by Sheri E. Ragland
Couples often plan for the obvious, which may include marriage, family, finance management, savings, vacations, college fund, retirement, etc. However, many forget to manage other key aspects of their relationship, such as the physical, emotional and spiritual. Like anything else in life, relationships have to be managed to maintain balance. Areas of relationship that are most threatened and neglected are a) healthy communications, b) a spiritual foundation, c) time together, d) encouraging one another, and e) consistent goal planning and reassessment. Here are 5 strategies to address those areas.
Ensure Healthy Communications (Listen and Share)
Many couples have been challenged in the area of healthy communications (Elichmann 2014; Horan 2013; Shimberg 1999; Sorgen 2012). Couples should practice humility through listening and sharing thoughts without criticism, blaming, and judging. When communicating, a calm and respectful behavior will help to de-escalation of a disagreement. Escalation is the culprit that finds its way into the conversations of many couples. Quickly de-escalate a disagreement through listening, sharing, and resolving. A sure sign of maturity in a relationship is for both to apologize, forgive, and move forward.
Establish a Spiritual Foundation
Another area that couples often neglect is creating a spiritual foundation for their relationship. After all, we are not only physical and emotional beings, but we are spiritual as well. Therefore, the spiritual aspect of a relationship should be nurtured as well. Couples who have attended a faith-based church that promoted Christ-centered teachings, had Bible studies, and prayed together had a greater chance of a having a healthy and lasting relationship (Stanton 2011). Addressing the spiritual component of a relationship, as well as the emotional and physical is a holistic approach that anchors, builds, and progresses the relationship long-term.
Make Time for Each Other
For six months or so, couples keep the passion alive in the relationship. But, it doesn't have to end. No matter how busy life becomes, plan time together daily, weekly, and monthly. Spend time each day talking to each other about things that are important. Spend time together at least once a week without interruptions. Do something thoughtful and sweet for your partner. It can be a simple love note, a text of appreciation, flowers, or an unexpected gift. Don't neglect each other. Your time together is important for building trust, committing, and protecting your love (Purcell 2006).
Encourage Each Other with Words of Kindness
Remember your partner is a gift not to be taken for granted (Purcell 2006) in this journey of life. Therefore, treasure each other through words of kindness and not criticism. Encouraging words will often inspire confidence and a healthy attitude in your partner. Your partner will be more willing to respond to you in a positive manner. It is a great way for couples to protect their partner's heart all cost.
Plan and Reassess Your Goals Frequently
As life changes occur, plans and goals have to be adapted to those changes. That is why it is important for couples to plan short- and long-term goals and reassess them consistently to ensure that they are realistic and will bring about the desired results. There is nothing wrong with changing plans to make sure that you achieve outcomes that are realistic and will make you both happy.
Healthy communications, building a spiritual foundation, spending quality time together, encouraging one another and consistent goal planning and reassessment will help to ensure that balance takes place in your relationship through planning and managing. Couples who take the time to protect their relationship physically, emotionally, and spiritually are in a better position to navigate life's changes.
References
Elichmann, Jacob. 2014. "Is the average cost of marriage counseling worth it? Will it save your marriage? http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/is-the-average-cost-of-marriage-counseling-worth-it-will-it-save-your-marriage.
Horan, Sean M. 2013. "Reasons Couples Go to Therapy." Psychology Today. http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/adventures-in-dating/201307/reasons-couples-go-therapy.
Purcell, Maud. (2006). "The 10 secrets of happy couples." http://psychcentral.com/lib/the-10-secrets-of-happy-couples/000687.
Shimberg, Elaine Fantle. 1999. Blending families. (New York: Berkley Publishing Group). www.amazon.com/Blending-Families-Elaine-Fantle-Shimberg/dp/0425166775#reader_0425166775.
Sorgen, Carol. 2012. "7 relationship problems and how to solve them." Retrieved on July 30, 2012. www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/guide/7-relationship-problems-how-solve-them (on communications and money).
Stanton, Glenn T. 2011. "Divorce rate in the church - As high as the world?" Focus on the Family Findings. Focus on the Family. http://www.focusonthefamily.com/about_us/focus-findings/marriage/divorce-rate-in-the-church-as-high-as-the-world.aspx.