The Dolphin

 

Your Monthly Magazine from Living Happy Center

December 2012   

 

Carole Kane, Editor-in-Chief

 

Living Happy Center Writers Group:

 

Frank Clark, Maryann Hall, Glynis Hedley,  

Helene Herman, Dr. Brad Holway, Bob Hogan,    

Rev. Victor Langhorne, Dr. Arthur Lewin,

Joyce Magnavito, Josephine Pico, Debra Sanchez,

Dimitra Savvidou, Don Seiler, Jr., Tom Stanton 

 

www.livinghappycenter.com  

 

 

 

in this issue
The Silence of Winter - by Josephine Pico
Wild, Sexy Advice from Patty's Married Sister - by Carole Kane
To A Tree In Wyoming - By Dr. Arthur Lewin
Observations - The Words We Use - By Bob Hogan
True Intimacy - By Dimitra Savvidou
 

Dear Friends,

 

Welcome to the December 2012 issue of The Dolphin, where we  feature longer articles from the Living Happy Writers Group

 

This issue is packed with gems - a writer's and reader's feast!  We start with Jo Pico's simple and picturesque poem "The Silence of Winter".  You will love it.  Then see how long it takes you before you're laughing out loud, as you read my article "Wild, Sexy Advice From Patty's Married Sister".    Next, enjoy a little bit of Arthur Lewin's philosophy in "To A Tree In Wyoming".  

 

Then, Bob Hogan talks about some newer words and expressions that pop up, in his "Observations:  The Words We Use".  He got me thinking!    And next, Dimitra Savvidou brings her counselor's wisdom to us in her very interesting essay, "True Intimacy".

 

Happy reading!   

 

- - Carole - -

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Silence of Winter 

by Josephine Pico

 

 

The Silence of Winter

And so it begins, The flakes start to fall

The silence of winter Is shouting her call.

 

The flowering blossoms Now droop in despair

The trees are all frozen Their branches are bare.

 

The days have grown shorter The sun sends no ray

So bundle up warmly And rush out to play.

 

A snowball, a snowman A skate on the ice

Sledding the hills That sure would be nice.

 

You stare at the skies And stick out your tongue

The silence of winter Has just begun.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wild, Sexy Advice from Patty's Married Sister
(Please pass me another pastry)

                       

 

 

 By Carole Kane    

   

Laura fastened the tape on little Joe's diaper and slipped his tiny blue pants over it. Then she handed him to Patria. "Here, just let me warm his bottle and I'll let him drink it in the crib."

 

Chuck stood near the refrigerator feeding Felicia, his mouth assuming the same shape as she sucked at the bottle.

 

"Boy, you two act like old hands with the twins," Patria said, smiling. Through the kitchen window she could hear her own kids, Brian and Greg, splashing noisily in the small wading pool on Laura's patio. It was hot! Ninety-two and not even noon yet!

 

Josefina and Felice were coming later, too. They always spent Labor Day with the family in Clover Park.  Felice had picked up an old car cheap just last week, and so Chuck wouldn't have to go get them today. And they were bringing fireworks for the kids to watch later in the evening - compliments of The Fence.

 

"You think we ought to barbecue the sausages, or put them in the gravy?" Laura asked as she came back from the nursery.

 

"Let's barbecue them," Chuck said. "It's too hot to be in the kitchen cooking all day."   Then he turned towards the window and called to the boys, "Hey, leave some water for me!"   He left the women to gossip and make the salads while he cooled his feet with his nephews.

 

Patria leaned across the table toward Laura, her voice almost a whisper. "You know, I love him, but I thought he'd never leave!" she said confidentially. "I'm dying to talk to you!"

 

Laura grinned. "What's up?" She started peeling the cold boiled potatoes for potato salad.

 

"Brooke and I have a date next Thursday," Patria blurted excitedly.

 

"Well, what do you know! It's about time! Tell me all about it!" Laura put down her knife and stared at her sister, eyes wide with interest.  

 

"Well - we finally made a date for Thursday. It's the first day we'll both be free. We're gonna leave from the office and take the whole day off together." Patria sighed heavily and reached for a pretzel. "Laura, I'm dying! I can't wait! But - I'm afraid I'm going to make a fool of myself."

 

Laura brought the coffee to the table. This was going to be a whole-pot kind of conversation. She refilled their mugs and sat down closer to Patria, eager to hear more. The salads could wait. "What's the big problem?"

 

Patria's face began to flush. "Well - I - I - Dammit! Here I am, thirty-one years old, and I'm still embarrassed to talk about this, even with you."

