The Dolphin

 

Your Monthly Magazine from Living Happy Center

January, 2014

    

 

 

 

Carole Kane, Editor-in-Chief

 

Living Happy Center Writers Group:

 

Frank Clark, Nancy Goshorn, Maryann Hall, Glynis Hedley,  

Helene Herman, Bob Hogan

Dr. Brad Holway,  Dave Kane,

Rev. Victor Langhorne, Dr. Arthur Lewin, 

Debra Sanchez, Dimitra Savvidou

 

www.livinghappycenter.com  

 

 

 

in this issue
Jack Frost - by Helen Bayley Davis
Memories - Two Loving Grandmas, Two Different Worlds - by Nancy Goshorn
Give the Drummer Some - by Dr. Arthur Lewin
Don't Worry, Be Happy - By Dave Kane
Creating and Separating Emotions - By Dimitra Savvdou
The Road-Menders - by Dr. Brad Holway
A Promise to Myself - by Frank Clark
 

Dear Friends,

 

carole jan 13 13

 

Welcome to the January 2014 issue of The Dolphin where we present longer articles from the Living Happy Writers Group.

 

In this issue we bring you memories, emotions, and a rock band drummer who needs a little help from a friend.

 

Then Dimitra Savvidou asks: can we decide what to select from our past memories, some of which might be quite painful?

 

And if you're in the mood to get away from it all, there's a story about traveling along the highest road in the world.

 

We end the issue with a story about New Year's resolutions - made by Mrs. Midrff,  Mr. Lucky Smoker, Mr. Eros,  Sad Sally, and others... all of whom talk to Dr. Insight.

 

Happy reading, everyone!  And Happy New Year!   I'll end with one of my favorite quotations:

If you're looking for a happy ending and can't seem to find one, maybe it's time you start looking for a new beginning instead.  - - Ritu Ghatourey 

 

If you'd like to comment on any of our stories, just click here:  comments  

We'd Love to hear from you!    

 - - Carole - -

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Poetry Corner 

Jack Frost
By Helen Bayley Davis
www.winterandkids.com


Jack Frost Was Here!

Someone painted pictures on my

Windowpane last night


Willow trees with trailing boughs
And flowers, frosty white,

 

And lovely crystal butterflies;
But when the morning sun


Touched them with its golden beams,
They vanished one by one.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Memories:  Two Loving Grandmas, Two Different Worlds

nancy
 
By Nancy Goshorn
                              

 

Mom's mother was always cooking.  I loved her so much!  She was so positive all the time, and full of love for everyone.  She was an  awesome Italian woman who cooked awesome Italian food. (I am not Italian; she was actually my step-grandmother, as my mother's natural mother passed away when Mom was just 3 years old).  I often ended up sick when we left her house, because I'd eat so much.  

My grandparents lived in a row house in Brooklyn, New York, on the second floor - but they shared a yard with the lady downstairs and they grew a garden full of fresh veggies that they'd cook.  I remember how cool I thought her laundry line was, coming from that second-floor window.  I remember walking to the grocery store with Grandma when she'd watch me in the summer sometimes, if my parents went on vacation.  She had a small shopping cart that she'd wheel the bags back home in.  I remember the little store around the block that she'd send me to go buy Tootsie Pops for us.  (I still love Tootsie Pops!)  And the big grandfather clock in her living room.  I remember her watching "As the World Turns" and "Days of Our Lives" - the first soap operas I was ever aware of.  I also remember her poodle, Fifi, and how funny it was when you'd wiggle the broom in the little nook between the fridge and the wall, and the dog would go nuts barking and growling, and wagging its tail.

Mostly, I remember thinking to myself, "When I grow up, I'm going to come visit Grandma all the time -   but she passed away when I was just 18, soon after my first daughter was born.    To this day, I sometimes dream of Grandma.  Once in a while I'll pass someone in a store who'll catch the corner of my eye and make me look - thinking it's her - even though I know that's impossible!

Dad's mother was always less than happy!  If you asked her, "How are you?" - she'd tell you exactly how bad her life was going, in detail.  I remember the smell of the stairwell in her apartment building (YUK!)   When visiting, I was usually sent into the small room to color and be quiet, or to look at old photo albums that mostly had pictures of people I didn't know, or of my family before I was born.

