Your Monthly Magazine from Living Happy Center

January, 2014

Carole Kane, Editor-in-Chief

Living Happy Center Writers Group:

Dear Friends,

Welcome to the January 2014 issue of The Dolphin where we present longer articles from the Living Happy Writers Group.

In this issue we bring you memories, emotions, and a rock band drummer who needs a little help from a friend.

Then Dimitra Savvidou asks: can we decide what to select from our past memories, some of which might be quite painful?

And if you're in the mood to get away from it all, there's a story about traveling along the highest road in the world.

We end the issue with a story about New Year's resolutions - made by Mrs. Midrff,  Mr. Lucky Smoker, Mr. Eros,  Sad Sally, and others... all of whom talk to Dr. Insight.

Happy reading, everyone!  And Happy New Year!   I'll end with one of my favorite quotations:

If you're looking for a happy ending and can't seem to find one, maybe it's time you start looking for a new beginning instead.  - - Ritu Ghatourey 

If you'd like to comment on any of our stories, just click here:  comments  

We'd Love to hear from you!    

 - - Carole - -

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By Nancy Goshorn                               

Dad's mother was always less than happy!  If you asked her, "How are you?" - she'd tell you exactly how bad her life was going, in detail.  I remember the smell of the stairwell in her apartment building (YUK!)   When visiting, I was usually sent into the small room to color and be quiet, or to look at old photo albums that mostly had pictures of people I didn't know, or of my family before I was born.

Sometimes I'd just sit quietly on the plastic-covered couch and watch something on television.  The carpet also had plastic runners that you needed to be sure to walk on, so as not to "ruin" the rug underneath.

I remember there was always a candy dish on the coffee table full of candy, but I was only allowed to have one piece, and it was so tempting to me - I wanted more!  I could never understand what she was saving it for. She'd tell me "guests", but isn't that wh

The type of outfit Grandma would make for me (that's not me in the picture)

at I was?

I remember sitting down for dinner at her table and there was a beautiful painted mural on the wall that I loved to look at, although I can't remember now what the picture was!  The food was usually not my favorite - she was German and it just didn't compare to all the awesomely fatty and sweet Italian food my other grandmother always had - but I never left feeling sick and full either!

I did enjoy visiting with and seeing Grandma; I just wished our visits would end quicker because I was always bored as heck and got super antsy when I was over there!  I remember that she'd often make me homemade clothing, like neon green or peach colored pants with matching shirts (okay, it was the 70's!) and I hated that - but at the same time, I appreciated the fact that she was thinking of me when I wasn't around. 

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Give the Drummer Some 

By Dr. Arthur Lewin

The kid eagerly helped them lug their equipment in. And helped them set up. Back bent and running around the stage. And then there was no place for him to sit.

No, you can't sit here and block me out... said the man on the keyboards.

And so he took the percussion items they let him play and moved on.

And will you please get out of my way .... Said the first lead guitar, the one whose amp was louder than everyone else.

Excuse me said the bass guitar guy.  

And so forth and so on.

They were an ensemble, about seven or eight of them, playing classic rock in medium- size taverns all across the middle of the state.

They played the first song, and. . . Perhaps it was just a tune up. They were pretty flat.  So they had another go at it. Two tune-ups? This was a first!  Three? No such thing!  They did a fourth number, and again only desultory applause.

The dead center of the beat holding them all together

Some of them began to stumble, but a few kept playing on. And the kid was at the dead center of the beat holding them all together.

In time the others rallied round.  And when all was said and done, it was another fantastic gig.

Afterwards as they were packing up to go - they bossed the kid around again just like before, only worse.

Except for the guy on the keyboards.  

That was pretty good, he said. Not bad, he said almost breaking into a smile.

And with that, the kid sort of straightened up. . .  

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By Dave Kane  

The Road-Menders
 

By Dr. Brad Holway  

It was late September, 2013.  My friend Sandeep ("Sandy") Sharma and I boarded a flight from hot, humid Delhi to cool, windswept Leh, the capital of the mountainous Ladakh District.  Sandy was my gracious host in Delhi; in the spirit of adventure, we had decided to visit this little-known place during the waning days of the short Ladakhi summer.

Leh, the key city of India's "Little Tibet", lies at an altitude of some 11,000 feet in the foothills of the Himalayas.  It is a dusty but pleasant city surrounded by orchards and fields where local peasants graze their sheep and yaks.  Ladakhis are ethnically Tibetan but the city is diverse, full of Punjabi shopkeepers and not lacking in adventure travelers, mostly from Europe and Australia. We spent our first day exploring the town, taking in local sights and   

Khardzong-La, the highest road in the world. wilsontom.blogspot.com

acclimatizing ourselves to the altitude.

We hired a driver to take us up to the scenic Nubra Valley the following morning, via the 18,380-foot pass of Khardzong-La, the highest road in the world. Not far from Leh, the asphalt ended and the road turned to gravel, then dirt.  It snaked upward into the steep mountains in ever-sharpening switchbacks.  At about 14,000 feet, the neatly-tended fields and orchards gave way to rocky wastelands and we began to see patches of snow in nooks that lay in shadow.  The titanic peaks of the Himalayas loomed above us, their snowcaps and glaciers glinting white in the sun's glare as clouds scudded by.

