In The SpotLight!

February, 2016

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Here is some more "food for thought" which I am sending out in the months between my regular In The SpotLight newsletters. These are excerpts taken from past newsletters I have written that still have much relevance today.

I would love to guide and support you in working on this challenge. Please consider my Getting Over Stage Fright workshop and/or personal coaching if you would like my guidance in learning how to transform this fear. If you have already taken my workshop, please consider taking the workshop again if you need some further reinforcement in using the tools.

If you are interested in attending the workshop, the next one is being planned for May 14-15, 2016. I hope you will be able to join us for the workshop to help move your progress to a new level. You can find out more information about my workshop by visiting www.performanceanxiety.com/upcoming_workshop.htm.

If you want to do some personal coaching with me, please contact me directly at janetesposito@performanceanxiety.com. I would love to hear from you.

Enjoy the newsletter!

Warm regards,

Janet

"Every adversity carries with it the seed of an equivalent or greater benefit." Napoleon Hill

Learning to Focus on the Positives

We tend to be creatures of habit and many (if not most) of our day-to-day responses to life come from our conditioned, habitual patterns rather than conscious choice. One aspect of our conditioned behavior that is often on auto-pilot is our focus of attention - i.e., what we pay attention to and what we say to ourselves about it.

When we feel very anxious and stressed, our minds tend to zero in on the negatives and we end up dwelling on what we don't like, what we don't want, and what we are afraid might happen to us. We put little to no focus on anything positive about the situation or on effective problem solving to decide how to best handle the situation.

When we are feeling stressed by external life situations (e.g., speaking or performing events) or our inner feelings and sensations about these external events (e.g., self-doubt and a racing heart), it is easy to fall prey to a negative focus of attention. We find ourselves acutely focused on the very things that make us feel even more anxious, afraid, worried, tense, and self-doubting. This clearly becomes a very vicious cycle, indeed.

We tend to fret about the negatives and become preoccupied, and even obsessed, with the thoughts and feelings this negative focus generates. The more we focus our attention on these negatives, the more we energize these thoughts and feelings and they quickly grow in magnitude and scope in our minds. And we just as quickly lose complete perspective of the situation.

A very powerful practice to counteract this tendency is to train our minds to create a positive focus of attention, ideally in all situations but especially when we feel stressed by life circumstances and challenges. Be on the lookout for these situations, as you have to work very consciously to shift any strongly conditioned tendencies you may have to focus on the negatives. These situations can happen in the most mundane life experiences, as well as the bigger challenges of life.

Work on observing how you think and react to life situations that you find stressful and difficult (the obvious for all of us are the speaking and performing challenges, though also pay attention to other life situations as well - big and small). Note any habitual tendencies to fall into thinking about (and perhaps dwelling on) the things that seem most negative and stressful about the situation.

Then, consider a more positive point of view. Imagine being challenged to find 5-10 good things about the situation and come up with a list of potential benefits (equal to or greater than the perceived adversity). Challenge yourself to shift your perspective from negative brooding to positive and empowered thinking.

As I read and listen to writers and speakers in the personal empowerment field, the topic of focus of attention comes up often. As you begin this New Year, work on cultivating a more positive and powerful mind set, both in the mundane happenings of your life as well as in the bigger challenges that life offers you. When you take yourself off auto-pilot and start to consciously influence your mind set, a whole new world of possibility opens up.

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Janet Esposito, M.S.W.

In The Spotlight

PO Box 494

Bridgewater, CT06752

860-210-1499

jesposito@performanceanxiety.com

www.performanceanxiety.com

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