, identified as "varroa," began destroying colonies all over the country, including Anderson's. Similar to a flea, they suck blood from the bees, weakening and shortening the bee's life span and even causing developmental issues.

 

Anderson began researching chemical-free methods to keep her hives safe, not wanting to hurt her bees with damaging pesticides. This search for knowledge led Anderson to the next phase of her beekeeping journey.

 

She applied to the South Carolina Beekeepers program, a challenging series of training and tests for certification. Each certification level of the program takes at least two years to complete. Anderson was not deterred by the challenge - in fact, she was propelled by the idea that she could achieve a status that few women have: Master Beekeeper.  

 

In 2012 she was awarded that prestigious honor, and she was also honored as Beekeeper of the Year.

 

Anderson currently spends her time lecturing, volunteering at Hagood Mill, and selling her products at festivals and local farmer's markets, with the help of her father. Her products include 100% pure honey, lip balms, beeswax soaps made with fresh local goat's milk, and 100% beeswax candles.

 

Photo by Deb Peluso

Anderson's success isn't confined to South Carolina. A customer was so enthralled by Anderson's beeswax soaps that she exclusively furnishes her Tuscan villa with them. Anderson smiles proudly, "I was very honored for that. I will never make it to Italy, but my soap will."

 

Be sure to visit 

Charlotte Anderson's blog and online shop 

 

reprinted with permission from OurUpstateSC.info

 

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pick Your Paradox

 

 

By Dr. Arthur Lewin

 

The other day I was still wrestling with the idea of the Big Bang

Trying to wrap my mind around the idea of it

All these many years since I had heard of it

When all of a sudden

I read where they said

Maybe it did not happen

Maybe the universe was always here

 

Say what?

 

It may be that the universe is infinite,

Always was and always will be.

 

But how can that be?

   

 How can that not be?

   

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Book Club Notes   

 

Blindness

written by Jose Saramego
 

   

 

 

by Dimitra Savvidou 

 

 
 
"Now we are all equal regarding good and evil, please, don't ask me what
good and what evil are, we knew what it was each time we had to act when
blindness was an exception, what is right and what is wrong are simply
different ways of understanding our relationships with the others, not that which we have with ourselves, one should not trust the latter, forgive this moralising speech, you do not know, you cannot know, what it means to have eyes in a world in which everyone else is blind."
(Blindness, Jos� Saramago, 2005 Vintage)
 
Jos� Saramago was known to me, though I had never read any of his books.  It is strange to read a story where a mass epidemic of blindness spreads in an unknown town of an unknown country; and equally puzzling when the heroes and heroines have no names. The doctor's wife, the doctor, the girl with dark glasses...  anonymous, and at the same time all so familiar.

I downloaded the Kindle edition.  As I started reading it I was stunningly surprised by the long paragraphs where commas replace periods. The dialogue is not separated from the main text, one just follows the other without any separation or indication.

At first, I thought that the version I downloaded was wrongly edited, yet I kept reading, finding that I could easily read without worrying where the dialogue started or text finished. I realized that I was enjoying its uniqueness. Eventually I found out that this is Saramago's style, and there was nothing wrong with this specific edition.

This is a book full of symbolism on political, human and ... inhuman aspects, raising many questions and thoughts of who we are and who we can become under
certain circumstances - a question I often ask myself when I find my inner self judging others!       
Is there wrong, is there right? Is there punishment for crimes and wrongs? 

The main symbol: the blindness, an illness conquering the majority of the population of that unknown town. One heroine can still see, so she is the one serving the rest when a number of the unnamed protagonists gather in an asylum-type shelter.

We can observe how humans can turn to inhuman when life is threatened;  how a government might react to such an emergency in the form of a true catastrophe. Social order changes fast, and extremism enters into society as well as into individual lives.

What would you do if you lost your sight in addition to lack of food, lack of security, order of life? Could you become a murderer, even for the right reasons? Could you survive facing the cruelty of rape, injustice, hunger, inhumanity? It is up to you to ask the questions if you wish to, no obligation.

The book itself is beautifully written; you find yourself absorbed in that bizarre world, that imaginary town that still is so relevant to our own world/society. Like an ancient tragedy, full of values and questions so relevant to today's modern life.

Many times, I wonder how I might capture the true feelings and beauty of the words as I read books like Don Quixote, War and Peace and Blindness, all written in a foreign language to me, when I am reading them in a different (translated)  language. It is something that I need to accept and learn to live with.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

 

Join Our Mailing List


Going to War

 

 John Pitsios

 

By John Pitsios

   

"The earlier we start, the earlier we'll be heading back." Earl's mental gears are turning. "This guy loves his boat. He's retired and it's like his baby. Get this. He's even got a special cover for the engine."

