5th May 2016

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In your eyes
News and Comment from Roy Lilley
When I look in your eyes I don't see me.

We made the world ours to hold, to have, each day.

Together we climbed the mountaintop.  We had it all, we did it all. We created, we made, we laughed and cried.  We celebrated, argued, collapsed in each other's arms.

We created life, shared a life, saw some of our closest friends arrive at the end of their's.

What a life, what joy.  But, I can't see it in your eyes.

We travelled, we saw.  Sunrises, sunsets.  Art, history and the shops at the weekend!

The night we went late shopping and danced in the aisles to the canned music.  Were we on CCVT?  Who cares?

I don't have the tape and I can't see it in your eyes.

More than a woman.  More than a wife, more than a lover.  More than a friend.  

But I can't see me in your eyes.

I want to say sorry. I want to say thank you.  I want to tell you about the night I lied.  Don't leave me before I can confess, I was in the pub...

I can't see me in your eyes.

I never got close enough.  Really close.  Close enough to smell your perfume but not close enough.  

Now it's too late, I can't see myself in your eyes.

Your beautiful black eyes are dead.  They look but they don't see me.

Lonely days ,  lonely nights.  Where will I be without you?

Good morning day.  Good morning sunshine.  You don't see what I see.  

One day I will meet you, as before.  It will be in the morning.  The morning of a brand new day.

Be patient, I will catch you up.  In the sunshine.  The bright day when you will remember me and once again I will see myself in your eyes.

Please, bright and clever people, rid us of the scourge of dementia.  The landslide that is engulfing us.  

The pain on the outside is unbearable.  

I can't see myself in your eyes.  They look but they doesn't see.

I'm waiting in line.  Waiting for the day to come when we will be together and you will see me again.

Right now I can't see beyond the pain.  I can only look at you.  My heart is raining.  My life is waiting.  Which of us is the victim?

I would give you my shoulder to cry on but you don't know whose shoulder it is.  If I hold you, you won't know who is holding you, or why.

We sit, side by side, facing the window.  The garden is green.  It has been refreshed by spring rain.

For you there are no seasons. No rhyme, no reason.  

I think about the younger days. No one told me about today.  No one said one day it would all be broken.  I never thought about tomorrow.

A broken mind that has broken a heart.  

I can't see me in your eyes.
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