20TH The Sun strides proudly into Taurus along with its entourage bringing a change to the airwaves and hopefully fairer weather to most regions.Nature awakens with the creative stimulation of Taurus. Our tactile senses are stronger. Enjoyment of the arts, music, fine foods, warm bubble baths, natural things and physical contact is enhanced. Pleasure comes through the familiar. Slow, methodical, patient and persevering we can stick with the endurance course. Greater stamina is provided through these vibrations. A broken promise, a disloyal act or contradictory behaviour however will not be forgotten. It will be overcome. Once all is said and done Taurus is where we can pick up from where we left off. Security mindedness, long term longevity and modest comfort are given high value. We refine what we need without compromising what is important.

21ST Mind power works out those hard to deal with details. We cannot build our next project until the plans for it are corrected by way of indomitable attention to rightful strategy. Pulling together the pieces of our reality takes a lot of energy and then again more will power to rearrange and improve our mental molecules. Breaking through to a new reality is only the first step. What follows is the flow of progress behind the initiating actions, assertions and mental creations. It is never fast enough but because of that it is usually more thorough. No point in becoming frustrated with the snags and tributaries; that will just create more delay. Masculinity meets up with feminine militancy which could create quite a skirmish. We resolve our conflicts and manage people to get to where we want to go. Immunity takes a dip; we can get caught with a spring cold. Take an immune booster.

Question everything. The way a person uses their power is an important thing to know. Try not to get blindsided by those who connive and conspire using gossip as a weapon of infiltration. Self-propulsion becomes very important. Are you driving your own ship to a preferred destination? There will be opportunities to turn toward gain and success. Whatever appears to be out of our control will be reconsidered in our long-range goals. Strong ambition and reformation provides favourable outcomes. The law of attraction is very strong but so too are cause and effect or karma. At this point the one thing we want to avoid is creating new karma or getting caught up in the karma of others. Let them be for now. It is important for their metamorphosis that they find their own way. If it is toward us great, if it is away from us this must be accepted.

We start the solar month on a note of promise. The Crescent Moon phase of the Sun/Moon cycle cradles us in our incubation period with regenerating life support systems on full. It takes time to clean up after the years of storminess we have had, to take stock and clear up the debris. We need to let things gestate. There are many pieces to fit together. One idea we can use is to get a jig saw puzzle and place it somewhere in our home out of the way but accessible and spend some meditative moments putting it together over a long period of time. It will give us practice for what we are doing now. Take the time, some of the pieces look like they fit but they are as usual deceiving and will not allow us to build upon the design.

22ND Happy Earth Day!

All you creatures with wings, Eagle and Bee, Ichneumon Fly and Wren,

As you fly on our Mother's breath, I, your little sister, ask you,

Carry my heartbeat Morning Prayer in your wing beat:

"How I love you -

How I thank you -"

Carry it up to our Mother's lap,

Carry it into our Father's ear,

Carry it three times around the belly of the Earth.

-Megan Boyd

24TH We come to grips with parental dysfunction, or our dysfunction in the eyes of our parents. At this time in some way we need to step into an individualised sense of correctness. That is when others do not enforce what is acceptable or approved of and are no longer an imposition or interference. If we do this we make peace in body, mind and soul and no longer measure ourselves against another's ambitions, habits, schedules, rules, conventions, expectations or curfews. Young people need the help of their parents who need to recognise when it is necessary to stop enforcing what is acceptable or approved of. We are the guardians of these incarnating souls, not the owners. Let us not make genetically modified human beings out of our children. We were created to create; we cannot take the credit for our creations, except that they are healthy. For that we are responsible.

As we set about to change our life because of what has been revealed to us events are forming in surprising ways. We have a lot of energy to kick off our new endeavours. If we are still in the breaking through or breaking free stage there is a degree of rebellious defiance. It is rash, impulsive and accident prone but it makes innovation happen. We need to be creative in how we assert our individuality and how we set the example of what we believe in; there is a constructive way of doing it. With room to move and the motivation to make improvements we shift into place. Those that are still flailing around, no one will understand but you. Take care with sharp instruments or tools and when driving because of this unsettled unpredictable energy.

25TH Hold onto faith, hope and optimism! We are sorting out entanglements that are blocking the productivity of our personal growth, understanding and creativity. A paradox or riddle will present itself and require sacrifice to solve the problem. Old methods, custom, tradition or belief does not work this time. Modern life challenges require that we integrate broader social philosophies into our focused attentions.