Sometimes I'd just sit quietly on the plastic-covered couch and watch something on television.  The carpet also had plastic runners that you needed to be sure to walk on, so as not to "ruin" the rug underneath.

I remember there was always a candy dish on the coffee table full of candy, but I was only allowed to have one piece, and it was so tempting to me - I wanted more!  I could never understand what she was saving it for. She'd tell me "guests", but isn't that wh
The type of outfit Grandma would make for me
(that's not me in the picture)
at I was?

I remember sitting down for dinner at her table and there was a beautiful painted mural on the wall that I loved to look at, although I can't remember now what the picture was!  The food was usually not my favorite - she was German and it just didn't compare to all the awesomely fatty and sweet Italian food my other grandmother always had - but I never left feeling sick and full either!

I did enjoy visiting with and seeing Grandma; I just wished our visits would end quicker because I was always bored as heck and got super antsy when I was over there!  I remember that she'd often make me homemade clothing, like neon green or peach colored pants with matching shirts (okay, it was the 70's!) and I hated that - but at the same time, I appreciated the fact that she was thinking of me when I wasn't around. 

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

   

Give the Drummer Some 


By Dr. Arthur Lewin

The kid eagerly helped them lug their equipment in. And helped them set up. Back bent and running around the stage. And then there was no place for him to sit.

 

No, you can't sit here and block me out... said the man on the keyboards.

 

And so he took the percussion items they let him play and moved on.

 

And will you please get out of my way .... Said the first lead guitar, the one whose amp was louder than everyone else.

 

Excuse me said the bass guitar guy.  

 

And so forth and so on.

 

They were an ensemble, about seven or eight of them, playing classic rock in medium- size taverns all across the middle of the state.

 

They played the first song, and. . . Perhaps it was just a tune up. They were pretty flat.  So they had another go at it. Two tune-ups? This was a first!  Three? No such thing!  They did a fourth number, and again only desultory applause.

 

The dead center of the beat holding them all together

Some of them began to stumble, but a few kept playing on. And the kid was at the dead center of the beat holding them all together.

 

In time the others rallied round.  And when all was said and done, it was another fantastic gig.

 

Afterwards as they were packing up to go - they bossed the kid around again just like before, only worse.

 

Except for the guy on the keyboards.  

That was pretty good, he said. Not bad, he said almost breaking into a smile.

 

And with that, the kid sort of straightened up. . .  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

 


Don't Worry, Be Happy 

 

 

By Dave Kane  

 
I've been miserable for the last few years, but I'm over that now and will never do it again.  It didn't help me or the ones I love.  It made me even more depressed.  It stopped me from being me.  It was contagious.  I oozed anger and sadness, and most other people around me couldn't help but feel bad too.

Oh, I had reasons.  Bad things had happened to some that I love, other people did things that hurt me, I was in physical pain and had health issues, my income disappeared, and I was turning into a grump. I would sit around and think of reasons.  I was good at it.  I stopped doing all of the things I like.  I distanced myself from my family and friends.  I became someone that I didn't like at all.  Boy, that made me even more angry and sad.

 

Before this happened to me, I was happy with me.  I felt good all of the time and laughed a lot.  I tried to be there for my family and friends whenever I could.  I would love to make people happy and laugh.  At times when things went wrong or got stressful, I would let it roll over my shoulders while doing my best to fix it.  I was what you might call an easy going guy.  I like that.

 

I am now myself again and plan to stay me.  Why?  Because I like liking me.  I don't like hating me.  It doesn't feel good.  All of the people in my life will get the best from me.  There is no person or thing powerful enough to change me, and there is nothing anyone, currently in my life, can do to make me stop loving them.

 

It's really easy to go to the dark side.  It takes some effort to stay positive and strong for the others in your life.  I got lazy and let the evil get me.  I paid the price.  I lost four years of happiness.  The rewards you get from being happy and giving are never ending.  The happiness is contagious too.  You will be surrounded by happy fun people.  That is so much better than bringing everyone else to the dark side.  Never ever again.   

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 

Creating and Separating Emotions

By Dimitra Savvdou 

 

"The warrior has memories, but he learns how to separate the useful from the unnecessary; he disposes of his emotional rubbish."

(Manual of the Warrior of Light by Paulo Coelho; Harper Collins; 5th edition, 2005)

 

I'm putting on my "counsellor's hat" again,  mostly to ask a question, hoping that some feedback will grow my understanding.   We feel emotions, we think thoughts, and we know that what we think, we feel. In time we act upon it.

