I dropped and broke my trusty laptop last week, and just today finally got my new one back from the shop where my files were being installed. It was a pain being without it, trying to "stay connected" through my i-phone alone for so many days. On the other hand, maybe it was a blessing in disguise - fewer distractions from the most important "connection of all", the Spirit of God within. My prayer life didn't suffer for lack of a laptop; in fact it probably was helped.

Last Sunday's lessons were about blessings in disguise too. Saul the zealous Pharisee, who with the new name "Paul" was going to become the most important evangelist of the Biblical era, was knocked off his horse by the vision of Jesus [Acts 9: 1-20] and became blind and utterly dependent on others, specifically the ones he had been sent to persecute. He was someone of great energy and intelligence, used to being self-sufficient. God had to humble him and strip him of his self-sufficiency to show him where true Life was to be found. Often we find God more easily in our weakness and adversity than in our strength. In areas where we feel quite the expert, we may need to experience some failure before we can become truly open to the grace and wisdom God wishes to give us. Our struggles may be a blessing in disguise, and certainly can become such if we will give them to God in faith.  

On the other hand, Peter [John 21: 1-19] was thoroughly discouraged after his abandonment of Jesus at the Crucifixion[d1] . It seems that he had lost all self-respect and believed he was fit for nothing but returning to his previous life as a fisherman; he was so humble he was paralyzed with self-doubt. Jesus, in asking "Do you love me?" three times was not just undoing Peter's three-fold denial, but also reminding Peter that he really did love Jesus, despite his weakness, and that's what mattered to Him most of all. Sometimes we are too ashamed to come to God because of habitual sin, forgetting that he looks at our love for Him and our desire to be good servants more than at our record of successes and failures. On our path to holiness, we will often balk, turn away, in some way refuse our cross to bear. But if we truly love Him "more than these" [our own agendas], we are immediately forgiven and restored. Our humble repentance is, in fact, every bit as pleasing to Him as our successes. Amazing, but true.