The Sun-Moon angle has reached the First Quarter Stage. This is the first crunch in the monthly cycle. Whatever bears down on us has a solution, reconciliation or alternative. Get rigidities out of the way and do not listen to the harshness of other people's opinions. It is important to think for ourselves and follow our own magnetic attraction. Changes will happen, not just for ourselves but those around us too. Those that need a more even tempered atmosphere may not be feeling very well. Perhaps it is nervous exhaustion but fatigue will overcome anyone is has become worn down. Step away from intensity and let the shift happen.

26TH  Moving forward we will be held back by feeling sorry for people, or wanting to save them. In this instance it is an unrealistic perception and expectation. Strong psychic sensitivity affords us great empathy and compassion but if it is mixed with too much idealism it leads to disillusionment and disappointment. We cannot afford to dally with uncertain obligation in irreconcilable situations. Spirituality matters; it will be very important to us even if there is no common ground, connection or compatibility within our relationships to support our beliefs. Being creative and expansive we will bridge this gap to fulfil ourselves.

Financial dependency will create such tension that the person supporting the other feels cheated. Whether it is appropriate or not, misunderstandings arise. Do not knit this into reality; creatively find ways to contribute more or make extra effort to see what a person contributes and reduce the sense of a burden. We need to be wary of problems like deception, victimisation, inappropriate self-sacrifice, hidden costs, uncertain financial arrangements and unrealistic attitudes toward finance.

28TH Revealed are the weaknesses and dysfunctions of our situation and the people involved. Our resultant wilful assertiveness finds the best fix for the moment and gets on with moving forward. A surge of courage takes a stand. Our destructive patterns, caused by old wounds, need to be diverted so that decisions are not constructed with negativity. If we cannot overcome our failings and resolve old repressed energies then we are likely to become ill. It is another way of deciding what to do. If helplessness and hopelessness sets in we can decide everyone has turned against us. The animus or warrior is alive in this energy. Exploitive greed can be the reaction of those who feel they have no rights.

29TH The Gibbous Moon Phase occurs as the Moon's disk is almost full. We are gathering information, thinking outside the box and choosing alternatives to our normal preferences. Guided from within we are not afraid to make change, decide differently and make a creatively new and unfamiliar plan. There will be a cheering section, encouraging our performance but there will also be intense competition. We cannot fault the sorting process, opportunity will come to the person or persons who best suit its potential for growth. We may not be able to select our opportunity; it may be selected for us. If it is, then it suits our authenticity.

30TH In retrograde, Pallas Athena steps back in time regressing into Sagittarius asking us to give everything another look. Going back over certain things helps us to find the threads that need to be unified with how we see things now. A freer field of perception uses our resourcefulness in advantageous ways. The truth will set us free. Otherwise we are unified and made more whole. Laughter and humour evaluates real worth and brings healing. We benefit from receiving spiritual knowledge or achieving mental attunement. We will wax philosophically. There are strategies being launched against the jihadists. We must leave it to the regional expertise.

31ST Mercury high steps into Gemini, moving so quickly we would think it is walking over hot coals. That is what gets us into trouble, a deluge of random thoughts. We are formulating inner realisations broadly and shallowly so we can lose cohesiveness. The quickened mind is stimulated, diversified and lively but it can be too busy. In a kafuffle the mind can scatter. Directed, mental power can successfully achieve simultaneous things. There is an urge to write, to get away or learn something new. Easily distracted, quick to debate and full of our own opinion not everyone will be able to attain focused direction with this brightened mind.

1st  

 

Happy May Day! The earliest May Day celebrations appeared in pre-Christian times, with the Floralia, festival of Flora, the Roman goddess of flowers, held April 27 during the Roman Republic era, and with the Walpurgis Night celebrations of the Germanic countries. It is also associated with the Gaelic Beltane, most commonly held on April 30. The day was a traditional summer holiday in many pre-Christian European pagan cultures. While February 1 was the first day of Spring, May 1 was the first day of summer; hence, the summer solstice on June 25 (now June 21) was Midsummer. ~ Wikipedia

We started last month in incubation. The universe and the powers that be provided life support while we sorted through the what, where and how of where we landed after the evolutionary mix master of 2012 through to the spring equinox of 2015. We have broken through, broken away or receive revelations that we must now ponder and diffuse while observing the deeper urges that slowly start to surface. We ponder the questions that come up and diffuse the conflicts of recent times. Our nature, primal drives and instincts are in high definition. Inherent proclivities are sacred.

