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"Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do."
Bruce Lee
Turning Good Intentions into Sustained Action
As we are at the start of another New Year, many of us have good intentions to make positive changes in our lives. We often express our good intentions in the form of New Year's Resolutions or Goals for the coming year. Some of us follow through with our good intentions and carry out these resolutions over the course of the year, while others get off to a good start and then loose steam, leaving our good-intentions and resolutions by the wayside (and some of us, unfortunately, never mobilize into action at all and we don't get beyond our initial good intentions).
It is clear that to make steady progress in our lives, we need to carry our good intentions into action and sustain this action over time. If we truly want our lives to be better, we need to apply the new knowledge we are gaining so we can create different outcomes in the areas where we want to change.
Many people become complacent and settle into a comfortable groove (or rut!) in their lives and a kind of inertia takes over. We tend to be creatures of habit and many of us gravitate toward sameness in the way we live out our lives. It often takes a conscious and deliberate commitment to change our familiar patterns, and a willingness to tolerate the discomfort of change, to really make something different happen in our lives.
This is especially true if we have to confront a big challenge, such as our fear of public speaking or performing. As they say in 12-Step programs, it is often tempting to take "the easier, softer way" and gravitate toward our old, familiar, comfortable behaviors (such as avoidance behavior). As it has also been said, if you continue to make the same choices, you will get the same results.
So, if you want to change the results you are experiencing with public speaking or performing this year, you will clearly need to change your approach - your beliefs, thought patterns, attitudes, self-talk, images, behaviors, etc. - to move yourself in the direction you want to go. And for most of us, this will mean taking conscious, deliberate actions to move yourself in the direction you want to go and being willing to tolerate the discomfort of change.
I would also like to respond to a question from someone in our Newsletter Community:
"What do you recommend for the 'quick, last minute' presentation? For example, when someone requests an update from you now in Conference room 2. Little to no prep time here."
I am reminded of the saying, "Good luck happens when preparation meets
opportunity." To me this means that you may not be able to prepare fully for each presentation or performance in advance, but when you invest the time and energy preparing yourself to meet the speaking or performing challenges over time - when there are no pressing demands - you are more prepared to meet these challenges when they do arise unexpectedly.
This means not only mastering your content area, but also learning how to calm your mind and body and become more resourceful under stressful and challenging circumstances. Learning how to ground yourself through deep-breathing, calming imagery, positive focus and self-talk, and acceptance of whatever discomfort you are feeling without fueling it further are just some of the ways to create more inner balance and trust in your ability to meet these challenges when they do arise.
In addition to the ongoing practices you can follow to raise your threshold for managing stressful situations more resourcefully, there are some specific things you can do in the moment an unexpected challenge arises. These include saying "YES" to the challenge (in your own head) rather than shrinking away from it or fueling a feeling of wanting to flee (the act of resisting the challenge serves to charge it even more and leads you to feel less capable of handling it); focusing immediately on calming and grounding your inner state through deep breathing and focusing on something that is soothing to you; immediately stopping the self-talk that breeds worry, fear, and self-doubt and replacing it with self-talk that is supportive and empowering; focusing
on the true purpose of your presentation as a communication rather than getting caught up in self-preoccupation about how you look or feel; and knowing that you can handle this challenge, even if you are not feeling at your best and feel fearful and uncomfortable - you can do it anyway!
What we have discovered in the workshops I have held is that people do not really detect the level of discomfort you are feeling inside (and most often little to no outward signs of your inner fear and anxiety are even visible), so take your focus off the concern that others will see your discomfort and put your attention on the content of what you have to say - your discomfort almost always lessens, or becomes less bothersome, when you don't focus on it and give it more fuel!
I hope to have the opportunity to help you make further progress with your speaking or performing challenges this year. Please be sure to contact me if you would like my help!
Warm wishes,
Janet
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