 

Paulo's statement, above, provokes plenty of food for thought.  He declares that the warrior LEARNS to separate, he DISPOSES of his emotional rubbish.  Reading it, I picture human nature being very active, learning how to create emotional things rather than just feeling them; and disposing of feelings, beliefs, facts, acts, incidents.

My question is: can we learn to do so? Can we decide what to select from our past experiences, some rather painful?  There are many theories and practices supporting that certainly, we can! Whether it happens or not depends upon the individual, not the environment. There are many testimonies confirming  this.   Many claim that's what happiness is.

What do you "think" or "feel" about it?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Road-Menders
 

By Dr. Brad Holway  

 

It was late September, 2013.  My friend Sandeep ("Sandy") Sharma and I boarded a flight from hot, humid Delhi to cool, windswept Leh, the capital of the mountainous Ladakh District.  Sandy was my gracious host in Delhi; in the spirit of adventure, we had decided to visit this little-known place during the waning days of the short Ladakhi summer.

 

Leh, the key city of India's "Little Tibet", lies at an altitude of some 11,000 feet in the foothills of the Himalayas.  It is a dusty but pleasant city surrounded by orchards and fields where local peasants graze their sheep and yaks.  Ladakhis are ethnically Tibetan but the city is diverse, full of Punjabi shopkeepers and not lacking in adventure travelers, mostly from Europe and Australia. We spent our first day exploring the town, taking in local sights and   

Khardzong-La, the highest road in the world.

acclimatizing ourselves to the altitude.

 

We hired a driver to take us up to the scenic Nubra Valley the following morning, via the 18,380-foot pass of Khardzong-La, the highest road in the world. Not far from Leh, the asphalt ended and the road turned to gravel, then dirt.  It snaked upward into the steep mountains in ever-sharpening switchbacks.  At about 14,000 feet, the neatly-tended fields and orchards gave way to rocky wastelands and we began to see patches of snow in nooks that lay in shadow.  The titanic peaks of the Himalayas loomed above us, their snowcaps and glaciers glinting white in the sun's glare as clouds scudded by.

   

It was then I saw them.  Some were working at the roadside, shoring up the shoulders or removing large rocks that threatened to tear out the bottom of any vehicle whose driver failed to avoid them.  Others clustered around fires that burned in large metal garbage cans, warming their hands against the chill air.  I saw their encampments, which appeared to be the type of old army tent that might accommodate a whole platoon.  They were short and wiry men, clad in worn-looking coats. Their dark skin and sharp Caucasian features provided a contrast with the yellow-bronze color and Asiatic looks of the Ladakhis.  They were obviously not locals.

 

I have known many Indian people over the years and have developed a good eye as to where in the Subcontinent people hail from, but the look of these road-menders confounded me.  I had never seen people who looked like them, so I asked Sandy about their origins.  He replied that they came from Jharkand, an extremely poor state in eastern India.  Sandy went on to explain that Jharkand was so poor that people from there seldom emigrated; they tend to work the most arduous jobs in other parts of India. In particular, they are hired by contractors who do road construction and repair, working in cold mountain areas during the few months when such work is possible.  I thought of the hardships they faced, working in rough conditions, sleeping dormitory-style in those tents in the bitter cold of the mountain nights, far from their tropical homes.  Sandy assured me that they were well-paid; I hope he was right.

 

We reached the high pass of Khardzong-La just after midday.  It was cold and windy but the view of the towering, snowy peaks was unforgettable.  We took the obligatory photos, had a quick snack and drank some masala tea to warm our chilled bones.

 

As we began our descent from the pass toward our destination, I thought again about the men who had made our adventure possible.  

    

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

A Promise to Myself 

        

 

 By Frank Clark

 

New Year's Resolutions-2014

 

"I'm going to lose fifty pounds this year. I'm doing it for Jack. He seems to have lost interest in me." "That's a hefty challenge. What are you going to do?""Walk with my girlfriends around the building three times on our lunch breaks. That's about a mile. So, I will walk five miles per week." "Mrs. Midriff, have you thought about changing your diet?" "I don't plan to change my diet. It's as easy as a cake walk." "You said you were doing it for Jack." "Well, if I don't, I will lose him," said Mrs. Midriff in a bit of a sad tone of voice. "If you're doing it for someone else, it's not fair to you. Think about a water aerobics class. Here's her card. Carole will help you get into shape and she makes it fun. Think about it," said Dr. Insight.

