A picture really is worth 1,000 words -- Last year we asked people with developmental disabilities (DD), their families, and support staff to send us pictures with the theme Side-by-Side: Living a full life in the community. The winning photos (above) uniquely reflect the kinds of relationships found in the community between people with and without disabilities.
In the book The Pursuit of Happiness, psychologist David Myers wrote, "What comes up consistently at the top of the charts [for why people are happy] is not, as many might expect, success, youth, good looks or any of those enviable assets.The clear winner is relationships.Close ones...Supportive intimate connections with other people seem tremendously important." Indeed, social relationships satisfy an essential human need for belonging and human connection. A recent survey of people receiving services from the Developmental Disabilities Administration (DDA) found 40% of respondents reported feeling lonely at least half the time. Seventy-two percent reported having friends other than family or paid staff.
This past year DDA formed a work group of stakeholders focused on revising the Individual Plan (IP) development process. Recognizing that quality relationships with co-workers, friends, and romantic partners can be key to happiness and even influence health and well-being, the group has recommended that the issue of relationships be explored and supported as an important piece of an individualized and person-centered planning process. Teri Sparks, who just joined our team this month, served on this work group; we welcome her expertise and years of experience as an advocate.
In this issue of Council Connection, we are pleased to underscore the importance of relationships with Resources on Relationships, Council members Reflect on Relationships, and with this photo contest teaser. First, second, and third place winners will receive, respectively $200, $175, and $125, with the Facebook Fan Favorite receiving $100. Photos will not be accepted until July 1, so there's plenty of time to think about pictures to take. Have your camera (or phone) at the ready to capture relationships between people with and without developmental disabilities (not paid staff) that are meaningful and enriching --and contribute to community inclusion. Look for specific submission guidelines in June!
Brian Cox
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Maryland State House Annapolis
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Upcoming Events & Ongoing Opportunities:
May 19 - Join us at the Maryland State House in Annapolis to celebrate the Governor's signing of the bill to phase out subminimum wages! All in attendance can be photographed with the Governor, Senate President, Speaker of the House, the bill sponsors, advocates, and others. Arrive no later than 10:15-10:30. There is no specific time as there are many bills to be signed but the Governor will start about 10:30.
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Resources on Relationships
Below are a variety of resources on relationships and related issues that can be used to start a discussion among advocacy groups & families, or to enhance training.
Personal Relationships Between People With and Without Disabilities by Zena Marie Lutfiyya, Center on Human Policy
Friendships in People with Intellectual Disabilities Massachusetts Department of Developmental Services
Unlikely Alliances: Friendships and People with Developmental Disabilities John O'Brien and Connie Lyle O'Brien
IMPACT: Identity, Disability, and Sexuality: Reflections from a Son and his Father
Healthy Relationships, Sexuality, and Disability Massachusetts Department of Public Health & Department of Developmental Services
First Date: Either I'd Never See Him Again or Marry Him! Kathy O'Connell's blog from Radiant Abilities
This short, funny and informative video helps people "feel at ease" when they feel awkward about how to appropriately and respectably interact with people with disabilities - a first step in initiating a relationship. The title says it all!
Administration for Community Living (ACL) Blog
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Council Members Reflect on Relationships
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Aileen at her college graduation
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Aileen O'Hare helped select the winning photos last year. She reflects, "When I was growing up I did not really have friends without disabilities. Back then I was removed from my classroom and I felt singled out, like I didn't belong. Looking at the pictures reminded me of what I did not have as a child. I am glad to be a part of the changes we saw looking at all the pictures."
Damon Briggs had a segregated education until he was 13, when he was included in a general education class. He regrets not having the chance to make friends with children without disabilities at a younger age, "You can't wait till high school
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Damon during a break at a Council meeting
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because then it is too late-- stigma has already set in." He adds, "Society thinks that we need to be taken care of, or that we don't have the mental or physical ability to foster a relationship. People think we are vulnerable or weak and incapable of having those feelings. We are totally capable, just need a fair chance and to be viewed as a total person." As an adult, in addition to the invisible barrier of stigma, Damon, who uses a wheelchair, identifies physical barriers as the biggest obstacle to his living life fully, including developing relationships. "We are stuck in our homes...make social places more accessible-It's not going to happen by ourselves."
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Welcome Teri Sparks
Director of Grants & Initiatives, to the DD Council Staff team!
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