It was then I saw them.  Some were working at the roadside, shoring up the shoulders or removing large rocks that threatened to tear out the bottom of any vehicle whose driver failed to avoid them.  Others clustered around fires that burned in large metal garbage cans, warming their hands against the chill air.  I saw their encampments, which appeared to be the type of old army tent that might accommodate a whole platoon.  They were short and wiry men, clad in worn-looking coats. Their dark skin and sharp Caucasian features provided a contrast with the yellow-bronze color and Asiatic looks of the Ladakhis.  They were obviously not locals.

I have known many Indian people over the years and have developed a good eye as to where in the Subcontinent people hail from, but the look of these road-menders confounded me.  I had never seen people who looked like them, so I asked Sandy about their origins.  He replied that they came from Jharkand, an extremely poor state in eastern India.  Sandy went on to explain that Jharkand was so poor that people from there seldom emigrated; they tend to work the most arduous jobs in other parts of India. In particular, they are hired by contractors who do road construction and repair, working in cold mountain areas during the few months when such work is possible.  I thought of the hardships they faced, working in rough conditions, sleeping dormitory-style in those tents in the bitter cold of the mountain nights, far from their tropical homes.  Sandy assured me that they were well-paid; I hope he was right.

We reached the high pass of Khardzong-La just after midday.  It was cold and windy but the view of the towering, snowy peaks was unforgettable.  We took the obligatory photos, had a quick snack and drank some masala tea to warm our chilled bones.

As we began our descent from the pass toward our destination, I thought again about the men who had made our adventure possible.  

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A Promise to Myself 

 By Frank Clark

New Year's Resolutions-2014

"I will give up cigarettes for the fifth time, for real, this year. I first made that promise to myself five years ago, and see I can't let go of even one. Tomorrow, I will give them up for good," said Lucky. "Why not give them up beginning today?" "I just need one more pack and tomorrow, I'll just throw them away,"said Lucky with a smile. "Mr. Smoker, have you thought about a smoking cessation program?" "Never heard of it. My plan will work. Easy as apple pie," said Lucky Smoker as he pulls a single out of his filterless cigarette pack. "You know, you've been quite lucky still in pretty good health. I hope you keep your promise to yourself," said Dr. Insight.

"I have made a promise to myself to make a commitment to one woman. No more playing the field," said Eros. "How are you going to do that?" "I have five of them. I'll just drop one a week. Can't break too many hearts at one time. It just wouldn't be right. I can do it. I'm sure they won't mind." "Why so many women? It's like you are crazed for them. Can you give up all these other women just for one?" "Maybe so, but my eyes are only for Aphrodite now. She will be my only love." "You know to keep a love, you need to develop a relationship." "What's that?," said Eros, a bit puzzled. "It means spending time with her and focusing on her needs and not just your own." "I'll try it, Dr. Insight."

"I will do my homework first, then play. A promise to myself, I know I can keep," said Ernie. "What is your plan?" "Right when I get home after school, I'll have a quick snack and then get right to it. Should only take an hour. When I'm finished, I'll play an iPod game for thirty minutes. I like 'Angry Birds.' I play that on Facebook with some friends. Then I'll review my Facebook posts. I will like most of them, others I'll just delete. Haven't unfriended anyone lately. Hope I haven't been unfriended. I need all the friends I can get. I like to be liked. After two hours on Facebook, I'll be ready to wind down with a scoop of vanilla drizzled with hot caramel syrup. Then off to bed," said Ernie with confidence. "You know, I think you may be overloading yourself. Change your frame of mind about homework to an opportunity to learn. Back off on Facebook a little. Think about cutting your time back to an hour. Ernie, there are many addicted to Facebook. So, keep your promise to yourself. Next session, give me an update on how well you have managed your time," said Dr. Insight.

"I have promised to myself to spend quality time with my family this year. Every week," said James. "How much time?" "On Monday, that's my day off. Only time for me. Thirty minutes with the kids on Tuesday and Thursday.  Sixty minutes with Marge on Wednesday. Breakfast, thirty minutes. She will have lunch for me at noon. That will be the other thirty minutes together. On Friday, it's poker night with the guys. Saturday, it's golf all day long."  "One day left, James. It's Sunday. Anything spiritual?" "Don't think so. No time for God. He understands. I'm too busy for him." "You need to get your priorities in order. You haven't given up anything. It's all about you and your needs. Your family needs you, and believe it or not, God needs time with you," said Dr. Insight.

"I'm resigned to doing nothing again this year. Nothing ever changes. I never keep any resolutions. No promises to myself. My life will be the same. That's fine with me. I can't change," said Sad Sally. "Are you sure you can't change? You do spend a lot of time alone. How about making a life for yourself?"  "It's time to take care of you. You deserve it. Get out of bed. Fix yourself a light breakfast. Take a morning walk. Greet a neighbor with a smile. Volunteer to help someone," said Dr. Insight. "You may be right, Dr. Insight. Usually I take my pills to numb my sadness and then do nothing for the rest of the day. But, I do need my medicine." "Then, take your medication, as your doctor prescribed. Most of all, enjoy your day, every day. Even if it's just for you," said Dr. Insight with a bright smile.

So, what about New Year's resolutions, forget about them? Not really, it's how you view them. If you think of them as giving something up, they will be harder to keep. But, if you think you will gain something from them, then keep your promise to yourself. You are worth it. Just make "a promise to myself".

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See You Next Month!

We hope you've enjoyed our stories.

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 Stay happy,  Walk in the sunshine!  

Love your pets, and talk to your plants 

Revel in your family!  Treasure your friends!

  Help your neighbors!  Share your bounty!

Splash in puddles!!

And always, always give thanks !

The Living Happy Writers Group