OK, so you are shopping for a new MMA gym or martial arts studio for yourself or a loved one, and you get lucky enough to find three locations in the same strip mall. You, wisely, decide to visit each both to observe how a typical class goes to get an overall feel for it.

School/Gym 1-Class is just starting, the instructor appears to be a squared away sort, she takes the center of the mat and begins personally leading the class through a series of calisthenics pushing and prodding people here and there with a few choice "Come on, you've got it!" "Just a few more", "Jenkins, you call that a push-up? Chest to the ground, you know they drill. There you go, way to step up."

A student arrives a little late, "Ah, Randy just in time to miss the squats but I know you don't want to lose all of that fun so go ahead and hit 50 and we'll all count them out for you because we love you so much."

Good-natured prodding but the work rate remains high throughout.

It comes time for the instruction portion and her directions seem clear and precise: "Let's hit 25 of this technique per side we'll add to it after that." She wanders the mat correcting technique here and there, reigning in folks occasionally with "So is that the move we're working right now? No? Let's save that for the free roll and get on the same page, OK?"

Free roll time and she's got coaching feedback for all levels of players, no one is left out of the coach's final summary.

School/Gym 2-Students are milling about, it is your understanding that the class starts at 7PM, it is now 7:08. You see, who you assume is the instructor in his office engaged in what seems to be a feverish texting session. After a couple more minutes he hits the mat and opens with a "Y'all warm up or anything? Well, let's go ahead and get going anyway."

The class moves right into some free-sparring, no preliminary warm-up or technique. A few seem to be hard-banging and some others appear to be new and, to be frank, a little lost. The instructor wanders the mat checking his phone occasionally.

A few folks break off on their own here and there and work on whatever they feel like, and before you know it class is over.

School/Gym 3-Class is supposed to start at 8PM and indeed it does. The instructor hits the mat and roars "On the mat, now! Move, move, move!" The students hit the mat in regimented crackerjack fashion, one slow-poke seems a wee bit late, not so much as you'd really notice but this earns a "What's going on!? Do you know what time class starts?" "Yes sir!" "Then you'd better be on the mat when it's time, you got that" "Yes sir."

A rigorous set of calisthenics begins, the instructor does not participate but he does wander among the ranks offering "Harder, harder, harder!" "Don't you dare put your knees down during these push-ups, don't you dare."

It's technical instruction time and the instructor begins with a lengthy digression on what it is to be learned that evening, calls up a student and then proceeds to slap on a move or two with more than a little crank in them and then removing himself from the situation before the favor can be returned.

Free-sparring begins and the coaching seems to be akin to whipping dogs into a frenzy and the post-coaching points are along the lines of "You're going to have to push harder if you want to hang with the big dogs." And, "He's finding you with that kick, you're going to have to do something about that."

There you have it, three gyms, three instructors, who gets your money?

Seems a no-brainer to me. Gym #1 seems mighty squared away, whereas Gym #2 is it's polar opposite. Gym # 3 is the puzzle. There is a time and place for rigor and gunny sergeant tactics but...we need to identify the fine line between professional demeanor and being a professional who is demeaning.

I fail to see why anyone who plinks down good money somehow gives up the right to be treated less than respectfully. I am 100% pro gung-ho attitude fostering discipline and pushing your physical and cognitive limits, but does this have to only come in the form of the diatribe or warrantless hector?

I don't think so.

There's nothing wrong with helping students/clients dig deep to discover they are capable of way more than they realized. There's nothing wrong with slapping on a little candor when someone is clearly sandbagging.

What I am saying is that is the wisest way to treat paying customers, people who respect you enough to pay you with their hard earned dollars and/or giving you the gift of their time and attention, is it smart, kind, or respectful to be less than smart, kind, and respectful to them?

Seems a faulty business model at the least, and a poor way to conduct oneself as a human being at worst.

By all means, run a tough gym/school, lead from the front, but there's nothing that says these goals cannot be met while behaving with courtesy and honor.