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Successful Relationship Tips
Plan A Little Quiet Time Together
Today, spending time together is a challenge for many couples, especially quiet time. One of my favorite things to do is to spend quiet time with my husband without interruptions at various points in and around New York City. 
Events
New Book Release - 2014 70's Party in Memphis
For Memphis friends and family, there will be a celebration of the new book written by Sheri E Ragland, which features Robert Harris' story at the 2014 70's Memphis Party hosted by Anita Harris-Boykin and Robert Harris on Saturday, September 27, 2014 at 8 pm. The party will be held at 1503 Haywood. The new book will be released worldwide in October 2014. There will be giveaways and a trivia game in celebration of the new book. One winner will receive an autographed copy of the new book!
Robert Harris' Story - Overcoming My Insecurities
Interview
Robert Harris shares his story of personal insecurities and how he overcame them as part of new book written by Sheri E Ragland that will be released in October 2014.
Trivia Questions - Answers
Here are answers to the Trivia Questions presented in the August 2014 e-Newsletter. How well did you do? 
Seven Common Signs That You and Your Partner Are Not Managing Conflict

All couples have disagreements. How you as a couple handle the disagreement will determine your progress.  Couples can often lack the appropriate communication skills to solve problems. For instance, managing conflict in a healthy manner; or, recognizing that some things can't be resolved. Have you both considered the need for additional help, if you can't manage conflict? 

September 1, 2014
Greetings!

Welcome to Buzz About Relationships' e-Newsletter for September! We are excited to present you with successful tips, events, articles, interviews and more this month. Also,  I have written a the new book on relationships that will be released in October 2014. The book features the personal story of Robert Harris and his battle with insecurities. His interview is featured in this edition.

 

In discussing topics and themes common to all couples, we have realized that relationships are dynamic entities, often times polarizing two people on a variety of issues. We are curious and want to know what makes couples tick! We'd love to hear from you. Contact us!

 

Successful Relationship Tips

Plan A Little Quiet Time Together

 

Today, spending time together is a challenge for many couples, especially quiet time. One of my favorite things to do is to spend quiet time with my husband without interruptions
Rockfall - Palisades Interstate Parkway - New Jersey
at various points in and around New York City. Living in New York City makes it very easy to find wonderful spots to enjoy. Having a car makes the escape even more adventurous.

 

For us, a couple of hours together somewhere quiet and intimate reduces the stress that everyday life brings. We make it a point to find a spot of tranquility on the weekends at least two or three times a month. Some of our favorite spots include:

  • Visiting the Baron 5th at the Setai Hotel on Fifth Avenue 
  • Watching the New York City skyline from a lookout point in New Jersey
  • A stroll in Central Park
  • A quiet drive to Long Island or New Jersey for a day of shopping
  • Sitting along Riverside park and watching the sun set over the Hudson
  • A drive to Bear Mountain State Park

The key is to break the routine of life and make time for your partner. Quiet times are a wonderful way to bond and keep your relationship fresh. 


Let us know what your ideas are! Contact us!

 

Events
New Book Release - 20 14 70's Party in Memphis

For Memphis friends and family, there will be a celebration of the new book written by Sheri E Ragland, which features Robert Harris' story at the 2014 70's Memphis Party hosted by Anita Harris-Boykin and Robert Harris on Saturday, September 27, 2014 at 8 pm. The party will be held at 1503 Haywood. The new book will be released worldwide in October 2014. There will be giveaways and a trivia game in celebration of the book.One winner will receive an autographed copy of the book!

If you have questions, please feel free to contact me

Robert Harris' Story - Overcoming My Insecurities
Interview

Sheri: Hello, Robert. I would like to thank you for taking the opportunity to share your personal story of change. I have written a book about men and their insecurities that will launch worldwide in early October 2014. I have included your memoir as well as thoughts from other men about their insecurities because I think it is important for men to talk about their insecurities to benefit other men, women and couples.

 

Robert: Thank you for the opportunity to share my story.

 

Sheri: Why did you choose to talk about your insecurities in your memoir?  

 

Robert: I chose to talk about my insecurities because it has been my freedom of expression from past experiences. My insecurities are shared by other men every day and many of those men don't understand how to begin the process of change. It is important for me to share how I began the process of personal change and what has worked for me. My freedom from the past began, when I let God take control of my life.

 

Sheri: What is one of your deepest insecurities?

 

Robert: Pride has hindered me from having successful relationships with family, friends and girl friends. To be honest, there is nothing positive about pride because it is self-centered. You often think your thoughts are above the thoughts of others even though the consequences show otherwise. Pride hurts you and those close to you.

 

Sheri: What did you do to address the insecurity?

 

Robert: I started to listen to the feedback of family, friends and girl friends. I knew they all couldn't be wrong. I really started to reflect and take a serious look at myself. No matter how hard I tried to be a better person in my own strength, it was not enough. I thought more about my mother's teachings of God and scriptures. I began to study the Bible and pray as part of my process of change. God pursued me with his wonderful love, mercy and grace.

 

Sheri: Do you still deal with the insecurity?

 

Robert: Yes, from time to time. I still deal with pride because change is a life-long process. Old habits are hard to break. Through God, I can break those habits. Change takes time. My hope lies is in being victorious in Christ and sharing my story to inspire other men.

 

Sheri: Do you feel you are a better man today? Why?