 

"Will you get on with it!" Laura squirmed with impatience. "Mama and Papa Ricci will be here soon, and we won't have another chance to talk alone all day. Forget the embarrassment! Talk already!"

 

"I need some advice," Patria said, absently tearing her napkin to shreds. Her blush deepened. "I mean - well, I just don't know what to do with Brooke. I've kind of hinted - all these months - actually I've been teasing the hell out of him - anyway, I've given the impression that I'm a real hot number." She stared at the napkin in her lap. "And I really don't know much at all. Peter was always pretty conservative. We never - "

 

"Patty, I know what you're getting at," Laura interrupted, grinning. "And believe me, men think sex is great any old way. You don't have to hang from the ceiling with your big toe in the light socket and your finger up his nose!"

  womenlaughing together cartoon

"You're crazy, Laura!" Patria burst out laughing. How could she be embarrassed when Laura was such a nut!

 

They split a cheese Danish, still chuckling, and between bites Patria discussed her strategy. "I've got a couple of books put out by Cosmopolitan, with some interesting ideas," she said. "The one I like is, you get a can of Reddi-Wip - "

 

"You would!" Laura said, giggling. "Whipped cream was always your favorite food."

 

"Let me finish," Patria said, gesturing for her to be still. "You're supposed to spray it on and - " she hesitated.

 

"Well? Don't stop now!" Laura said expectantly.

 

"...and lick it off!" Patria's face was burning again. "What I'd like to know is, where do you put the can before you're ready? You can't walk around holding it - and besides, it might get sour - "   

 

Laura interrupted her with another howl. "You better forget that!" she whooped. "Imagine licking off sour Reddi-Wip? You'd ruin the whole thing by getting sick!" She cut into a second Danish, her old devilish grin returning. "How about you apply Cool-Whip all over him with a rubber spatula? That's non-dairy, and you don't have to worry about problem souring. And you'll be saving the environment from an aerosol can!"

 

Patria shook her head and grinned. "I can see where you're gonna be a great help!"

 

Three cups of coffee and two pastries later, they had run the gamut from the ninety-nine positions to massages and champagne baths, and each was totally convinced that the other knew nothing at all about sex!

 

"I haven't laughed so much in ages," Laura said. "My stomach hurts from laughing."

 

"Mine, too," Patria agreed. "But I'm still back where I started - no thanks to you." She poked Laura in the ribs playfully. "I guess I'll just act like I know what I'm doing and play it by ear. After all, he doesn't know what I've done before, right?"

 

The sound of crunching gravel drifted in through the window. Josie and Felice were parking in the driveway.

 

"Well, that ends that!" Laura said, grabbing her knife and hastily peeling potatoes.

She turned back to her sister for a moment and said, "Patty, you've got to call me Thursday night - I don't care what time you call. I'll wait up. I can't wait to hear what happens!"

 

Josie was huffing through the patio, half-dragging two overflowing bags of presents for all the kids. In a moment she'd be in the kitchen.

 

"I promise," Patria whispered. Then she winked at Laura and teased, "I'll make you a tape recording."

 

Adapted from A Dream of Roman Candles by Carole Kane

Take a look at the book:

A Dream of Roman Candles by Carole Kane  

  Dream Book

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To A Tree in Wyoming

      

 

 By Dr. Arthur Lewin  

  

To a tree in Wyoming, on a forgotten side of a mountain that was never remembered, to a scrub brush in an Arizona mesa upon which no human foot has trod in a thousand years, or maybe never. I write to you.  I pay homage to you, to your rootedness in the dirt that birthed you. Kin to the soil and sea that birthed me too, and everything I see in my room, house, city, and country. We are all one, living thing. We come from the same place, and are headed to the same fate. I am one with you, you are one with me. I have glimpsed your kin in the vistas behind the make-believe action of cowboy movies, thou forgotten tree, shrub, cactus, mediator between earth and sky, just like I.  
Wyoming Pine Tree
NP1976 - Ponderosa pine tree at Devil's Tower. �Jerry Mercier
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Observations - The Words We Use

  
writer reporter

By Bob Hogan                           

 

Certain words and expressions find their way into everyday usage in our desire to facilitate communication. Do you notice lately the more frequent use of such words and expressions  as 'cusp', 'horrific' and 'zero tolerance'?

 

Do expressions communicate what is meant? When the traffic reporter says that a road is 'subject to closure', is it really closed or only 'subject to' being closed? And how about the overuse of the word 'like'? The constant use of this word is often referred to as a conversational tic and is especially common among teenagers and young adults, who are often reluctant to express themselves more specifically.