A little obsessive-compulsive we feel life looms larger than us. Detachment keeps us in league with our destiny during these shape shifting psychological processes. We penetrate the hidden, unknown and unseen to illuminate the facts. Personal power is used in service to clearheaded ideals. We cannot have 100% of the population on board with evolutionary, ascensional or self-realisation related shifts. There will be PDD, power deficit disorder; it takes over those who are driven by their own pain. They manipulate, control and dominate. A cruel streak would mow down and drag along anyone who gets in their way or comes into play. Cold indifference treats people as if they do not count. They would be a wasted effort.

3RD Happy normal Full Moon...it has been awhile since we experienced the simplicity of fullness. It is almost peaceful if we are in the right gear. The disharmonious will stand out and those who feel the need to be in control too. We do not want to be controlled. We recognise the insufficiencies of those who are trying to control everyone and everything. We can separate ourselves from people we have known for a long time because we recognise that we are not in league with each other and no longer resonate. This is not just being out of touch, but an innermost feeling that it is a never again situation. Separate pathways severed at this time will no longer intersect. We get validated by people of like resonance and move ahead in that swarm.

We will learn to form better judgment, method, rule, organisation and guideline. In order to avoid being stumped by our inflexibility we will get so shaken up and scattered we cannot remain rigid. In order to get unstuck, delimited, unrestricted and be accepted we need to let go. If we cannot let go then these energies will help. There will always be opportunity to continue this process. If circumstances cause extreme reactions or a crisis there is more personal work to be done. Anything can be restrictive. If it even hints at suppressing free spiritedness it will be considered a challenge. In the moment we feel irritated and oppressed by a force we can do nothing about. Although change is necessary for continuance we do not have to wreck everything we just need to adjust. With each step we are making course corrections.

7TH The mind is capable of focusing and concentrating on innovative and intuitive ideas. We are able to present our vision to advocate liberation and to implement non-possessive mutual agreement. We can infuse original and universal impulses into our personal dedications between people. It is possible to foresee changes in career. The ever present electronic device may be nearing the end of the honeymoon phase. We discover the faults, wastefulness and anxieties in electronics and related services. These are transitional times, an era of internet reform perhaps. It is time to clean up the fringe aspects of electronic usage.

The fullness of the Moon's reflection of the Sun will broadcast its profound riches during the Disseminating Phase. Great distribution spills out of the cracks in the etheric veil. We are enlightened where we used to be haunted by ghosts of the past. Many changes of mind move rapidly through the rational mind. It can have its crazy-making moments but overall the end result will be exemplary. People can slip away as relationships dissolve for reasons beyond examination. Each soul magnetically moves toward their destined resonation. So too our relationships to things will change form, be corrected or refined as in how we define and structure. We are recreating ourselves in our organic essence and following our higher self. Good work!

8TH Venus in Cancer should be a good thing and for the most part it will be with some exceptions. Somewhere down the road it will intersect with Pluto's position in Capricorn which makes some intense things happen in relationship. If it starts to build early on it will reach quite a crescendo halfway through and the diminuendo will clear out unnecessary baggage, material possessions, hidden fears, anxieties and resentments. Very strong emotional tides stir up the depths. We take our commitments more seriously and want total communication. Do not rush out to fill in the missing pieces, the large chunks of life that have been evacuated. Let the flaws of life be what they are. This is a turning point and life is shifting into a new era which makes these types of things happen more profusely. Acknowledge what it is. Give as much care, nurturing and kinship, support, sympathy, trust, willingness to listen, empathy and sharing as is possible. Be thankful for what others share. Hindsight is twenty-twenty.

9TH Hesitation dances on our dot. We have listened and been polite but we still cannot get ourselves passed certain aspects of our mind sets. We need to deal with our issues, not ask someone else to negotiate them but really face ourselves head on. If someone else disapproves of us we are likely to get more pernickety about what we really need to avoid. Strategies get reworked to the detriment of our health. We go over and over and over them. It might be better to just be. If we inflate things we will distress them. If we get sparks flying just back out of the situation and let the hot embers die out. Sitting with ourselves quietly gets a whole lot more done. A new expression will find its way into us to expand our scope.

