Writing about resolutions in January is like posting an inspirational quote next to a kitten on Facebook - so overdone that it immediately fades into the background.

Some children desire more screen time than others. How do we know when to ask, how much is too much?

So, I resolved not to write about resolutions this month. But then our school counselor Ruth Ann Haussmann showed me two articles from commonsensemedia.org:
Media Resolutions Every Family Should Make in 2014 and
Seven Media-Savvy Skills All Parents Need in 2014 - and my resolution to not write about resolutions went the way of 99% of all resolutions. I broke it.

Here at Swain we're almost five months into our 1:1 iPad program in the middle school.  Teachers are making the most of this latest learning tool.  A few examples:  Fifth through seventh grade students working with Miss Parente and Mrs. Ven-
tresca use online technology to go

Swain uses iPads in the middle school as tools to help students discover and process information in new ways.

beyond the traditional textbook lessons of reading and writing, sharpening their listening and speaking skills with their Spanish homework. Mr. Burns supplements his eighth grade history curriculum by sharing articles and videos via Google Drive.  Eighth graders are creating digital photography projects for Ms. Samuel in art.  Middle school students can choose to get all of their novels electronically, reducing paper use and the weight of student backpacks. 

The use of iPads creatively enhances the engaging face-to-face learning that has always happened at Swain and the amount of screen time students are getting at school is actually quite low when compared with all of their other activities in a given school day.  But when they get home, the story may be different.  With social media, interactive games, texting, messaging, YouTube, Netflix, etc... there are infinite opportunities for kids of all ages to amuse themselves, and sometimes completely lose track of time, with an electronic device and a Wi-Fi connection.

Even if your children have not yet reached middle school, undoubtedly you've had the experience of their clamoring for more screen time.  Sometimes parents even (gasp!) use those enticing little screens to buy us some extra moments (or hours) of peace.

Children of all ages are drawn to digital devices. Above: Fifth graders share the Mandarin alphabet with a PK buddy.

Some of you may have even noticed that we, the parents and guardians responsible for this next generation, are often ourselves buried in our own screens.  (I'm speaking from experience here as a recovering Candy Crush addict who's been on and off the wagon several times...)

Not surprisingly, as with most things in our society, experts are split on this topic of screen time and how much is too much.  Google "Kids and Technology" and you'll get a wide range of opinions regarding whether tech time is good or it's the beginning of the end of the world as we know it. 

Thinking about whether we're making the right parental decisions here can be so overwhelming that sometimes we just give up and let the machines win.

The two articles mentioned above got me thinking about this issue and whether I need to be doing more to protect my child from a tyranny of technology. Here's what I came up with...

First, relax - kids are resilient.  They eventually bounce back from most of our parenting mistakes.

Second, as with most everything in life I advocate conscious decisions and balance.

If you find your child spending what seems like a long time on a screen, think consciously about the situation before passing judgment.  I would ask two questions:

1. Should this time be spent doing something else? 

One of the potential hazards of too much tech time is sleep loss.

Think about the balance of the day.  Has she eaten? Is his homework done? Did she get any exercise today?  Has she recently played with real people and real toys that are manipulated by hand?  Have you had some time to connect with each other face-to-face today? Did he fulfill his family duties today?  Should she be sleeping right now?  Remember she needs 8 to 10 hours. (By the way, these are good questions for us to ask ourselves, too.  Kids remember what we do more than what we say!)

2. What is the quality or the intention of the screen time? 

Has he been mindlessly playing Bubble Blast for an hour or has he been video chatting with Grandpa?  Is she maintaining positive social connections on Instagram or watching her favorite rerun for the ninth time?  Also, how is his mood?  Beware of technology as a distraction to avoid feelings of sadness or anger.  We all have rough days and growing up is full of painful experiences that need to be acknowledged and processed, not swept under a digital rug.  (For more on this important topic click on this Washington Post blog:  Is Technology Sapping Children's Creativity?)

As Caroline Knorr advises in the resolution articles above, get to know your children's online activities so you have a better idea of what they're up to.  Play their games - learn why they love them so much.  Share music and watch videos together.  Understand that this online activity is how they create social connections.  Remember when you used to spend an hour on the phone with your best friend - and your parents complained - every night?  The same thing is happening today, it's just happening faster, and with more people at a time.

Consciously navigating our children's digital lives along with them is one of the best ways to make sure they're reaping the benefits of technology without falling prey to the dangers.

Be encouraging and supportive, but also be the parent.  Set limits on screen time and/or the types of activities they may participate in depending on age.  Discuss what it means to have a Digital Code of Conduct.  "Friend" or follow older kids on social media, not to interrupt their conversations (even an innocent contribution from a parent can be viewed as intrusive by an independence-seeking teen), but to be there to lend guidance if needed, and to perhaps make
her think twice about posting something questionable. And, no matter what age your children are, resolve to read Media Resolutions Every Family Should Make in 2014 and Seven Media-Savvy Skills All Parents Need in 2014.
 

Technology and digital connectedness are here to stay. What we do with them is up to us.  With our guidance, our children can learn to use technology as a social tool to explore the world, bring people together and create the next generation of science, stories and art.
 

How to Start the Conversation...
 

Coming home in tomorrow's Friday Folders is a small book entitled Net Cetera: Chatting With Kids About Being Online.  If you haven't already begun these conversations with your children, reading this book together might be a great place to start.
 

I hope you enjoyed this issue of Thrive!

Digitally yours,

Julia Getty

Swain Wellness Coordinator  

3rd-8th Grade Wellness Teacher