Personal Note from Janet

I had an interesting discovery this month as I looked through a memory box from my childhood that my sister found stored in her attic. I must have put it there almost 20 years ago and then had long forgotten about it. 

One thing I found most interesting was an autobiography I wrote when I was in eighth grade. What struck me as I read it is that I had already made reference to having stage fright. I actually used those very words to describe my experience - little did I know my career path was being formed at that early age. 

I described the situation of moving to a new school mid-year when I was in fourth grade and being so embarrassed when my teacher introduced me to the class on my first day at the new school. I mentioned hating being singled out and being the center of attention and wishing she had just let me meet the kids on my own without such a formal introduction. 

I also found it interesting to see that I had noted my tendency to worry about things and be on the nervous side, especially around new situations, such as the first day (and week) of each new school year. I hadn't recalled being so anxious as a child, especially in anticipation of the unknown, until I read my description of my experiences that I had written about back then.

I have now worked with many hundreds of people with stage fright who report a similar aversion to being "in the spotlight". Many have noted that their experience with this fear, and shunning being the center of attention, goes way back into their childhood years. Others have commented that their experience has been quite the opposite - that they had felt very comfortable being center stage and enjoyed being "in the spotlight" until something inexplicably happened one day that made them highly anxious and uncomfortable. And still others have said that they felt a normal level of nervousness being "in the spotlight" for many years, then all of a sudden their fear grew and became a major issue when it hadn't really been a problem for them before.

I am convinced that my stage fright grew in response to a number of very difficult life experiences that led me to feel highly vulnerable and out of control in my life. It was triggered more strongly later in life when I was a young adult facing a great deal of stress and pressure to perform well in graduate school and in my first job.

While it is not essential to figure all of this out to work though it, it can be enlightening to reflect on the conditions in which your experience with stage fright started and to realize that there is some rhyme and reason to all of this and that it doesn't just come out of nowhere.

Spirituality & Stage Fright

Last week I attended a seminar on Spirituality & Health, given by my primary care physician (who casually and lightheartedly admitted to feeling some "fight-or-flight stress" as she started her talk, which elicited laughter and ease from the audience). She had lots of power point slides and noted many studies and statistics on the benefits to our health and wellbeing from living a more spiritually-based life. She also noted the beneficial effects of a spiritual life in buffering us from stressful life events. 

When the Q&A time came, I shared my observation that while many people I have worked with over the years say that they have a belief in a higher power, they often find it hard to apply their faith when stressful life events occur. She agreed with my observation, and noted that many people have difficulty with "applied spirituality" even though they may be spiritually inclined or religious.

Personally, I don't consider myself religious and I don't attend services, but I do practice meditation and "applied spirituality" in my daily life. I find this practice helps support me in stressful times, as well as helps me cultivate a state of higher consciousness in the way I live my life day-to-day (e.g., more trusting, more able to let things unfold without having to be so in control all the time, more able to put aside ego concerns and focus on my contribution, more able to look for life lessons when difficult circumstances present, etc.).

Of course, sometimes I lapse into a lower state of consciousness (e.g., worrying, needing to be in control, needing to be right or perfect, etc.), but I am usually more aware when this happens now. I notice how this way of being doesn't resonate with the way I want to live my life and I try to shift back into a higher state of consciousness as quickly as I can.

As this relates to stage fright/performance anxiety, some ways we can apply spirituality to any anxiety or fear that gets triggered by speaking or performing situations include the following: