Me? What does "being Jewish" mean?

Growing up the way I did, in NY, seems to be an unusual story here in the Hartford Jewish community. But in NY (Westchester), it did not seem all that unique. Being 4th/5th generation Jewish (all relatives, both sides of family), we were an extremely assimilated family. We even had a "Christmas tree". (Don't ask to see my collection of old family videos!). For us, it was just about family, gifts and a pretty, glittery, decorated tree. Sort of like Thanksgiving, but with lots of presents. It meant nothing more.

So often, we strive for our children's experiences to mirror ours.  My Jewish Journey began by attending an after-school religious school program in our temple, as well as participating in junior congregation on some Saturdays.  My journey continued to include a brief time living in Israel with my family, my Bar Mitzvah, temple youth group, USY on Wheels, and Poland-Israel Pilgrimage, among other experiences. 

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When I think about my Jewish journey, it reminds me a lot of my exercise routine.

Every now and then I'm in training or in a good groove of exercising frequently. Other times... not so much. Sometimes I run alone, other times with my husband or friends. Sometimes I take my two young boys with me when I clock some miles on the pavement. The double running stroller feels very heavy on the uphills, but it pulls me forward on the downhills. Sometimes I decide the flat, paved routes are enough and avoid the hills altogether. Sometimes training seems easy. The short runs after the long runs let me feel my progress, while the long runs make me unsure if I'll be able to do even more the next week. But when the time comes, I always manage to stretch to that next mileage mark.

Growing up I had a strong Jewish identity, but who knew that I would become the spiritual, passionate, and community conscious Jew that I am today! 

So how did I get here?

My journey begins with my father, Stewart Yontef.  My parents got divorced when I was five years old and my father won custody of my older brother and me and brought us up as a single parent.  My father has a VERY strong Jewish identity, which he instilled in me.  He kept and observed Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, Passover, and Hanukkah and always had the honor of holding the Torah on Kol Nidre at our synagogue.  He also is all about tradition (he even sings the chorus of the famous song from Fiddler on the Roof occasionally!).

"It" is not an "ah ha" experience but it is a process which takes time, and requires looking beyond the words as one seeks to understand and appreciate the more.  What is this "it" of which I speak---it is the learning about and opening oneself up to Judaism with all the complexities, interpretations, attempts at understanding the complex and the simple that are a part of, I believe, our religion.   I travelled slowly to this point, a passage from "invisible Jew" when growing up to "here I am, a Jew" which is where I am now. Such a passage takes work which is something that, I feel, was not quite understood or appreciated prior to the recent past. What brought me to this place, a place which is but a short rest before the continual journey to more understanding about, more being a part of, more knowing about Judaism?