10TH Happy Mother's Day  

Mother's Day is a modern celebration honouring one's own mother, as well as motherhood, maternal bonds, and the influence of mothers in society. It is celebrated on various days in many parts of the world, most commonly in the months of March or May. The celebration of Mother's Day began in the United States in the early 20th century; it is not related to the many celebrations of mothers and motherhood that have occurred throughout the world over thousands of years, such as the Greek cult to Cybele, the Roman festival of Hilaria, or the Christian Mothering Sunday celebration (originally a celebration of the mother church, not motherhood).Despite this, in some countries Mother's Day has become synonymous with these older traditions.

Preoccupied with ourselves and rightful strategy we are so full of our own independent self-interests any approach or tug on our attentions is received defensively. We are overly critical of other people's wants and wishes because we are so intensively engaged with our own inner dialogue. Forget the chip; some people have a brick on their shoulder. It is more likely some innocent bystander will be the recipient of another person's contamination. Leave everyone alone to do what they want. If we poke them they may do exactly what we do not want them to do. Hidden agendas will be revealed along with losing propositions. Boost the immune health, these are aggressive energies and the immune protection is inattentive.

11TH The Last Quarter Moon Phase is a check up. We do quality control and make appropriate adjustments and adaptations. We back out or change our mind if necessary. If successful there will be more plans to be made for future involvement. We take stock and are willing to make serious decisions. Letting go greases the wheel for things to happen. A change in strategy pays off. We are magnetically drawn to the right people, information or direction. Intuition and imagination are strong and healthy. Necessity makes us inventive and adaptable. We remember good times and the people who helped us along the way.

Our energy gets turned on rapidly. Excitement grabs our interest. We are changeable and curious. Gemini can be scattering and Mars is our ability to act or accomplish. This can be highly nervous energy. It is a challenge to stay focused and in the moment. Will power and steadiness of action is intermittent. People lose interest quickly. Impatience causes misunderstanding and wrong action. Fidgety and restless we act on our impulses and find that our scattered passions make us feel tired. Travel can be fun, sightseeing, hiking, networking, socializing, biking and joy riding fit the resonance. Day to day experience will be up, down and sideways but very versatile. Clean up miscommunications; get caught up with paperwork, correspondence or writing and make lists to handle the immediate priorities. Routine will be difficult to uphold.

12TH Ancestral patterns and biological memory traces are plucked from our attitude if they interfere with our strength of purpose. Due to the recent eclipse and Pluto's retrograde we cannot hang onto the inappropriate. We need to be mindfully flexible and ultra aware of that which is beyond our control. We are building the courage to act. In the meantime we are carving out a securely empowered position. Once we have established security within our mind we can expand on it out in the world. The survivalist within is more mindful and ultra aware. Magnetism links us to what we need to improve our resonance.

Disclosure clarifies sorts, resolves, discovers, balances, corrects and rethinks realisations in a more wise consideration. We find wisdom by sharing and equality with what we do not want to give up. Our mind merges with other minds and gains in objectivity and proportion. Internal conflicts and imbalances are given relevance and significance. We find the answers we seek without blame. In the process our uniqueness is validated.

13TH Healing comes to the soul. We experience a purified wholeness that comes from being true to the self and never giving up. Self-sufficiency is a high expectation, one worthy of reaching. We can sublimate our desires, passions and temptations into greater competence. In accord with our core creative fires we inspire and are inspired. We share and receive, assist and are helped, uplift and are uplifted. Healing is given and received as is an awakening to intellectual stimulation. We open ourselves to expand our horizons and help other people realise their possibilities too. We can forego, surrender, sacrifice and devote ourselves. Dedication to keeping the integrity of something is a role we cannot turn down.

14TH Ascension Day

The Balsamic Moon is rich with purpose for whatever is at the heart of our inspired self. We slide the door back and walk out into a new opportunity. Greet mid-May with open arms and divorce the self from fear, impairment and hesitation. We can go forward leaving the past behind while creatively forging new expectations. The relationships that do not support our quest may not be able to come to our new dimension with us. No matter how hard we try they just do not fit in. This is the crossroads of like-mindedness and purposefulness. We need to take care of ourselves like never before. Nurture the body, mind and soul.