 

Earl is a seasoned boat man. He has cleaned, painted and restored hundreds of boats. In his mind each project is its own battle. With inimitable style and enthusiasm, he often equates restoration projects with 'going to war.'

 

Goatley is a first season rookie. He reluctantly agrees it is time to get rolling. Postponing a day's worth of physical exertion is a natural reaction.  He is trying to avoid a head full of loathsome anticipation, but after the last all-day boat job, his body continues to radiate aches and pains with every move.

 

Goatley is beginning to learn from experience - a pearl extracted from the tribulations of making a living. You can approach whatever task you're facing with justifiable dread or equally measured optimism.  Either way it's going to get done - by you or by the next available working-class hero.  Like the adage says: "There is only now.  You may as well do it now.  Generally speaking, now is as good a time as any."  He makes a mental wisecrack: Now's a good time for a beachside retreat.

 

Meanwhile Earl is meditating on the current job - visualizing each step. Evaluating the size and condition of the Fiberglass, covers and various metal surfaces. Was a bottle and a half going to get it done?

 

"Can you spot me for a bottle of cleaner-wax? I'll get it back to you after we rock this job out."

"Sure. We have enough Woody Wax too?" asked Goatley.

"Yeah I think so."

"OK. Let's hit Lockwood first - then stop by Reddy's for some nutrients before we make our way to Edison."

 

Step one - They arrive at Lockwood Boat Works, a genuine maritime emporium. A place designed to nurture the visions and dreams of any stripe of sea dog. Goatley is transfixed by thousands of unimagined maritime goods - bronze and stainless hardware, paints, electronic navigation devices, laminated charts, fishing gear, myriad accessories and, of course, cleaner-waxes.

 

Something catches his eye. He's hypnotically drawn in and starts floating, like human driftwood, through the aisles. But the clock is ticking on today's job. Now is not the time for mindless dawdling - one of his favorite hobbies.   He deglazes his mind and reports to the wax department, where Earl is mulling over the options.

 

"This guys' hull is totally for crap - he'll probably need an acid wash."

Goatley nods, "Yep. That stuff's brutally corrosive."

Earl, wide-eyed, takes a breath. "Yeah. We're gonna need some serious abrasion. We're talking gruesome brown algae stains all the way up to the waterline."

 

After deliberations, they head up to the counter.  Goatley considers the additional overhead.  Don't think cost, he muses, think value.

 

Step two - After a quick stop at the deli, Earl points them in the general direction but is relying heavily on his aging cell phone. Theoretically, in the age of Google map directions and GPS, navigation failures would now be extinct. But Murphy's law is in effect. Earl turns his iPhone in 180 degree increments. "Which way is north!?"

 

"So it should have been south on Route 1, is that what you're saying?" Goatley stares slackjawed out at traffic. They've ducked into some roadside parking lot.

 

"Yeahhhh I guess my Google map was sideways," Earl shoots back.

 

Goatley glances down at the radio clock. A quarter to eleven. He practices his zen breathing - 'tranquility now' he thinks. "At least we're not farther away than where we started out. That's a positive development, right?"

 

Twenty minutes later, after another six mile detour, they're in the general vicinity. Earl is on full visual alert. "Ok, It's probably on the left. We're looking for the first twenty-two-foot AquaSport."

 

As Goatley slows down to 20 miles per hour, his eyes dart from driveway to driveway, spying for any trailered boats. "I hope it's got some shade on it. It feels like it's already 89 degrees."

 

Step 3 - They arrive. "There it is!" A boat on a trailer on a sunlit concrete driveway. It's late morning on a clear, bright July day. Nervous apprehension sets in. An hour and a half after starting out, and eight or nine hours to go.

 

Goatley kills the engine. Time to unload the gear, find the owner and get to it.

 

After a deep breath, Earl lets out a guttural tone.  He rotates each of his arms, like alternating windmills and rolls his head completely.

 

"Oh yeah. I'm ready to go to war on this boat."

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Sunrise Lotus (Excerpt)   

Beemer's Meditation
 


   

By Frank Clark 

 

 

 

Sunrise at Sanibel Island, Florida.  The surf gently rolls ashore. Foamy and cool across your feet. Very peaceful at this time of day.

 

"Gram, will you take us to the beach to hunt for sea shells?" says Molly.