 

A subtle criticism of another can be enhanced by suggesting that person is 'a poster boy for' one thing or another. Even if the main source of the criticism fails, the charger has still labeled his target as a 'boy.'

 

Then there are expressions which are quite meaningless and add nothing to the communication. What does 'as we know it' add to a sentence? Can we conclude that someone is feeling somewhat self important when, after making a statement, he bolsters it with the expression 'having said that'?  Or the person who elevates both himself and you in commenting on an event occurring 'as we speak'?

 

Road Closed sign
Like, yeah, it's closed even as we speak!

In conversational manners, the wishing or hoping for someone has evolved to the imperative. We no longer wish someone a nice day, we direct them to 'have' a nice day, meal, etc. There's an assumption that if something is good for someone we are free to direct them to 'go for it.'  

 

Paradoxically, there seems to be a growing reluctance to be forceful in signage. 'No Smoking' signs are often altered to signs declaring a 'smoke free zone;' staying back from the edge of the train platform is no longer a harsh warning but a means of 'prolonging life.'

 

In writing, we are often deluged with the overuse of the exclamation point to denote excitement. F. Scott Fitzgerald said that a person who uses the exclamation point rather than words to describe excitement is a person who laughs at his own jokes.

 

But what about those expressions that truly enhance our ability to communicate? Have you been asked for the '411' on something? The term '24/7' has found a useful niche to describe around the clock availability; and so has 'perp' to identify the person who has committed a criminal act.

 

So, think about it... The words and expressions we use are our tools of communication; that is the major point of this article, which I hope 'sends a message'.   

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

True Intimacy
  

 

by Dimitra Savvidou 

 

"True intimacy requires transparency and vulnerability, honesty and acceptance and trust. True intimacy requires deciding to love."   - author unknown

 

I have a choice of ways to keep my notes when I read or when I think and write. I use a notebook - the original paper ones...not the digital ones - or a voice recorder, and mostly pieces of papers here and there, sometimes my laptop's recorder or word files, even my mobile phone's recorder. Every now and then, I re-discover notes in the same manner as when we find money - in the old jeans' back pocket!

 

Such a note is the above one regarding intimacy. My apologies to whoever wrote the article or book, I can't recall where I read this paragraph but today takes shape in what is True Intimacy.

 

I believe that the definition of intimacy is accurately described. I feel that this is a great guideline to recognize whether we are in intimacy with someone else or whether that person is with us.

 

The five elements: Transparency; Vulnerability;  Honesty; Acceptance; Trust.

 

Transparency is to say what you have to say; being straightforward but not unkind or impolite. I think that transparency and trust are strongly connected. How can I trust when I feel that there is no transparency? How can I trust when there is no honesty? How can I trust when there is no acceptance?

 

Vulnerability is open to act when there is acceptance; I can be just myself - embracing my soft or tough characteristics - just because I have been accepted as I am. Accepted as I am by that other person and by my own self!

 

Honesty is understood in diverse ways. Some people believe it is just about not lying. I strongly disagree! A person who lies is a liar but honesty is more than that. Yes, when we say a lie, we are liars; but when we do not say a part of the truth - the whole truth - we are dishonest. When we manipulate our sayings in a way that we do not lie but say not much, especially important things, then there is no honesty or transparency.

 

The five elements of Transparency, Vulnerability, Honesty, Acceptance and Trust define Love, don't they? Intimacy is about love and love is about intimacy!

  honesty trust respect cartoon

I like the part that says "True intimacy requires deciding to love." It reminds me of what a friend once said to me: "Love is a decision!" You might ask: "How can a feeling be just a decision?" It is our thoughts which create our feelings - most of the times - and a few times it is just our instincts.

 

Obviously, if my thought is " I hate that guy", "I can't stand you" or "Oh, I get bored"...no loving feelings will appear or be felt or grow! When I decide to love, I will take the time to learn more about that person, I will try to understand. Nevertheless, even loving someone doesn't mean that I can stand him/her! We might never connect but still we can walk along in life.

 

Just a thought!

 

Dimitra Savvidou

Writing, Teaching, Counselling

 

www.lovingministry.net

www.lovingministry.org

 

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

See You Next Month!

 

We hope you've enjoyed our stories.

 

 Stay happy,  Walk in the sunshine!  

Love your pets, and talk to your plants 

Revel in your family!  Treasure your friends!

  Help your neighbors!  Share your bounty!

Splash in puddles!!

And always, always give thanks !

 

 

 

The Living Happy Writers Group

 

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