"All turnarounds are turnarounds in beliefs."

Tony Robbins

Last month I attended a workshop on Anxiety Disorders and the speaker, Reid Wilson, Ph.D., was informing us about some of the newer ways that are being used to deal with anxiety. I thought I would share with you some highlights of things he spoke about.

First, he said that there are a few qualities that people who experience high levels of anxiety share more than the general population. One of them is the wish to be comfortable and the difficulty bearing uncomfortable feelings. A second quality is a higher level need for certainty and a greater difficulty tolerating uncertainty (this seems to go hand-in-hand with a strong need to feel in control and a greater fear of feeling a loss of control).

All of this certainly rang true for me in thinking about my own fear and anxiety related to speaking, as well as the experiences I hear in working with others with speaking and performing anxiety (and other types of anxiety). He referred to the approach of trying to accept one's anxiety and not fight it as the "permissive approach", which characterizes the general approach that has been used for some time now. In this approach, one tries to allow and accept one's fear and anxiety and find ways to calm oneself and relax in the face of these feelings.

While this remains a valid approach, he introduced a newer approach that he and some others are using, which he called the "provocative approach". In this approach, the anxious person deliberately seeks out the feelings of fear and anxiety and actively invites these uncomfortable feelings into his or her experience rather than trying to avoid the discomfort.

So, using this approach, if you started to feel the fear and anxiety about speaking or performing, you would imagine pressing on the gas pedal rather than the brake and say something to yourself along the lines of, "Bring it on! I can take as much as you will give me, so keep it coming!"

The idea here is to deliberately try to increase the intensity and duration of your uncomfortable feelings and to ramp them up as far as you can take them. While Reid spoke of creating an attitude of celebration and delight towards these feelings, it is clear that this is not how you genuinely feel towards these feelings. Rather, you can "act as if" you are happy to ramp up your fear and anxiety, which serves to challenge the feeling of being afraid of these feelings or resisting them in any way. It also serves to help you lighten up as you egg these feelings on and not take them all too seriously.

Many people are afraid of doing this, feeling as though they will be opening the flood gates and they will be overwhelmed with a tidal wave of fear and anxiety if they took this approach. What most people have found, however, is that when they approach their anxious, fearful feelings in this way, the feelings go only so far and then they start to recede pretty quickly. It is like looking this "scary, ugly monster" right in the face and letting it know you are bigger than it is - and then this "monster" loses its power over you.

Consider trying the "Provocative Approach" when you are feeling anxious and afraid and see how it works for you. You may want to try it first with anticipatory anxiety or in other situations of anxiety outside of the speaking or performing arenas as well. If you respond well to this approach, you may want to add it to the mix of how you work with anxious and fearful feelings when they arise.

You can learn more about this approach in Reid Wilson's book, Don't Panic and David Tolen's book, Face Your Fears (listed on my web site at http://www.performanceanxiety.com/books_cds.htm).

Addendum:

Here is a recent note from a past coaching client and workshop participant, who tried using this approach and who agreed to have me share her experience with this method with others:

Janet,

I was thinking about you b/c I feel like I have found the final 'key' to really put me over the edge with my speaking issues.

I randomly came across, a couple weeks ago, the book 'man's search for meaning' by Viktor Frankyl in which he talks about 'logotherapy' or more specifically 'paradoxical intention'. It just really really resonated with me so I'm now reading this book, along with another book that focuses on applying these methods, called 'don't panic' by Reid Wilson.

Have you researched these tactics much? For some reason, it really struck a chord with me. The idea is to stop trying to control your anxiety and instead just change your reaction to it (which we've talked about in in your workshop and books).  So when the Panic starts to come on, you literally almost taunt it, like saying "yup, come on - let's see how fast you can make my heart race or let's see how much you can make me blush or my mind race" (focused on whatever of these is most of an issue with you).  By actually WANTING the panic to come on, you actually are weirdly taking back control. By inviting it in, it paradoxically backs down.  It's also about introducing the element of humor.

Anyhow, I just started adding this into the mix (obviously still using the other stuff) but I genuinely feel this may be the final piece of the puzzle for me.  I haven't had a chance yet to try it in a high stress situation, just smaller speaking scenarios, but so far, so good!  I realize that this may not be for everyone, but for some reason, I'm very drawn to this technique.  I guess my biggest thing is that it's a mind game and is a great way to deal with that.

I feel like this is a great way to playfully taunt the Panic. I literally talk to it now. Iit makes me also feel like I really am above my panic - awareness above thinking - by being able to talk to it like this.