Personal responsibility, self-discipline and constructiveness will create stability. Self-authority attends to decisiveness. Self-restraint during times of limitation, restriction, inhibition, irritation, delay, mistake or restrictive rule gets us passed the critical juncture in our situations. We can face the end of something that has collapsed or been defeated. Or we can be rounding the corner to the final leg of completion. Our weak spots are revealed. Restructuring turns us inside out. Some people vent anger and grievance in an ego conflict with the first available victim. We can get blindsided or caught off guard by them.

16TH  

Two planets representing mythically superior immortals will commune in haughty ceremonial regalia fit for their feast. Their symbolic idealisation can border on self-righteous extravagance. Both are elaborately convicted of their personal powers of influence. If we share philosophical, educational or religious beliefs with others there will be much to celebrate in making contact. Disparage will be very evident and not easily tolerated. This can be symbolic of professionals or public officials in high standing meeting for diplomatic negotiation. There is a high degree of arrogance in this energy but also a desire to arrange a complete meeting of minds on mental, emotional and spiritual levels. The bar may be too high but it will be a worthy attempt. There is good luck with money, contract or arbitration.

17TH There have been many big changes, shifts or transformations whichever apply. We have been wandering around the surreal landscape of our breakthrough or break away trying to grasp the greater dimension we are evolving toward. At this time we can tune into these higher octaves and feel like we can get to work. Restless to get going or discover the next step we seek out new opportunity. We become very future-oriented. We have a sense of where the future can support opportunity. The unforeseen, sudden surprising or unexpected can occur. Be free, allow new opportunities, be tolerant and listen psychically. We can grasp greater dimensions, work with the evolved mind. It is possible to be in the power of now.

18TH The problems that will come up are not coming from powers beyond our control. They are very much from our subconscious control. The use of personal power is in question. We will be faced with sorting out however we give ourselves the most difficulty. Negative expressions such as mistrust, resentment, jealousy, manipulation, destructiveness, greed, anger, hostility, pettiness and other toxic dysfunctional behaviour leak out of our psyche. These are harmful interactional patterns we need to identify, understand and remedy. Intensity builds implosively. There are riddles and puzzles to solve. Issues of equality, injustice and propriety are surfacing. Inappropriate attachment needs to give way. The more we struggle the worse it gets. Stop struggling. Forgiveness brings healing.

Mercury will pivot on its dot and begin one of its regular retrograde periods. Mercury's orbit is stationing; standing still or trying to, at the entrance to one of the busiest minded signs; Gemini. Nothing really stands still in this air sign; it just becomes perplexed and complicated. Expect this retrograde to be more bothersome than most if the details of life are your expertise. We can get a lot done, complete a to-do list and socialise if we are not too concerned with order and organisation. This is not a good time to purchase machinery such as cars, computers or communication equipment. We may experience electronic problems or petty irritations with such devices. It will be instrumental in breaking up deeply engrained mind sets and emotionally driven behaviour. By airing our thoughts we may find more understanding in our relationships. Think about long term goals; in every life there is a purpose, some people pursue an understanding of it and others live serendipitously; dancing around its discovery.

19TH Odds and sods plague us and divert our mind from synchronised performance. It is difficult to take things in stride. We feel like a misfit. Think before speaking or acting. Little problems, faults in the details, failings and flaws or interruptions test our flexibility. Sway, bend and flex as things happen. Do what can be done and resign to do better when it can be done. Confidence should not be undermined. Assurance needs to be good natured. We may not do what we thought we were going to do but our instincts will disclose deep truths. If it is possible take some quiet time, meditate, intuit and dream.

20TH We are at a point of choice. We are developing our reincarnational purpose. We were born to witness this time on earth. This incarnation is of vital and primary importance to the destination of our evolutionary soul. It is not so much about consequences; we have dealt with them a lot over the last few years. It is about intentions. This life's resolutions create our next destination and state; be it in another life or in another dimension. We have received our performance review. We know how well we have done and what we want to achieve in the next five years. A commitment to our path is all we need.

What not everyone realises is that we are building bridges for our afterlife and next incarnation if it is our destiny. We are all one and we need to understand each other to make the grade in this level of self-development. We are all bound together on this Earth, interdependent on goods, services, the air we breathe and the rain that falls. We need to realise that we are bound together by human nature too. We cannot condemn others for not being able to be a good person; yet. The system cannot be blamed for its injustices either. Almost everyone on the earth is here to fix their flaws and round out their character, how can what they create be perfect?