"I will give up cigarettes for the fifth time, for real, this year. I first made that promise to myself five years ago, and see I can't let go of even one. Tomorrow, I will give them up for good," said Lucky. "Why not give them up beginning today?" "I just need one more pack and tomorrow, I'll just throw them away,"said Lucky with a smile. "Mr. Smoker, have you thought about a smoking cessation program?" "Never heard of it. My plan will work. Easy as apple pie," said Lucky Smoker as he pulls a single out of his filterless cigarette pack. "You know, you've been quite lucky still in pretty good health. I hope you keep your promise to yourself," said Dr. Insight.

 

"I have made a promise to myself to make a commitment to one woman. No more playing the field," said Eros. "How are you going to do that?" "I have five of them. I'll just drop one a week. Can't break too many hearts at one time. It just wouldn't be right. I can do it. I'm sure they won't mind." "Why so many women? It's like you are crazed for them. Can you give up all these other women just for one?" "Maybe so, but my eyes are only for Aphrodite now. She will be my only love." "You know to keep a love, you need to develop a relationship." "What's that?," said Eros, a bit puzzled. "It means spending time with her and focusing on her needs and not just your own." "I'll try it, Dr. Insight."

 

"I will do my homework first, then play. A promise to myself, I know I can keep," said Ernie. "What is your plan?" "Right when I get home after school, I'll have a quick snack and then get right to it. Should only take an hour. When I'm finished, I'll play an iPod game for thirty minutes. I like 'Angry Birds.' I play that on Facebook with some friends. Then I'll review my Facebook posts. I will like most of them, others I'll just delete. Haven't unfriended anyone lately. Hope I haven't been unfriended. I need all the friends I can get. I like to be liked. After two hours on Facebook, I'll be ready to wind down with a scoop of vanilla drizzled with hot caramel syrup. Then off to bed," said Ernie with confidence. "You know, I think you may be overloading yourself. Change your frame of mind about homework to an opportunity to learn. Back off on Facebook a little. Think about cutting your time back to an hour. Ernie, there are many addicted to Facebook. So, keep your promise to yourself. Next session, give me an update on how well you have managed your time," said Dr. Insight.

 

"I have promised to myself to spend quality time with my family this year. Every week," said James. "How much time?" "On Monday, that's my day off. Only time for me. Thirty minutes with the kids on Tuesday and Thursday.  Sixty minutes with Marge on Wednesday. Breakfast, thirty minutes. She will have lunch for me at noon. That will be the other thirty minutes together. On Friday, it's poker night with the guys. Saturday, it's golf all day long."  "One day left, James. It's Sunday. Anything spiritual?" "Don't think so. No time for God. He understands. I'm too busy for him." "You need to get your priorities in order. You haven't given up anything. It's all about you and your needs. Your family needs you, and believe it or not, God needs time with you," said Dr. Insight.

 

"I'm resigned to doing nothing again this year. Nothing ever changes. I never keep any resolutions. No promises to myself. My life will be the same. That's fine with me. I can't change," said Sad Sally. "Are you sure you can't change? You do spend a lot of time alone. How about making a life for yourself?"  "It's time to take care of you. You deserve it. Get out of bed. Fix yourself a light breakfast. Take a morning walk. Greet a neighbor with a smile. Volunteer to help someone," said Dr. Insight. "You may be right, Dr. Insight. Usually I take my pills to numb my sadness and then do nothing for the rest of the day. But, I do need my medicine." "Then, take your medication, as your doctor prescribed. Most of all, enjoy your day, every day. Even if it's just for you," said Dr. Insight with a bright smile.

 

So, what about New Year's resolutions, forget about them? Not really, it's how you view them. If you think of them as giving something up, they will be harder to keep. But, if you think you will gain something from them, then keep your promise to yourself. You are worth it. Just make "a promise to myself".

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

 

 
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 Stay happy,  Walk in the sunshine!  

Love your pets, and talk to your plants 

Revel in your family!  Treasure your friends!

  Help your neighbors!  Share your bounty!

Splash in puddles!!

And always, always give thanks !

 

 

 

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