"Will you, Gram, will you?" says Joey in an excited voice.

"I will, dears. Let me finish my coffee and danish, then we'll go."  

"Thanks, Gram," say Joey and Molly.  

"Hooray, hooray!"

 

"Ready, kids? In your swim suits? Have your pails? One more thing, I'll need my sea foam pad. It makes it comfortable for me to sit and watch the sunrise."  

 

"We're ready, Gram.   Can Beemer come?" says Joey. "He hasn't had his walk yet, please."

"Okay, come on, Beem. Get his leash. That's a good boy," says Gram.

"This way, Gram," says Joey. "The beach is just over the dune."

Molly and Joey both run ahead. "Down here, Gram, down here."  

Gram steps down from the boardwalk to the sand. The kids run ahead.

"What about Beemer? Take him, too. He'll enjoy his wade and run in the surf. Take him, Joey," says Gram as she looks for the right spot on the sand.

 

"Gram, are you gonna come out, too?" says Molly.

"Not yet, just go and start your hunt. Stay nearby in sight of me. I'll be right here on my green foam pad. Must start my morning meditation. I already see the light of dawn."

 

Gram places her sea foam pad on the sand. She positions herself in a lotus pose. She sits straight up, with both legs crossed, arms relaxed and resting comfortably on her knees. The palms of her hands are open. She is ready to meditate.

 

The sunlight beams her way. With a glow on her face, she closes her eyes. She inhales, then exhales. Inhales, exhales. She begins to chant her mantra. "Hum, hum, aah. Hum, hum, aah. Inhale, exhale. She folds her hands and raises them above her head. "Refresh my heart and soul. Your energy, I receive."

 

"Gram, Gram, look, see, I got shells," said Molly excitedly.

"Indeed, you do, my child. Let's see."

"Gram, are you ready to come out to shore with us?"

"Not yet, honey. Still in meditation. I'll be out in about twenty minutes."

 

"Gram, here's Beemer," says Joey.  " He ran in and out of the water. I think he's ready for a rest. Can he stay with you for awhile?"  

"Of course.  Beemer and I can sun bathe together. Sit here, Beemer. Sit here."

 

Gram is back in lotus position.  Beemer, on the mat beside her, watches as she begins her chant. He seems amused by the sounds she makes and continues to watch her as she meditates. "Hum, hum, aah. Hmm, hmm, aah." Inhale, exhale. Gram raise her arms up above her head with folded hands.

"Refresh my heart and soul. Your energy I receive."

 

Beemer moves around in front of Gram. He looks up at her. Their eyes connect and Gram senses that Beemer wants to join in on her song of day.

"Beemer, you want to receive the light of day?"

Beemer barks with his paws out stretched in front of him.

"Bathe you in the light?"  "Ruff!"  

"Do you want peace and harmony?"  "Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff!"

"Beemer, let me position you so you, too, can receive the light of day."

 

Beemer meditating 

Gram is again in lotus position. Beemer, a large golden retriever, is lying on his back with paws outstretched, his eyes shut.  

"Beemer, you look comfortable, let's begin. Repeat after me:

"Bathe me in your light."  "Arf, arf, woof."

"Bathe me in your peace."  "Arf, arf, arf, woof."

"Bathe me in your love."  "Arf, arf, woof, woof."  

"Peace and harmony."  "Woof, woof, arf, arf."  

Then he pants, "Hah-hah, ha-hah."

 

Gram and Beemer continue to receive the light and energy from the sun. Nearly done,   and here come Joey and Molly.

"Gram, what's wrong with Beemer? Did something happen to him? It's like he's in some sort of trance."

"Beemer is fine. He's in a meditative state. He has fallen into a slumber from the energy of the sun. He is okay."

 

Beemer starts to move his head back and forth; he yawns then begins to pant.   He rises up slowly and sits up looking at the risen sun. Now, he is fully alert and wagging his tail.

"Beemer, you have come back to life," says Joey.

Molly, dripping wet and full of sand, gives Beemer a big hug and a kiss.

 

"Let's go, kids, it's going to be a delightful day," says Gram.

They hold hands while carrying their pails, and Beemer leads the way in peace and harmony.

 

 

See You Next Month!

 

We hope you've enjoyed our stories.

If you'd like to send us comments, just click here:

comments 

 

 Stay happy,  Walk in the sunshine!  

Love your pets, and talk to your plants 

Revel in your family!  Treasure your friends!

  Help your neighbors!  Share your bounty!

Splash in puddles!!

And always, always give thanks !

 

 

 

The Living Happy Writers Group