 

Robert: Yes, I do believe I am a better man today because of the power of God and his life changing word. The scriptures have brought me freedom from my past and have caused me to think positively about my future. However, I am still a work in progress. Christ has a wonderful purpose for my life that has begun with my testimony of freedom in Him.

 

Sheri: What words of encouragement do you have for other men who maybe dealing with insecurities?

 

Robert: First, listen to the feedback from others. If you are consistently getting the same feedback from those in your life, take a look at yourself. Second, acknowledge that you need to change and do something about it. My plan includes living a God-centered life. Finally, change comes in time with persistence and patience. Don't give up. God has a purpose for each one of our lives. It is one of victory and success!

 

Sheri: You have a powerful testimony about God's grace, mercy and love in your life. It takes courage to share your story and to think past the critical lenses of others to help someone else overcome their insecurities. Thank you for sharing you story.

 

Robert: Thank you.

Trivia Questions - Answers

Here are answers to the Trivia Questions presented in the August 2014 eNewsletter. How well did you do? 

1. What red flags help men determine that a relationships     won't work? (Rank in order from 1 to 4)
    a. Lack of common interest - 2
    b. Lack of commitment - 3
    c. High maintenance - 1
    d. Lack of communication - 4

2. How do men define being selfless in a relationship? (Rank in order from 1 to 4)
    a. Be forgiving - 4
    b. Go the extra mile - 1
    c. Love unconditionally - 2
    d. Sharing - 3

3. What is the success rate of couples who receive marriage therapy?
    a. 30%
    b. 42%
    c. 55% - correct answer
    d. 65%

4. What is the most common relationship issue for couples?
    a. communications
    b. moneycorrect answer
    c. sex
    d. cheating

Check for the answers in the September e-Newsletter.
Visit buzzaboutrelationships.com for more Trivia!

Seven Common Signs That You and Your Partner Are Not Managing Conflict

by Sheri E Ragland

 

All couples have disagreements. How you as a couple handle the disagreement will determine your progress.  Couples can often lack the appropriate communication skills to solve problems. For instance, managing conflict in a healthy manner; or, recognizing that some things can't be resolved. Have you both considered the need for additional help, if you can't manage conflict? Seeking the help of a marriage counselor to learn how to manage conflict in your relationship could help save your relationship? Below are seven common signs that may mean you need marriage counseling?

  1. You and your partner are unable to resolve a reoccurring problem. For many couples, it can be difficult to discuss a problem and find a resolution quickly that will benefit both in the relationship.  It may take alternative solutions to address the problem.  When you both find a resolution together, you both invest in the problem-solving process.
  2. Ignoring the problem and hoping it will go away. When there is a serious problem, avoiding it means that the problem could negatively impact the relationship in the future. Couples who address the problem through discussion and resolution are in a better position to protect their relationship before damage has a chance to take effect. If the problem is not addressed, it will more than likely resurface again.
  3. Lack of respect for one another when communicating. Being critical, condescending, blaming, cursing, and belittling are mechanisms that destroy your partner's character and self-esteem. Over time, words of discouragement dangerously lead to the deterioration of the relationship. Your words should encourage at all times. Words set the tone for every discussion - positive or negative. And, such words will define the course of your future together. If you didn't attack your partner's character early in the relationship with harsh words, why start now?
  4. Discussions escalate into arguments and nothing is resolved. Arguments escalate because a) a couple disagrees, b) either is not listening, and, or c) when there is a misunderstanding. Arguments emerge from irrational, stubborn, defensive, and angry behaviors that are not controlled. Arguments prevent couples from understanding the problem and addressing it quickly. Humility, respect and patience are characteristics that help prevent arguments that can escalate; but not differences in opinions.
  5. Not sticking to the facts about the issue. Sticking to the facts about the issue will keep you both focused on the real problem. It may also help you both to recognize the root of the problem as a preventative measure for managing conflict in the future. Now you have a strategy to prevent the problem from managing you both.
  6. Constantly complaining about the issue. Complaining never solves anything and it is a time waster. Identify the problem, talk about it calmly, resolve it and move forward. The key is to think and speak positive to minimize negativity as much as possible, especially because it is counterproductive.
  7. Lack of forgiveness. Saying you are sorry is the first step in moving forward. It doesn't matter who does it as long as it is done. Forgiving is an important part of the healing process when damage has been done in a relationship. And, it can be a preventative measure before any damage is done at all. Forgiving is an act of humility and a sign of commitment to your partner. However, it is not a license to condone or practice bad behavior. More couples need to recognize the power in forgiveness and do it more often than not.

Any one or more of the seven issues above could spell trouble for your relationship, especially if the issues are persistent. Figure out if there is a problem and address it together before the problem deteriorates the relationship.  Also, it is important to note that all conflicts will not be resolved. The key is to address those issues that can be resolved, even if it means obtaining the help of a marriage counselor in order to move forward.

We are excited about the opportunity to share and engage couples on relationship topics. Our goal is to provide new insight for couples on relationship topics through trustworthy resources, such as newsletters, articles, books, blogs and forums for reference and stimulating conversations. Established in 2013, Buzz About Relationships credits its success to listening to couples and providing strategies they can implement within their relationships to feel closer as a unit. Our diverse couples come from all kinds of cultures, socio-economic backgrounds and religions, all with their own unique needs. Couples have the opportunity to address common problems that exist within their relationships through access to practical, useful, credible information for creating healthy discussions and coming up with solutions. Contact us if you want to learn more. Contact us!

 

Sincerely,


 

Sheri E Ragland

Founder and CEO
Buzz About Relationships


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