It is possible to know the darkness that lurks within people because we have it within, choose not to do it and work with it more positively. We choose to not employ those weapons using intelligence and capability instead. Being called to a higher standard it is not in our consciousness to fail our values and beliefs. However, no nation and no individual is totally self-sustaining therefore survival depends on cooperation and interdependence. We can only save what is valuable from the past as we create a new model for future generations to carry on. The need to develop our relationship with the natural resources of the earth takes us back to our pagan roots where a balanced relationship with nature was paramount and males and females enjoyed an egalitarian society. We are on the bridge to everywhere.

The Sun moves into Taurus the realm of your subconscious where it lights up your life with great vision. It will reveal the ways you have been recreating yourself into a stronger upgraded version. The mind is alive with the many details and projects therefore anxious to make progress which means you can get frustrated if it is not quick enough. Question your superiors, their use or misuse of power and their need for absolutism. There is success and gains but avoid getting entangled in other people's karma. The personal mannerisms that you adopted from your parents may be out of place or dysfunctional in current times. Wrinkles between parent and child are smoothed. There is change, lots of it, but most of it is self initiated. Beware of the brainwashing that others attempt. You will be in your element strongly expressing your individuality. Someone intimate finds it hard to accept the changes in but you must be consistently yourself rather than easily influenced. Taking charge or being responsible affords you the opportunity to demonstrate your abilities. Another way that someone will try to take control of you is by gaining your sympathy, empathy and compassion but it is too idealistic and misappropriated. You need to see this person's weaknesses and dysfunctions, their destructive patterns and how they are driven by a perception of woundedness. Retrograde Pallas Athena steps back into your shadow sign, the polar opposite Sagittarius. Through the vision it affords you will be able to go back over history to see how things have evolved to the way they are to date. This is insightful. Mercury bebop's into Gemini. It is your ruling planet so you enjoy its company. It can and does get you into trouble. Your busy curious mind strays too far into other people's boundaries. On other fronts you will uncover or reveal important information. Watch out for PDD, power deficit disorder. It takes over those who are driven by their own pain. They manipulate, control and dominate sometimes cruelly. You are meant to observe the condition as it exists in others or if it flares up in yourself. Cold indifference mows down anything in its way and drags it by its undercarriage. These types of people are not in league with their destiny. If you find yourself behaving this way neither are you. All in all these events and circumstances teach you to form better judgment, what to avoid, where to get unstuck and break free or breakthrough the minor issues as presented. You will make good money and increase your worthiness because you are innovative. Venus quietly strolls into Cancer which unleashes momentum that takes you to a new shift, a turning point. It can cause you to hesitate, dither and be indecisive or inconsistent as if you are afraid to move forward. You know it is an expansion you cannot put back in the box. Thinking too much, carrying a chip on your shoulder and being too concerned with other people's performance reveals your hidden agenda. Mars boldly converges with Gemini interjecting profuse energy and excitement into your being but it can also step up perplexity and paranoia. In some respects you need to come-clean, reveal yourself. In the disclosure you cannot hang onto inappropriate memory patterns and attitudes. Individuality is not your problem, self-sufficiency is a worthy goal but you need to sublimate certain desires, temptations or passions into greater competence to achieve healing. Integrity is of greater importance. Hard nitpicky work takes all your concentration, self-discipline and constructiveness to complete. You will be proud of yourself when the restructuring is done. You are a star but your perfectionism does not allow you to respect your achievement. Do not poke the bear! If you aggravate someone expect the reaction you deserve. Your creativity comes to the forefront, grasping the higher octave of reality and manifesting an opportunity. Harmful interactive patterns are negative expressions that pull and push you and others around. You see this in yourself which helps you to get beyond them. Mercury's retrograde is in Gemini. This does not always mean you will have a harder time than most. Sometimes it helps you to glide through it. It looks like it stirs up perplexities so it is up to you how you handle them. Misfit thoughts zoom through your conscious mind and creative daydreaming moments cause you to feel on a bit of a roller coaster. You are at a point of choice with yourself and the pressure could cause you to do something destructive in a fit of rectification. It will cost you a lot, reconsider. Make decisions that bring positive consequences.