Over the next several months we will be highlighting some of the various services Infant of Prague provides to our diverse client base.  Many people in the community are not aware that IPAS offers crisis pregnancy counseling and continues to walk alongside women who choose to parent.  This real life example will be our first in the "Did you know?" series.

It is not unusual to get a call at the office from a friend or relative of a woman facing an unintended pregnancy.  The caller is typically looking for help and advice that they can pass on to the individual in need.  This was initially how Susan* came to us.  Susan was in her third trimester of pregnancy and did not know whether she wanted to parent or make a plan of adoption for her child.  In all reality, Susan was in a state of denial about the child she was carrying.  Susan's friend had heard of Infant of Prague, and after talking to a social worker at the office, connected Susan with the agency.

Susan was in her twenties, still lived at home, and was a part of a very dysfunctional family.  She was unemployed and had no health insurance. Susan claimed that there was hardly any food in the house and that she was not receiving any type of government assistance which would have supplied her with groceries and cash aid.  In addition to her sub standard living conditions, Susan was pregnant by her on and off again boyfriend who engaged in illegal activity.  Susan had done nothing to prepare for the baby, and was not being realistic about what it meant to parent a child.  She had not received  prenatal care and was abusing substances. 

An IPAS social worker got in touch with Susan, and within the first week of meeting took her to sign up for Pregnancy Medi-Cal and WIC.  The same social worker also took Susan to see a doctor so that she would be under medical supervision for the rest of her pregnancy.  Another social worker in the office did some family therapy with Susan and her mother.  Susan was also transported to the welfare office where she was able to obtain cash aid.  In addition, Susan got to spend quality time with a couple of different social workers as they invested in her life through mentoring, sharing meals, apartment hunting, and continued doctor appointments.

As Susan's relationship with the IPAS social workers grew, she also received option counseling.  Susan was able to realistically learn about what parenting or making a plan of adoption would look like.  She viewed albums of waiting adoptive families.  She explored openness and asked questions.   She was provided with a non-judgmental, no pressure environment in which to make her decision.

When Susan decided to parent, an IPAS social worker took her to get baby furniture and clothes.  She was connected to parenting classes offered in the community.  She was encouraged to find a job.  When the baby was induced, an IPAS social worker was the only one who stayed with her during her labor.  Most importantly, Susan was not alone in her time of need even if she wasn't making a plan of adoption.

Susan's case is not unusual.  About 50% of the women that work with an IPAS social worker decide to parent.  It is the mission of Infant of Prague to help women with an unintended pregnancy learn about their options and decide what is best for her and her baby.  Should a woman decide to parent, IPAS is there to celebrate and support her as she moves forward, as in Susan's case.  If a woman decides to make a plan of adoption, IPAS is there to affirm, counsel, and hold her hand as she places her child with a waiting adoptive family.  Either way, IPAS is ready and willing to help.  

Why did you choose Infant of Prague Adoption Service?

It was a perfect fit for us. We were very comfortable with the way IPAS approaches adoption and how they care for both their adoptive families and their birth families.

What was your "wait" like?

Like a roller coaster! We decided to throw a relocation and new job in the mix so it got a little complicated, but in the end worked out as it was supposed to. We had all of our paperwork, home study, and album completed in September 2011. We received a few calls to ask if we were comfortable having our album shown in November.  It was very hard to say, "no" to something we wanted so bad, but we knew we were not geared up to care for the situations presented. We waited and waited.  Of course when we found out we might be moving was when we got the call to meet with a birth couple. Nonetheless, our birth family still chose us knowing we had a lot of changes ahead that were a little different than what our album showed. We believe the connection we had with them is what kept our plan in stride. Once Corbett was with us we were complete!

What was it like to get "the call?" What happened?

We were lucky enough to meet our birth family prior to our son's arrival so we had somewhat of a plan...we loaded up in the car to head to Fresno for our birth mom's scheduled induction when we got the call that she was already in labor.  Planned or not, it is still exciting and overwhelming when you get that call. We did have a plan in place that we worked out prior with our birth family, but when that didn't happen we did start to get worried. It took four days for our placement to happen. Due to various circumstances, we had to prepare ourselves that we might be going home without him. Thankfully in the end it all worked out, we just had to put a lot of faith in the process. We did have a challenging moment in the hospital as we were getting ready to leave - I did not get to take home his footprints and crib cards. When we got in the car I told Kevin how upset I was that I didn't have them. Kevin looked at me and said, "Amy, we have his feet." (I rely heavily on this moment when I begin to doubt myself as an adoptive mom...thank goodness for a sense of humor!)

How did you feel when you saw your baby for the first time? 

Breathless. We first saw him via text the day after he was born and had to wait to go to the hospital to meet him in person. That was very hard to just sit, we felt a bit helpless. We had our first/biological son in our arms the minute he was born. It is an odd feeling when you have to wait to meet your child; but once you do hold him he is all you see....we are so in love!

How was the finalization process?

It was just a waiting game really. We knew we would finalize close to the end of the year. Of course nothing can go as planned, so due to delays personally we ended up not getting scheduled until February. The court process was a blessing.  The judge and his staff made it very simple and enjoyable which was nice after 18 months of processing, paperwork, phone calls, and anything else that felt like an obstacle. With all the work, time, and preparation it was nice to end on a such a simple but memorable moment.

Are you enjoying parenthood?

Parenthood is amazing, stacked with challenges, but so totally worth it.  Being a parent changes you, and when you throw adoption into that mix, parenting looks a little different. We have a lot more people depending on us now. We wouldn't have it any other way though.  We love what we are doing and how we are building our family!

Other thoughts you might like to share?

Thank goodness for IPAS! They are amazing and give the confidence you need to get through the process. We are grateful for the support they have provided and are happy to return the favor.  We try to make ourselves available to other families who might need a sounding board or advice on getting through the "wait."  If you find you need someone who's been there, you can contact us through the IPAS office!