In This Issue of DFQ 

Healing the Spirit Highlight by Michael Reilly, MA, Donor Family Advocate 
 

    

When we lose a loved one, we often feel alone in our grief. Our feelings, thoughts and behaviors can be confusing. We sometimes feel like we are the only ones having these bizarre experiences or like we are "going crazy" and there is "something wrong" with us.

If we're lucky, we might have understanding people in our immediate support system with whom we can share our disconcerting experiences, who allow us to talk about our grief and provide us with comfort. If not, we can feel isolated and tend to withdraw from social contact. Often people, even those close to us, expect us to "move on" with our lives and "get over" the loss of our loved one. They can say things to us which are not helpful, and sometimes hurtful.

It is important to be able to express our grief, to talk with someone who understands this alien world, to talk about our departed loved one, to shed tears that bring us some relief, to share our grief with another. Often those closest to us and our loved one are also grieving. They are reluctant to share their grief, because they believe that it upsets us to do so. So they hold back their grief and distance themselves from ours. The mutual grief becomes a barrier to, rather than a means for, healing our grief. So we walk our journey through grief alone and bewildered.

If this describes you, please consider the LifeNet Health Grief Companion® program. We will connect you with another LifeNet Health donor family member who is more distant from the early trauma of grief, who has traveled the journey for a good while, who understands the visceral experience of grief, and who is willing to accompany you on your journey.

Your Grief Companion will allow you to talk and will listen with quiet compassion and without judgment, knowing that each grief experience is unique - that there is no wrong or right way to grieve and mourn, only your way. He or she will let you cry and talk about your loved one, encourage you to tell your story as often as you need to, and will answer questions like, "is it normal to...", suggesting ways to cope with the inevitable anniversaries and holidays. Your Grief Companion will be available when you want to talk, and will check in with you when you are quiet. They are all volunteers who wants to give back some of what they have received from others. 

To request a LifeNet Health Grief Companion®, click here.